Lippy on Life

Money Can't Buy Love, but Maybe Sleep

2012-01-21T16:51:00.000-08:00

Ellie was always a good sleeper. From about 5 months you could read her a story, kiss her and put her into bed at 6:15 and she would sleep until 6:00 the next morning. (yes we were aware of our great luck) So awesome, but a few weeks after we put her into her new bed she got sick. Everyone knows a kid getting sick is the worst thing ever for sleep. She wouldn't sleep on her own, she woke up early, didn't want her door closed.

By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan. We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening. She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming. She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies. I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown. Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice. If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts. However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done. I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough. We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings. But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den. Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep. (or drive, be nice to people) Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds. Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway. Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.

Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful. She cried all night, I cried all night. But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open. And she kept her word. But she was still waking up at 4:30. Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up? Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK! Enter the most expensive clock ever:

(from amazon)

We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later) it turns green. So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning. So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well. She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green. Not ideal, but an improvement. One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock. So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.

OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough. That totally won't eff up the program we have going.

Breaking Up

2012-01-15T06:32:00.000-08:00

We just found out another couple we know are getting divorced. It feels like an epidemic, but I am guessing we have just reached the age where it happens. In the last two and half years we know 5 couples that have split up.

First was my best friend. Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years. It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.

Next, my cousin and his wife. The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later. They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents. Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain. She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up. She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere. Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders and knees replaced multiple times already. So you know, he left her after 16 years. For another woman. He is an asshole.

Then my aunt and uncle. They were married 29 years. He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed. When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone. He had to call his dad and tell him. My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers. He had no idea. He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated. We still don't know her deal.

Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer. We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before. It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks.

And now our friends. Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old. Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart. They had a girl, A, two months before we had Maddie. When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together. Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.

Being a grown-up is stupid.

Happy Holidays

2011-12-30T12:41:00.000-08:00

Well, that was fun right? I just love Christmas, and I think this might have been the last year all three kids would be into Santa. Owen told us before Christmas that Santa must be real because we would never spend that much money on presents. I think next year he will be a bit more sceptical.

We had a great time baking and cooking, decorating the house. The kids did a good job buying gifts for each other. Maddie and Owen seemed to really get the idea of picking something the other would actually want. It has been fun watching them get along a bit better as they have more in common with her starting to read.

The only bump this year was Ellie, she started being afraid of the dark beginning of October and hasn't slept well since then. It's like having a newborn again, and I don't do sleep deprivation well. We are working on retraining her again, booooo. I am crushed by exhaustion, but I think we are finally making progress.

What was your favorite moment this season??

Mine is this:

They both used a pastry bag, and had so much fun putting these together. Sadly, Santa loved them so much he took them back to the North Pole with him (the trains, not the kids).

Updates in bullet fashion

2011-11-01T21:42:00.000-07:00

I talked with Owen's teacher, apparently 3rd grade is for serious with the writing. They want main ideas and supporting sentences. Whatever. Also, he has timed math tests, 50 problems in a minute which seems a bit much to me. His teacher is also not fond of them but, that is what their grade level does. ( Karma knocks...I have my algebra 1 kids do timed tests, but they have 50 problems in a minute and a half.) He is being tested again for GATE this month, he tested in April but missed the cut-off, and the teacher wants to test him again. Personally, I don't care, but Owen has his heart set on it. So I am crossing my fingers for him, because the weeping will kill me. He sent me an email (he can email us and grandparents) one night, this was his email

Mom I keep having nightmares that I am blind. and I can't hear. then I die :(

It is the saddest most hilarious email ever. I know I shouldn't laugh but the frowny face is what really kills me.

Kindergarten is killing Maddie. Ok, just the lack of naps, everyday she comes home a frazzled mess. I don't think it is just the sleep, she still sucks her thumb but only with her kitties when she is laying down. I think she is also missing a little quiet time by herself. She is one of the few five year olds who frequently tell people she need a little alone time. She has had her ups and downs since I wrote this. Honestly, the comments were all helpful, but Swistle's comment about validating and compromising were smack my head helpful. I don't care for it when Bud tells me my problems are no big deal, why would Maddie? Note to self: my children are people. I should put that on a sticky note. She is starting to be able to pull herself out of the nosedive of despair, and if all else fails we send her to her room and she falls asleep. One night she fell asleep at 5:45 and didn't wake up until 7:00, she was magical that day.
Ellie went for a trifecta this October, her daycare closed for 2 days for a wedding, she got strep and while on antibiotics, she got a viral thing (hand, foot and mouth?). She moved into her big girl bed:

Owl quilt!

We started off with the mattress and box spring but she fell out a few times so now she just has a mattress. She just loves the bed, she will lay in bed on the weekend for 30 minutes just enjoying her bed. She calls it her "good girl bed", so I guess the crib made her feel like a bad girl.

Faith Shaken

2011-10-11T22:57:00.000-07:00

Well, found out I don't have to testify tomorrow. I don't really understand all of it, but I guess the pharmacy agreed with the charges. The pharmacy board decided it was a store issue and not a pharmacist issue, so they dropped the complaint against her. I reminded them that the pharmacy manager looked at the pills with her eyeballs, and said they were the right medication. That seems like the definition of the pharmacists fault. So nothing happens to the pharmacist, the pharmacy has to pay a $1000 fine and they have to participate in trainings.

I feel a bit deflated. I am having a tough time for some reason. Not that I wanted any one's head on a platter, but something a bit more severe would have been nice. I guess I did what I could right?

Anxiety

2011-10-09T22:57:00.000-07:00

Owen is not transitioning well to 3rd grade. We are not super fond of his teacher, she is very much about punishing people. He is shy and anxious, his teacher last year really seemed able to bring out the best in him. He is flaky and flighty, and I don't know how to get him more focused. I sent his teacher an email to get suggestions from her, but haven't heard anything back yet. I spent half an hour crafting my email, trying to convey that we are concerned, we aren't blaming her, but also she maybe need to focus on him a bit.

He has been having dreams about us dying, so I know that school is making him upset. He has an ipod touch, and he is allowed to email us and his grandparents, last week he sent me an email from bed saying he keeps having a nightmare about being blind, and he can't hear... and then he dies. So clearly, mother of the year over here.

I am on a committee at his school and my job is to organize the volunteers to sell tickets. I have to coordinate with a mom, who seems determined to not understand what I mean. I explained the days I need volunteers, and gave her a sign up sheet with all the days and times. She made a new sheet with only one day. Then when I asked her about it she said her class would only do one day and I would have to find someone else to do the others. Unfortunately she informed of this a week before I need people. I hate having to talk to people I don't know, then to have them ignore me and have to keep addressing them on it is really stressful.

Also, remember my pharmacy issue? I have to testify to the governing board on Wednesday. Gahhhhh

Who Knew??

2011-08-12T23:20:00.000-07:00

Pickles could be so easy...

I went with Catherine Newman's pickle recipe. She has never failed me yet and I figured it was worth a try. Best pickles ever. Sadly we only got 6 cucumbers, I am hoping for more tomorrow, because I have more dill.

Todays Challenge....

2011-08-06T09:56:00.000-07:00

This is our basket from this week. I was very excited about the asparagus and red peppers, Maddie begs for both when we are at the store, but it can be pricey so I just buy them on sale. That is a full dozen tomatoes at the right, and toward the back are some plums, but I am not sure what variety they are yet. ( they are pluots!)

I am going to try and do pickles with the 6 pickling cucumbers. I have never made pickles, so I am excited. Trouble is my dad is in town and then we are leaving for a few days so I don't know how the pickling will work?? Hmm looks like I need to do some research.

Eggplant Update

2011-08-04T21:57:00.000-07:00

Let's say you are laying in bed in the morning and you hear your two year old talking. Then you hear a weird, unidentifiable sound, and you and your spouse discuss what is this strange sound?? Hmm well, she isn't crying so leave her be. NO. NO you get up immediately and see what the demon seed is doing:

No idea where she found a pencil but she really gave the wall and bookcase a work out. She will not contain her muse to a piece of paper. She has colored on everything in this house, we hide writing utensils like most people hide matches.

So the eggplant. I have mentioned my Meta Givens cookbook before, I found a recipe for Eggplant En Casserole and had all the ingredients so what the heck. I made some changes because I strongly believe onions are bigger now that they were in 1947.

Eggplant (peeled and diced mine was about 4 cups)

2 tomatoes sliced (peeled, but I didn't because how do you do that?)

1C cheese ( I used cheddar jack also I don't measure cheese I just throw handfuls)

Butter

Breadcrumbs

Salt and Pepper to taste

Saute the eggplant and onion is butter until semi cooked about 5 minutes. Then layer eggplant/onion then tomato then cheese then repeat. On the top sprinkle more cheese and some breadcrumbs. Put a few dabs of butter on top. Cook at 375 for about half and hour.

Bud and I both loved this, the tomatoes added a nice bit of freshness. Owen nearly vomited just looking at it, and Ellie liked the first bite but refused anymore. Maddie at three helpings, of course she thinks edamame is a huge treat so she is not your typical kid. Definitely something I will make again. Owen use to eat tons of vegetables but has been more picky since hanging out with more kids, I think since he use to love veggies as a little kid he will eventually get back to them as he gets older. I hope.

I can't wait to see what this Saturday brings.

Trying New Things

2011-08-01T13:13:00.000-07:00

For the last few week we have participated in Bountiful Baskets. It is pretty cool, especially since we live in a desert and don't have lovely farm stands like we visit in PA when we are there. Each week we sign up and pay for a basket. Then on Saturday we shlep out the the designated location and pick up the basket. It is $16.50 for a basket, and this week in the basket we got a bag of potatoes, 2 tomatoes, green beans, eggplant, leaf lettuce, a cantaloupe, 5 plums, 5 peaches, a couple pounds of grapes and bananas. Which where I live is way more the $16.50.

Each week there is one item that is "unusual" at least for us. This week it is the eggplant. Last week we got kale, and another week it was swiss chard. I love the opportunity to try something that our family has not tried. I love looking for the recipes, and trying them out. So my project this week is the eggplant.

Just try to get your children to eat me....

So I think I found a recipe, lets see how many I can get to eat eggplant.

OCD Pays Off Part 2

2011-07-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

So pretty much everyone I talked to reacted the same as you guys in the comments. I called my doctor's office, because of the pain medications they don't want you bouncing around pharmacies, to let them know I would be changing to a different pharmacy. When I explained to the first person on the phone, she gasped really loud and told me to hold on. I got the feeling they started passing my call to other people in the office to freak them out. The doctor passed along a message that no way in hell should I go back there, and the nurse said if it was her she would put up a big stink.

We bypassed the store level, because the first person Bud talked to was the manager, so it seemed a bit pointless to complain to her. Also, not only did she screw up, the other pharmacist was also very Wahteva about the whole thing, so it seems as if much of the staff there is a bit indifferent. I filed a complaint on the store website, and ..... crickets chirped. Finally, three weeks later the district manager called and left a message, I called back and he was out. I gave them the best times to reach me, and every time he called it was never when I was home. I would say call after 3 and he would call at 9 am. We did that for two weeks, and he just stopped trying to reach me. But I am sure he was able to write in his report that he tried to contact me.

I also found the state agency that oversees the pharmacies, and filed a complaint with them. I was afraid that was a bit of overkill. I had to write a long statement, and actually mail it, with a stamp! I got a call from a guy there to tell me that he would talk to me in length the next week, but just wanted me to know that I was going to be addressed, and set up a time to talk with me. I thought that was nice, also he had given me his cell number, so when I called, he answered not a receptionist ( one less person to talk to on the phone WIN).

So the next week he called, and asked me to talk him through the whole thing. I had taken pictures of the two different pills with the prescription bottle in the picture as well. He said that was really helpful, as Swistle said, he was able to determine from that who filled the prescription, who was suppose to check it and so on. He said he was very impressed with my organization, and attention to detail. I am a super dork, so that made me happy. Anyway, he will finish his investigation and then take it to the pharmacy board later this month. He said he would call me to let me know what happens, which could range from a letter in a file, to fines, suspensions and revocations of licenses. He was most disturbed that we had brought it back and were told it was fine.

He asked me what did I want for an outcome, and I told him I didn't want to hear in the news about someone dying because of them. (A few weeks later there was a mix up at the same chain in a different state with a 2 year olds medicine) He told me his job is not just disciplinary action, but to find out why the mistake happened and rectify the situation so it doesn't happen again. I will say, he was very nice, informative, and reassuring. I am sure the local news would be shocked that a state employee was helpful and nice.

Of course, two weeks after this happened all the kids got sick. We had to fill 7 or 8 prescriptions for them in the next 8 weeks. We changed to a pharmacy in the grocery store, which is nice, because you always need something at the store. Also the people there are so nice, they remember our names! They asked why we switched and I told them the story. When I had spoken with my doctor's office, everyone was appalled that there were two different pills in the same bottle. Well, the new pharmacist explained, if they have to fill a prescription with two different manufacturer's pills, they have to be in different bottles and the pharmacist has to speak to the customer, apparently it is a law.

So, as Ma Ingalls would say "all's well that ends well".

OCD Pays Off, Eventually, Sort of... Part 1

2011-06-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

As I have mention many time I have neck and back issues. I had injections last year, but still use muscle relaxants, arthritis medication daily and pain meds occasionally. We were filling our prescriptions across the street at the large national chain we will call WalBlue.

So Bud went and picked up my refills that I had called in, when he got home I opened the muscle relaxant immediately, and noticed that the pills were not the same as usual. They looked similar, so I dumped out the bottle and realized there were two types of pills in the bottle, one that was what I was familiar with, and one that was a bit larger and had different markings. So like any reasonable person, I consulted google. And google told me it was a diabetes medication, not a muscle relaxant. Bud immediately went back to the pharmacist and showed her the problem. She poked around on the computer, looked in a few bottles, and on a few shelves then told Bud it was a new generic that they were changing to.   I kept feeling skeptical, but if it is new, maybe it just isn't online yet? I mean who do you trust, the pharmacist who went to school forever or a website possibly updated by crazy Uncle Joe?

At first I avoided the new pills, but my insurance won't pay for more until a month has gone by, and more than half are the new pills. So I finally took a few, I can take up to 4 a day, but usually just take 2. Then I came down with a bug, of the intestinal sort. I don't have the kind of job where I can just run to the bathroom whenever I want.  I was also woozy, light-headed and nauseous and shaky. I eventually set up lessons for a sub, figuring I caught a bug from my students.

Anyway, this went on for a few days, I was ready to take a sick day when WalBlue calls and asks us to bring in the bottle of medication.   They wanted to replace it with all the same pill. Bud kept asking if they gave me the wrong meds and they just said it was the wrong dosage. We took it back (first I took pictures and kept a few of the wrong pill) and got the prescription fixed. Bud spoke to a different pharmacist, explained the situation and she responded with "these things happen all the time, we are doing our best". (and there is only one dosage for my prescription and one generic, there is no new generic)

So to me, yes mistakes happen HOWEVER

1) we noticed and brought it back ASAP, and the pharmacy manager didn't know it was wrong.
2) giving the wrong meds could cause a reaction with the other crap I am taking.
3) the diabetes stuff was extended release 1 every 24 hours I was taking 2 each day and by doctors directions could have been quadrupling the dosage.
4) My dad has bad eyesight and would never have noticed the difference. My mom may have noticed but would have assumed everything was fine. How many people don't match the description on the bottle with the pill in the bottle. I am super obsessive about that, drug interactions scare the bejesus out of me.

Oh, and the side effects of the wrong medicine they gave me? Nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, light-headedness I wasn't sick, I was having side effects of a medicine I shouldn't have been taking. As soon as I stopped taking it I felt better.

So how do you proceed from here? Do we let it go?

To be continued...

So I am paying you to insult me?

2011-05-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

I had an appointment today with my pain doctor for my neck. I like him and feel he listens and blah blah. However, he is super chatty, he will talk your ear off. So today he started talking about the education system and how messed up it is and what should be done. Which, he knows I am a teacher, and proceeds to tell me that once teachers have tenure, they don't feel the need to work anymore. Ummmmm, so you're telling me I don't do anything anymore? That seems like a poor choice. I have been teaching for 13 years and bust my butt, as do 99% of the teachers I know. I am the first to admit there are some crappy teachers, and a few changes should be made but telling a patient that they are bad because they have been at the job too long?

I felt like I couldn't really get to upset because he will be giving me neck injections at some point. And quite honestly, I don't feel like having to defend my profession everywhere I go. I don't to his office and tell him what is wrong with health care. These would have been better topics:

My neck and current pain levels
Plans to treat above
Weather
Local sports team
New movie releases
What I am eating for dinner
When was the last time I scrubbed the toilets at home

I don't truly think he meant to offend, and he seems like a nice guy, just maybe politics should not be discussed with clients or patients.

Really?!?

2011-05-24T22:11:00.000-07:00

Since the end of March, Maddie has had two ear infections, strep, and now scarlet fever*. Ellie has also had two ear infections, some other viral thing, Owen had some sort of virus with a fever and red eyes.

Honestly, I can't take it anymore. At one point Maddie's fever went up to 105, I felt like I was running around the house with one of those thought bubbles that said " oh shit, do we go to the ER?" going around in my head. I could hear of speak to anyone I was freaking out so much. We did not go, we were able to get the fever down with Tylenol. She had missed her last dose, because, ironically (I think this is actual irony, feel free to correct me) we were at the doctors office because she was sick. Oh universe, you are so funny.

*Scarlet fever is strep but with a rash... who knew?

Well....

2011-04-27T16:07:00.000-07:00

What an awfully long pause. No point doing the whole "why I haven't posted in decade" thing. Everyone one knows, everyone is busy. I have been reading and commenting when I can think of any think to say.

Like everyone else, we have suffered with the unholy plague of 2011. We have been to the new pharmacy* 3 frillion times in the last 6 weeks. On the first saturday of spring break Maddie woke up with blood shot eyes. We figured pink-eye and took her and Ellie to the doctor ASAP. She had been coughing for a week or so, and had a low grade fever. It was not pink eye, she had coughed so hard she had broken blood vessels in her EYES. That was disturbing. Both also had ear infections and some giant tonsils.

Owen is currently on his second day home, with a fever. Usually my kids are pretty healthy. [Which I am totally taking credit for, when they are 60 with a heart like a 20 year old I will say "It's because I nursed you for a year damn it. Be grateful.] So this 6 weeks or so of crap is killing us, and using up tons of sick days. On a better note only 7 more weeks until summer vacation.

* Story for another day this week.

Sick Day!

2011-01-31T22:20:00.000-08:00

Ellie has been sick with a fever for the last two days, so I am home with her today.

First a visual aid:

Saddest baby evah!

4:15 am -4:30am Neighbor's barking dog wakes me up.

5:20         Ellie wakes up, luckily I am still awake from the dog.

7:00         Bud leaves with the kids

7:02         Ellie hits her head on the counter and cries

7:03         Yo Gabba Gabba (apparently you shouldn't hit your friends, are they advocating hitting                 non-  f riends? must check into this)

7:10          Ellie hits her head on the table and cries

9:00          Ellie falls asleep on me and I realize I have not yet eaten.

9:30         Try laying Ellie on couch, she starts screaming before her eyes open

10:30       Find poop on my sweatpants. 99% sure it is Ellie's, wash laundry

12:00       Lay her down for nap. Eat lunch of tater tots (dipped in butter, they are potatoes, don't judge)

12:11      Yay Ellie's awake

12:15      Ellie hits her head on the fridge and cries. It her head bigger than it was yesterday? What is the problem?

And the rest of the day was a blur of over tired toddler smacking her head into every object in our house, wiping snot on me, and me trying to cook dinner.

However, she did give me a kiss completely on her own. And she got a diaper and layed down on the floor and said "poooop". Clearly she is a genius, at least before she whacked her head 75 more times.

You only think they aren't listening

2010-12-20T18:54:00.000-08:00

Owen brought a ton of stuff home in his backpack this week, we found this amongst the pile.

Easier to read if you double click

double click to gahhh you already know

Obviously I need to stop using that as a threat. I can't imagine the look on his teacher's face. This one is a keeper. I can't tell you how many times we have read this and laughed our asses off. Which is good considering the amount of caramel corn I am eating.

Why do YOU have cats????

2010-11-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

When you think of all the reasons a person might have cats you think maybe:

cute
companionship
funny personality
low time commitment
mostly self sufficient
apartment sized

Or if you are more practical:

less smelly than dogs
eat bugs
keep feet warm at night
scares away mice
eats mice to stupid to be scared

We have two cats. Two (2) (dos) (deux)

The water is there all day, I don't know why they both get thirsty at the same time

So imagine my surprise a year ago when we had ........ an effing mouse living in our house. I lost my shit. Bud was doing a lot of trap setting, not a lot of mouse catching. I suggested putting the cat food away, eventually they would get hungry enough to DO. THEIR. JOB. For some reason Bud didn't like my suggestion ( I still think it's good). It took a week or so before he finally caught it. Whew.

Then a week and a half ago I went to the kitchen to make lunch and out of the corner of my eye I saw movement. I never really SAW anything, but I was pretty sure it was another mouse. I pretty much stood in one spot crying for ten minutes. So again Bud put out the traps, I glared at the cats and nothing happened. Then one day I saw the bastard run across the counter. Bud hurried an moved things off the counter while I stood on a chair screaming "There, there, there it is, there, there on the counter" in an endless loop. He finally trapped it in a bowl and took it outside, he meant to release it over the back wall, but it got out in our yard. Awesome.

Two days later Rigby (gray cat) struts into the house with live mothafrackin mouse, and lets it GO. In. my. house. Luckily Bud saw it grabbed it by the tail, ran out and threw it way over the wall into the street. (He is my hero, also he scrubbed his hands really good). What kind of cat does that? Srsly

Three days after that? Chloe (orange cat) does the same damn thing during dinner. I first ran screaming, but figured I better help catch it if we didn't want it in the house. I grabbed a broom, Bud got a diaper and we chased it back and forth til Bud caught it. It was d-e-a-d but Bud told Owen it was just playing dead, like a possum. It would totally come back to life out on the street.

I hate my cats. Obviously we need to keep the screen door locked because they can open it. However, the children are not overly conscientious about keeping it closed. Every time one of the cats comes in I check it's mouth before I open the door.

Anybody want an extra cat or two?

Terrible Fours??

2010-09-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

I have started this post so many times, but I am determined to push through it today. I have no idea what to do about Maddie. Last year was tough with her, but she was three so we figured things would get better.   We thought starting preschool this year would help. But the last few weeks have been a nightmare.

At school she is an angel, everyone there loves her. They tell me how kind, and sweet and wonderful she is for them. I don't know that girl, the girl I know is angry and stubborn and always on edge. I see brief glimpses of the girl they know, but she is a fleeting image. The girl I live with dominates the house with her frustration and anger.

We are trying new behavior systems, Owen and Maddie each start the day with three magnets. Fighting, or freak outs or tantrums result in the loss of a magnet. Once they lose all three, they go to bed. We keep track of how many they had at the end of the day and have a reward at the end of the week if they earned it.

On Monday, the first day, Maddie lost one in the car on the way home. She was losing her shit because her artwork did not fit her homework folder. When we got home she started her homework. The assignment was to circle pictures that started with the letter M. There was a bottle of medicine with a spoon next to it. She knew medicine started with an M, but spoon started with an S so it shouldn't be circled. BUT, there was no way to circle only the medicine without also touching the spoon. We tried explaining that the spoon was part of the medicine. No dice. She started screaming and scribbling on the paper. We finally had to take her to her room and leave her there until dinner.

When she traces her letters, she cries because she "can't write the letters perfectly". Her grammar is very precise for her age. She loses her mind when she can't do something "right". We keep trying to explain, practice....blah, blah.

She is so mean to Ellie, she pushes her down, takes things away, has said she wants Ellie to be eaten by a monster. I get the resentment, I do. But lately she has been going into Ellie's room and waking her up from her naps. Which just kills us, Ellie is super unpleasant without a nap. She lashes out at Owen, hitting him, and scratching him until he bleeds. He does torment her, and I think she waits until he doesn't expect it. Which, I get.

What really gets to me, are her meltdowns. She will lose her mind completely, even if she is getting her way. Today she spent 20 minutes crying because she wanted to wear legging, and I said OK. But she felt she was going to be to hot. So I said, don't wear them. Then she said but she wants to wear them. Ok. But what if she was to hot. She argued with herself for 20 minutes. I have no idea how to handle that.

Once she starts a meltdown there is no way to stop her.  I know this all sound like typical 4 year old stuff. I can't put into words how it feels around here. I wake up every morning wondering how bad things will get. When we get to the end of the day at work, we dread coming home. We just don't know how to help her, I am afraid we are doing it wrong and we will ruin her.

Should we get a child psychologist for her? Should I drink more?  Maybe I could stay with my mom until Maddie is six?

What have I been doing?

2010-09-11T20:37:00.000-07:00

There has been a little of this:

And some of this:

Oh, so much of this:

And Hello! Lots of this:

She never stops moving. She's like a shark, and she has also taken to biting. I don't remember the other two being so climby. She is kickin our asses on a ~~daily~~ hourly basis.

Holy, Geezy Pete, I Finished!

2010-08-19T21:35:00.000-07:00

You will now be subjected to pictures of THE QUILT. I think it was more work than giving birth, and took more hours than I can count.

But, it is pretty, yes?
This is an upclose of the quilting and the fabric. The dark purple looks black, but is actually a dark purple with flowers.

I am happy with how it turned out, but it does have numerous flaws. Bud threatened to beat me if I pointed them out to everyone, so I kept it to myself.

I was able to give it to her before we left PA and she seemed to really like it. It was a bit sad giving it away after all that work, but what can ya do?

I found out one of Bud's aunts is really into quilting and she showed me some of hers. They were absolutely gorgeous and all hand quilted. I might try hand quilting in the future, and also the applique that she does. It got me all motivated to try another. Everyone I know wants one, Owen really wants me to make one for him. I am thinking of making his and including his extensive button collection. He has a weird love of buttons and a giant jar of them. I think I could use some of them as embellishments. He loved the idea, so that is probably next.

I also want to make some baby quilts. I can practice new techniques and styles. I was thinking of donating those to a charity. We will see, I will keep you all annoyed with pictures.

The stupid things I do.

2010-07-27T21:52:00.000-07:00

I haven't been around the internet for awhile. We have been busy having dinner with friends and keeping the kids entertained. We leave for PA next week for TEN days. I am nervous about the flight with the kids. We are staying at an aunt's house while she is out of town so that will be nice.

We will be going to for my sister-in-law's wedding. Bud is giving his sister away, and the girls will be walking down the aisle at some point. I still haven't found a dress to wear, I really have nothing to wear. I have a backup dress I saw at JC Penney that I can get in a pinch. My MIL keeps saying it is low key, but I just found out yesterday the yellow dress shirt I had for Owen won't work, it needs to be white. He isn't even in the wedding, he is a guest for the love of Pete. I'm not even asking about his pants, I am sure they will be wrong, but too bad.

The best part is our gift. Remember me talking about taking a quilting class?? Well, hey if you have never really made a whole quilt from start to finish, the best thing is to make your first one a wedding gift. I'm not even using a pattern, so I am just making it up as I go. I found some quilts I looked for on the internet, and just copied them but I had to guess at yardage on material. I am now busting my butt trying to finish before we leave. It has woken me up at night trying to figure out the best way to make the whole thing.

So I will be spending many hours over the sewing machine this week. I really want it to look nice for her. I think we should get a back up gift, just in case. Also, maybe we should give her money to supplement the gift. Gahhh

Random things with no universal theme

2010-07-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

1) Update: Ellie can totally handle milk now! I don't understand how something can make a person barf for hours, can suddenly six months later be totally fine. Oh, well.

2) Bud and Owen went up to my brothers property to help build a cabin and camp. He took 1/3 of the kids, but only 1/8 of the work. ( don't as how long I spent deciding if I should use fractions or percentages, and what exact fraction of the work Owen actually entails) Maddie and I have had some nice one on one time. Mom took Ellie for a few hours so Maddie and I could shop and go to lunch. We also did a girl movie night with no boy movies. She has not seemed to miss the guys at all. When we were shopping at Target we got lunch at the snack bar. Maddie was a wreck because she was very hungry. The water was too cold, the chair was to far and the napkin wasn't folded in half. You can see how upsetting this is, right? So I told her that she was falling apart because she was hungry. At that point she clenched her fists and teeth and shrieked " I AM NOT FALLING APART!" Bwahhaaahaaa. The lady behind me burst into laughter. Three minutes after starting to eat lunch she was back to normal.

3) Bud and I are watching the first season of a show, maybe you heard of it?? West Wing?? It's awkward because I keep saying to Bud, " I think this is going to be a really good show." Well, duh, that's why it was on so long! Also there is no one to discuss it with because, Hello, 1999. Anyway, I like the show.

4) We leave later in the week to go to Disneyland. It will be the first time for the kids and I am really excited. We are having Ellie stay with my mom, otherwise one of us would have to sit out all the rides. I will miss her.

5) Ellie is finally starting to walk! Surely she is a protege. People always ask when babies are around 10 months if they are walking yet. I think babies who walk before 12 months are like unicorns. You hear about them but I don't think they exist in my family. Owen was over 14 months, Maddie was just after her first birthday and Ellie is getting close to 15 months. They get their superior physical skill from me.

6) Thank you all for your very supportive comments on my last post. It's nice to get non-teacher feelings and see that they are the same. It's encouraging that most parents are not crazy.

Destroying Lives.... One Child At A Time

2010-06-16T22:42:00.000-07:00

V@led!ctor!an (from here on out referred to as V) is a big deal at our school, we usually have between 9 and 16 kids with a perfect GPA each year. As an AP teacher I will have a few of them in my class. At the end of third quarter one of my students had an 89%, I knew she was a V candidate and expected her to really pick things up the last quarter. But she didn't, 4 weeks before the end of the year I emailed her parents and informed administration she was likely to get a B. At that point she needed a 100% on everything including the final to get the A. I added some stuff in the last few weeks to give her (and others) more opportunities to bring up their grades. But she still got the B (87.7%).

She was in my room the last day of school crying for 2 hours. Her mom called me during that time and ripped me apart for about a half hour. She told me I could be an inspiration to her daughter and the whole family, that I didn't like her daughter and was trying to screw her over and that I don't care about any of my students, I am playing with lives. She saying if it was my child I would want the teacher to change the grade. I refrained from telling her, no if it was my kid I would want them to actually earn it themselves. Then when she was on the phone with her girl she told her I was just a bitch. The phone calls and emails kept up for three days. The mom kept saying the girl would do some extra project, which kills me. What about the other kids, how is that fair to them? I'm not going to give an opportunity to one kid and not others. gahhh

I got wind of a few people bashing me, a few of my students and a teacher, and that was frustrating. It irked me that it all fell on me, not so much the student. My administration was supportive, with the exception of one, so that was helpful. Overall, it was all very stressful and hurtful. I did get an email from another parent thanking me, I actually burst into tears when I read it.

If nothing else next years class will get wind of the fact that I don't "give" grades, you need to actually earn them.

I'm alive!

2010-06-11T08:16:00.000-07:00

Everything went well yesterday. I filled out my papers, and only freaked a little when they asked about a living will. I got decked out in my fancy gear:

Bud had actually brought the camera to take crappy pictures of me. So sweet. But he waited on me hand and foot for the rest of the day so still a win for me.

I had nine injections, which the nurse thought was a lot. I was knocked out so that part was good. Then I did my usual coming out of anesthetic and raving about the awesome juice box. Best Juice EVAH. I ask them to write down the brand names. (generic) Then I laugh because I realize it is only the drugs that make every thing so awesome and tasty. I top my excellent behavior with telling all the nurses that I have never tried drugs so this is why I am so shocked at the tastyness of all the food. I bet those folks get lots of good stories.

When I downloaded pictures this morning I was surprised to see this one. I don't remember it at all.

Bud told the kids about the injections when we dropped them off at mom's house. He just told them I was getting shots in my neck and Owen lost it. It took 10 minutes to calm him down, he was weeping and really freaked out. Maddie seemed oblivious. When we got home I called Owen and told him I was ok and was "alrighty then, I got some swimming to do talk to you later". When Maddie got home she climbed on the couch with me and snuggled for 45 minutes, which she never does, she is not snuggly. So it was interesting to see how they each handled the situation. Of course Ellie is so self centered she didn't even notice. Babies!

Oh Hey

2010-06-09T22:34:00.000-07:00

Look where I haven't been for awhile. I have lots of fun stories, but they will have to wait. (Being called a bitch by a parent, being unfriended on facebook)

Tomorrow I am having steroid injections into my spine. Well, the neck part of my spine. I am a bit terrified. I have had three epidurals, which is kind of the same, but you feel like you are dying then anyway so it is a bit different. This will hopefully help with all the pain and the headaches.

So anyway I will post tomorrow, if I am not paralyzed, or you know dead. Which probably never happens, but I am kind of clumsy and weird shit happens right?

Two Weeks in Pictures

2010-05-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

Ellie had her first birthday! She enjoyed her spaghetti dinner, more than she enjoyed her first cake. Her siblings and cousins were excited to help blow out candles. And eat cake.

Owen had his party, sadly I don't have many pictures of him because I was in the kitchen the entire time. But this was his cake. I thought it turned out pretty well, a few things I would do differently next time, but overall it is how I pictured in my head.

See the happy family? Notice the look on Maddie's face and my grip on her shoulder? Good times.

Now I am planning Maddie's Hello Kitty party.

How Much Longer

2010-04-26T14:32:00.000-07:00

Before Milkthaw Debacle 2010 Bud asked how much longer I was planning to nurse Ellie. I really don't know. I hadn't given it much thought until he asked. This is the last baby, when she weans, this is the end of nursing forever, and I am not really sure how I feel about it.

In 2001 my best friend had her son, I remember talking on the phone while she cried about breastfeeding. It wasn't working out and she was devastated. I really couldn't understand the big deal, I mean, there was formula, not like he was going to starve. I bet $20 I could call her on the phone and get her crying about now, 9 years later. I was sympathetic, but had no idea how to comfort her.

Two years later, I was about to give birth and Bud and I were dead broke. We had to decide each month which bills were going to get paid late. Bud was finishing his student teaching, he was hired for the next school year, which didn't start for another 4 months. I knew we needed to conserve every penny, so I figured I would try breastfeeding, I had never pictured myself nursing, and only planned to do it for 6-8 weeks, then the free formula we got should get us to Bud's first real paycheck.

Bud and I took the classes, and rolled our eyes at the "breast-nazis". I heard the discussions of increasing supply with fenugreek, and oatmeal. Eye Roll. When Owen was born I was exhausted. I had only had about 4 hours sleep the night before and it was now 2am the next day. The nurse was trying to get him latched on, and he wasn't cooperating. I was laying in bed rubbing ice on my ni**les to get him to latch. Finally, the nurse ordered me to sleep and Bud to give Owen a bottle. She promised me it wouldn't ruin the whole nursing thing and she would personally make it work, once I had some sleep. The next day Owen and I worked through the whole latching, I had the usual misgiving about is he getting anything. We went home and I was still not sure my boobs were doing anything. Until they suddenly got all hot and tingly, and tripled in size in about 20 minutes. Holy Heck. Anyway, I was in pain, the usual chafing and whatnot. We hadn't worried about a breast pump because the plan was 6 weeks or so. Luckily a friend was done with hers and lent it to me. (I know, single user, whatever, we didn't have money for a movie rental)

When Owen was 4 weeks old, I suddenly developed a high fever, chills, stabbing breast pain. So off to the urgent care I trudged. I knew it was mastitis, and I prayed the whole way the doctor would tell me to quit nursing. I figured I wouldn't have to feel guilty that way. Of course the doctor told me there was no way I could quit now! That would make it worse. Eventually my sensitive parts toughened up. I found I didn't hate the nursing, it was ok. Then we went back east to visit family, our flight at one airport was delayed for 5 hours, and I didn't have to panic about what he was going to eat. I just found a quiet corner of the airport and fed him whenever I needed. No matter what I had forgotten in the diaper bag, his food was always there, with me.

So, I extended the deadline to 3 or 4 months, I didn't think pumping at work would be pleasant. But it was ok, so the deadline was bumped to 6 months. Finally, at 6 months I stopped making deadlines. When Owen was 10 months I got the flu and my supply dropped a lot. So I made a bottle of formula, and he gagged. He wouldn't drink it, no matter what we tried. So, I bought fenugreek, and made oatmeal cookies. I gave away the $400 or so of free formula I had acquired and hunkered down for the next two months. A few weeks after his first birthday, he weaned on his own, and I cried.

When I had Maddie, I figured I would see how it went, but I would use formula if we needed it, and not stress myself. Well, Maddie was not a fan of the bottle. Lupe use to spoon feed her the milk. (yes she is a saint) So we never bothered trying the formula. The morning of her first birthday Maddie refused to nurse any more. I cried.

With Ellie, I knew a year would go fast, I had done the nursing and pumping at work twice before and figured I could handle it again. Once we found out she had a dairy allergy, it confirmed what I had already planned. Now as we near the one year mark, I wonder, will she wean herself like the other two? She is definitely more distracted, and less willing to spend time nursing. I feel pretty sure I will cry again.

If someone had told me that I would end up nursing 3 children for a year each, I would have laughed at you. Or possibly cried, this was not the mother I expected to be. Not that it is any better or worse than the mother I thought I would be.... just different. I use to think people who nursed for a year or longer were "caraazzeeeee", I wonder what other things will be different than I expect?

PS. I have no judgements about how others feed their children. Unless you give them Popsicles at 2 months, I am pretty sure you are doing a great job. And hey, I could be totally wrong on the Popsicles.

Freezer Fail

2010-04-18T15:35:00.000-07:00

Mom just called to tell me her freezer stopped working. She isn't sure when, but everything is warm, including 50 bags of breastmilk I was storing there. I keep crying about it, I know I have to just suck it up, but damn. Since I was sick last week my supply has gone to hell, so I have been supplementing with a frozen bottle once a day, along with the usual bottles to day care. Then I was pumping before bed to try to get the supply up a bit. Then my power cord for my pump died, and we haven't been able to get a replacement* yet. We have enough to get through her birthday, but with the dairy allergy I wanted her to have enough for her cereal for awhile. I think it would help if I knew she would be fine with dairy. Once she weans, that will be the end of milk for her, unless she outgrows the allergy. I just picture her whole life without milk, and the only milk she could have was ruined.

*I know you can get the power cord on amazon, but it quit on Wednesday. I didn't want to wait for it to be shipped, figuring we could find some other adapter at radio shack. It is now Sunday and I still haven't found one. Amazon is laughing at me.

VomitFest 2010

2010-04-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

You know the week is off to a good start when your 3 year old comes running into your classroom. Bud had to go pick her up from daycare because she threw up, he figured she could hang out with him in his room for then next hour, then I was done for the day and could take her home. It was my turn to take a sick day for a sick kid, so I got my lesson plans done for the next day. While I was finishing up, Maddie was puking into my trash can. Awesome.

Also awesome??? Driving home and hearing "I need to throw up". It is super hard to pull over fast and get a kid out of the car seat before vomiting ensues. There should be some sort of emergency ejection button. Anyway, we got home and I got her settled on the couch with a bucket, when WHAM, it hit me and I started throwing up. Yay. At least I already had a sub planned. So Maddie and I took turns puking until Bud got home. Then I went upstairs to vomit in peace. Sadly, we couldn't keep anything down, but we were so so thirsty.

The next morning Bud went and got us our favorite gatorade ( fierce grape, the others taste like crap) at 6 am. When he returned he informed me he had spent good amount of time in the bathroom at the store. Three hours later he was home from work. So two sick parents, one sick child, two other kids who don't give a shit how bad anyone feels, they want dinner.

Sadly, all the dehydration seems to have taken a toll on the milk supply. I haven't pumped at work since mid-February, because I had well over 200 frozen bags in the freezer. Luckily, this has made it possible to just supplement with the frozen stash. However, giving a bottle is a pain in the ass. You don't have a free hand for reading the internet. Or change the channel, or throw things at the cat the insists on caterwauling while you get the baby to sleep.

Getaway

2010-04-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

With spring break Bud and I decided we should get a bit of couple time. Mom was willing to watch the kids so Bud made reservations at a local resort for one night. We went to dinner and walked around some shops and mostly got to vistit with each other. Good news: We still like each other and have stuff in common.

But the whole thing was kind of spur of the moment so I forgot to pack:

Shampoo
Conditioner
Comb (seriously)
Moisturizer (my face was so so dry)
Socks ( luckily I brought twelvety hundred pairs of shoes that required socks)

And also my sense of humor/youth. The people next to us were so loud. Apparently when you are 22 you don't need to sleep, ever. At 12:30 we finally called downstairs because of the loud music. This had no effect. At 2:30 we called again, and again didn't seem to bother them. It was frustrating because we just wanted to get some sleep, luckily we finally fell asleep about 3 am, and we slept until 9:30. So it was about the same amount of sleep we get here. Oh well we still had fun. And it is good to know we are THOSE people who will call security on your ass when you are too loud. Officially we are old. I had suspected this.

What???

2010-03-22T20:38:00.000-07:00

Does this look like the face of someone who won't sleep???

Maybe this will help her to sleep better? Would that be wrong? Maybe I should drink it!

Or maybe if I buy more of it for Bud I can run away for a day and get some sleep.

Vanishing

2010-03-18T20:19:00.000-07:00

The last month or so has been brutal.

Sleep

-Ellie has been sleep for shit the last few weeks. Two nights last week she was up from 9:30 to 1:30, not cool. In the past we were able to just lay her down at night and she would go to sleep on her own. Not anymore. Now I have to hold her til she falls asleep, I know I shouldn't but some times you do what you gotta do.

-Even if Ellie is sleeping, I am awake for hours every night. Just can't sleep, until 20 minutes before my alarm goes off.

- Why is it if you go a few nights without sleep couples must fight???

Sickness

- Ellie had some viral thing with an awesome fever.

- The following week Maddie has a double ear infection and pink eye.

-The week after that I had to leave work early to pick up Owen because he had a fever.

-Bud and I can't get sick because we need all our days for the kids.

Health

-Ha Ha...

Work

- The quarter ends next week and I have piles of grading to do before then.

- People in my department have been talking behind my back about me doing a shitty job this year. Which I have, so I need to get my self together.

Misc.

-My license is expired, to renew I have to get all these documents together. So I need to order a marriage license from my first marriage I really tried to block it out, now I have to pay money for documentation. Fuck

Sleepless in Blogland

2010-03-07T23:47:00.000-08:00

Guess which child is currently not sleeping????? Yes, it is Ellie. I just finished my homework for my last quilting class. Here are a few thoughts...

Oobi = baby crack

Sinus headaches for 3 days = suck

Expired Drivers license = No Sudafed

Meth addicts = Assholes

Assholes = Win

by the transitive property Meth addicts = win

Zee on Nick Jr. = Love

Sleep = Never gonna happen.

Karma truly hates me

2010-02-19T19:31:00.000-08:00

So this morning after waiting in the stage guest area we were herded out to the stage, and they were short 4 seats. I don't know what happened, but we got bumped. I can't tell you how bitterly disappointed I am. We got to sit in the second row, but we missed out on an opportunity of a lifetime.

OMG

2010-02-18T22:14:00.000-08:00

So, not to be all braggity because as we know karma is watching, but tomorrow is going to be awesome. The President will be at my school, and I will be on stage for the town hall meeting. Holy cow. I have know idea what I will wear. No matter political affiliation I think it is pretty cool. Ok, must look through closet for 100003475 jillionth time.

Karma is a bitch, with time on her hands

2010-02-11T11:42:00.000-08:00

Tuesday night we went to dinner for a school function. We brought all the kids, and Ellie was stuck in her car seat the whole time. She ate her dinner, and smiled at everyone. People kept commenting on what an awesome baby she is. I kept telling them to keep their voices down, but the universe heard them.
Ellie was awake from 11:30 to 2:15, I have to be up at 5:00 so work was full of awesomeness yesterday. We had a feeling daycare would call, and sure enough Bud had to pick her up during lunch. We played pass the baby for the last 2 class periods. Today I am home with her. Next time people say she is a good baby, I will put up fight.
So a heads up, karma does not have a long to do list, she will kick you in the ass, ASAP.

2010-02-03T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of my four week quilting class. At the end of the class I should have an actual quilt. I don't know how big it will end up being, but it will be a quilt. This is the first square. I need to make four more of these, and then next class we will make a different square.

I love the fabrics, I don't know what I like better, the dark purple or the paisley. I have done pretty well with the sewing machine. I haven't used one in 25 years, but it is pretty easy to use. I am surprised at how well it is going, it is not as complex as I thought than I expected. Their is a lot of Geometry, so I keep trying to see if I can come up with a lesson that would incorporate the quilting. I have lots of homework to do before the next class.

First Class Update

2010-02-02T21:25:00.000-08:00

Here it is, my first quilt square:

This took me 2.5 hours. So an actual quilt would take maybe 50 hours? The fabric will cost $50. It may be smarter to go to target and buy a quilt on clearance. Either way, I am happy with it.

First Day Jitters

2010-02-01T21:03:00.000-08:00

I started gathering my quilting supplies tonight. I can't believe all the stuff I have had to buy for this class. I am taking a basic class tomorrow night, it is just a 2.5 hour session. The actual class is on Wednesday.

On Saturday I met my SIL Vicki at the fabric store to pick out some more stuff on the equipment list and get the fabric. I am getting all the equipment in dribs and drabs so I can use the 50% off coupons in the paper. Anyway, we spent 2.5 hours trying to find the fabric we wanted. We need a total of five fabrics, one for the back, one background and then the three main fabrics. We kept finding 2 that looked great, but finding a third to coordinate was a nightmare. These are the three I went with:

I love purple, and Maddie's favorite color is also purple. If it turns out ok, she can use it in her room. I really like the paisley, it is a bit out of my usual range, but I think that is what I like about it.

The last few weeks have been busy. My dad is coming to town later this week, and we have been busy with our after school activity. It is like a qu!z bowl competition team, and we have been involved in our playoff matches. We are in the championship match this week on top of me having two quilting classes. We are also trying to get to the school play this week, we have heard good things and we both have a lot of students involved. Oh well, it seems every week is hectic and I should just get used to it, and stop complaining.

I May Be An Old Lady

2010-01-24T21:17:00.000-08:00

I finally got around to taking my gift from Bud out of the box today. He got me a sewing machine, I haven't used one since I was in Home Ec in 8th grade. He got it for me because my mom signed me and my sister - in - law up for a quilting class, and you need to have a sewing machine.
I am really nervous about this class, as I recall from 8th grade, I'm not so good with sewing. There was thread flying everywhere, getting all tangled up, and the bobbin would fall out. Sometimes the thing would go really fast, then slow down, then speed up, it was all crazy. So, I am pretty sure that this class will go awesome. I took out the manual, and I don't even understand half the words. There are a lot of buttons and lights and I am pretty sure I am going to sew my fingers together. ( Don't doubt my powers, I once stapled the middle of my hand)
This week I will have to find time to go buy the fabric, I am excited about that part because, fabric= pretty. I am sure I will be overwhelmed by the number of options and find three fabrics that are completely uncoordinated, much like myself.

Accessories?? Check

2010-01-15T21:36:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when a 6 year old boy helps his sister accessorize her hair.

Worth a Thousand Words

2010-01-03T19:43:00.000-08:00

Swine flu? To much to drink for NYE? Tired of hearing about health care reform? Why would this baby be napping over a bowl?

Well, the allergy fairies are biting us in the asses. With dairy....WTF? Dairy? That's not even funny.

Back in August Bud gave Ellie one of those wee bottles of formula that they give you at the hospital. A few hours later she started vomiting, a lot. She kept it up at 10 minute intervals for about 3 hours. We thought maybe the formula was bad, or just hard on her belly. Then a few days before Christmas I gave her some of that new baby yogurt. Then, because I am extra smart I put her down for a nap. She woke up an hour later covered in vomit. I freaked the hell out because my mom's baby brother died at 4 months from suffocating on spit up. (my mom was the one to find him, she was 8). So Bud held Ellie over the sink for 3 hours puking every 6 minutes. I sat in the corner freaking out about how I could have killed her with the damn yogurt.

Anywho, we put 2 and 2 together and figured she must have a dairy allergy. Then last week I gave her some baby cookies that she loved. Then I looked at the label and notice the 5th ingredient??? Milk. I hoped since it was a minor ingredient, and baked it would be ok. But no! No! There was more changing of the sheets, more time over the sink. So this sucks. I hate reading labels. And I get the feeling Ellie hates throwing up.

So much of my time this week has been spent googling. And I am kind of freaking out. I don't know how to cook without cheese. My people are from the midwest, everything has cheese or sour cream or butter, or best case all three. She doesn't seem sensitive to me having dairy, so I have no idea how this will play out. I am hoping she grows out of it. But do we experiment every six months, and then apologize for the vomitfest?

We will address this with her pediatrician next month, but I know he will say we have to wait and see. He so doesn't know me, I need stats about the number of kids who outgrow it, at what age? I majored in math for god sake, give me some numbers and percents. He can make em up. Just don't tell me to wait and see.

I know there are some great (bullshit) options out there like soy milk, and (gag) rice milk or whatever. I'm sure as a family we can all pull together and become more healthy by exploring some of these other options and reworking many of our recipes. But..... that won't happen. I know us, we will just buy her the separate gross milk, I will make her a different bowl of mashed potatoes, and she will have frozen fruit sorbet while we have ice cream. She will feel like an outcast in her own family, with her labeled food in the fridge. She will resent us, and probably start dressing all goth and shit. We will remind her what a happy baby she was, and she will scream about us choosing the creamy goodness of dairy over her.

Or, you know, maybe she will grow out of it.

New Years Resolutions

2010-01-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! We spent a nice quiet evening at home, this has become our tradition, because we are also celebrating when we first met.

I don't usually do resolutions but I decided I would make a few this year. Some of the reasoning behind this I will write about soon.

1) Bud and I will socialize in some fashion at least once a month. This should ideally include non-family people. We used to have a large circle of friends, but one couple moved, another couple divorced and there was a lot of drama, and the rest just drifted away. We do have other friends, but we haven't made the time to hang with them much. So I will invite people here for dinner, or we will meet at a restaurant. I am assuming some of these people will probably invite us over so I won't have to do all the entertaining.

2) I will not micro-manage my children's craft projects. Christmas ornaments made by the children should actually be made by the children, without me telling them what colors to use, or where to put the colors. (or even worse me taking the ornaments and "helping" them)

3) I will buy a bike and learn to ride the damn thing. This terrifies me. I was never good at riding a bike as a kid. I ran into the mailbox and bruised my girly parts pretty badly on the bar, I ran into a fence (I don't know how), and once tied the dog to the handle bars and went for a ride. That was not one of my better plans. But as the kids get older I would like us to go on bike rides together. I don't want to be the mom staying at home while Bud is out with the kids. I don't want my girls growing up with that as an example. So I will swallow my fear, and my pride.

I will post pictures of the scabs!

Aren't Grandmas suppose to be nice?

2009-12-26T23:04:00.000-08:00

This week has been crazy. Christmas totally kicked my ass. And there was family drama, yippee. My uncle T has been struggling, 10 years ago he was assaulted and had severe bra!n damage. He was only given a 10% chance of survival. When he lived he was expected to mostly just sit and stare.

But he has recovered a lot, most people would just think he is a bit odd. He had the front lobe of his bra!n removed, so he makes a lot of poor choices. One of the poor choices was having a child, who is in the process of being removed from his custody. He is unable to maintain a job, he tried for many years, but just keeps getting fired. He refuses to tell people about his brain damage, so they think he is weird. I think he would have been better off being more open about this, but what do I know. The custody thing, I just don't know what to think, a lot of what we are being told doesn't make sense. My mom is heart broken for him, he is her baby brother.

Anyway, two days before Christmas his apartment building burned to the ground. So we have been scavenging closets and cabinets for stuff to help him out. My grandma immediately started telling us that her and her husband couldn't help him because they have no money. (they bought a $75,000 boat in August) My mom said she has some money set aside and maybe after the holidays a furniture store would have one of those deals for a couch and end tables for $700 and she could buy it for him. My grandmother's response? "No I want him to have nice furniture, not cheap stuff ". Who says that? Naturally, my mom was pissed. Not to be a jerk, but he lives in sect!on 8 housing, lives on disability and is losing his kid, does he really need the "best" furniture. He has nothing, I 'm pretty sure he is ok with sale stuff.

So, bottom line, my grandma sucks.

Odds and Ends

2009-12-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

My goodness I disappeared there for a few weeks. All sorts of crazy going on at work and at home.

Ellie got her first tooth the day before Thanksgiving. Owen and Maddie didn't get a tooth until they were 8 1/2 months so she is clearly way smarter than them. She also chose that day to finally start liking solids.
Thanksgiving was great, except for the screaming migraine I got just as dinner was served. So I ate quick and took a lortab and went to bed. Poor Bud had to clean up all by himself. But I had made enough mashed potatoes and gravy to last a week so that was awesome!
Not awesome? My monthly friend came back. I did not miss that bitch. I was hoping that it would hold off for a few more months, I even waited to give Ellie solids until she was 6 months. Oh, well.
We caught a group of students cheating and had to break up a whole ring cheating little asses. They are honors kids, so we were super frustrated with them. It created many hours of extra work, rewriting tests, giving new versions of exams.
I have many letters of recommendation to write, which sucks. I am terrible at writing letters, and when I have to write them for Yale and Harvard I get all nervous. It is very stressful.
Owen's teacher sent home a note today saying he went to the nurse's office today because he wasn't feeling well. He had no fever, but he seemed to struggle through the day. Does this mean we are suppose to keep him home? I don't think she knows he is a total hypochondriac. His stomach always hurts, he loves staying home sick. He does have a cough, but otherwise he runs around like normal. So I guess we will send him and feel like we are neglectful.

I still have some Christmas shopping to do. We don't know what to do about Ellie, technically I wouldn't bother giving her anything. But Owen and Maddie will be heartbroken if she doesn't get anything. So we are planning on finding stuff in the garage and wrapping it. Hopefully that will satisfy them.

How wrong?

2009-11-20T23:27:00.000-08:00

Is it wrong to tell the children, every time they fight, a puppy dies?

Signs your child is not quite "normal"

2009-11-16T17:56:00.000-08:00

This has been a difficult week. Ellie has been waking up a few times a night, she loses her pacifier and gets herself unwrapped. We are still swaddling her because she will pull the pacifier out and throw it across the room. You know that hysterical baby way they toss something, then realize, dude I totally want that. So if she is swaddled it takes longer for her to lose it. Which, when you are crawling under a crib feeling around for a clear pacifier, you want the longest interval possible. I don't even pretend to clean it off for her any more. A little dirt never hurt is my motto.

Which reminded me.... My family has always had a saying when you drop a fork, or pacifier or whatever " you have to eat a pound of dirt before you die". Which makes sense, why worry about every speck of dirt.

However, as a three year old I took this very differently. I thought it was more like a rule. I wondered what would happen if you didn't ingest enough dirt accidentally. What if I died young and hadn't eaten enough dirt? Would I be required to eat the remainder of the pound of dirt in one sitting? This concerned me quite a bit. So I decided the best course of action was to eat a spoon of dirt each day. This way, if I died at four or five I would have a head start on the bucket of dirt I was required to eat. I figured I would have to guess at how much dirt was in a pound, it sounded like a lot. I think I did this for a few weeks before my mom caught me. Then we had a long talk about figures of speech.

Notice how I never thought that if I never ate dirt I wouldn't die. Even at three that was a sort of optimism I couldn't even imagine. I don't know how I would respond to one of my kids explaining this thought process to me. A therapist? An exorcist? Sesame Street?

Bedtime Math

2009-11-04T20:53:00.000-08:00

Teething + 6 month shots + gas = the suck of all hell - any sleep for parents

Good times

Trick or Treat Success!

2009-11-01T08:28:00.001-08:00

And not a single person shit themselves!

Trick or Treat Fail

2009-10-31T12:45:00.000-07:00

I never had a store bought costume while growing up. My mom would pull out the sewing machine and dad would make accessories like light sabers and wings from wire hangers. I was a clown, Holly Hobby, and a train engineer (fun). When I was 5 one of mom's friends offered to fix me up as a gypsy. With veils, and scarves and EYELINER. Holy crap, I was excited. I couldn't wait, it was going to be the best Halloween ever.

But I was not quite a normal kid, and apparently the week of excitement over the whole thing took a toll. As dress up time approached, my excitement peaked and I..... suffered some "intestinal issues" and spent the whole evening in the bathroom, crying. What 5 year-old gets themselves so worked up over a costume? This was the first of many times my anticipation got the best of me. I bet I was the only bride to take a precautionary Imodium the day of my wedding.

Work? What Work?

2009-10-19T20:16:00.000-07:00

Blah, what a week, last week. Maddie has the fever on Tuesday and Wednesday. I stayed home with her on Tuesday and Bud took Wednesday. We got back to normal on Thursday, and Owen woke up at 5:00 am on Friday with a fever. So I was my turn again.

I hate missing work, it is more work to be gone than to be there. I took Owen in with me on Friday morning so I could put out lesson plans. My students get behind and it interrupts my flow. Parents start to get snippy if you are gone. We usually end up missing about 4 days each per year. Bud had a parent get all over him last year when he took off two days when Ellie was born. She sent nasty emails asking why it was ok for him to miss, but her daughter was penalized (make up work) if she was gone. Hmmmm, what could be the difference?

We are just hoping to keep Ellie from getting it, we have become obsessive hand-washers around here. I feel like I am scrubbing in every time I pick her up. But she makes it worth your while.

Awkward Moments #1

2009-10-13T10:35:00.000-07:00

I am home today with Maddie, she has a raging fever, red eyes and a raspy voice. Swine flu? Who knows, Bud is also starting to feel sick, so I am considering taking Ellie to my mom's for a few days to minimize her exposure to the germiness.

For some reason this week I remembered one of the most humiliating experiences of my life, so hey, why not share it?

When I was twelve my parents moved from a biggish city in CA for a tiny town, in a rural state. It was my dad's hometown, and his family is completely nuts. You know the people in Deliverance? they are like that. Seriously. I had an uncle in the same grade as me, and he was very, very weird. Weird like, if I posted a picture of him, you would be afraid his crazy mountain man eyes would see you through the computer screen, and he would find you and eat you. So I won't post a picture. (you're welcome)

Anyway it was tough to make friends when your family was freaky like that. Also I was awkward, and mostly a lot of the girls were bitches. At least that's how I remember it. I was very shy, and for some reason at the end of 8th grade I decided to force myself to do things that scared me. I tried out for a play, and ironically got the part of a very popular girl, ha ha, now that's acting. I also joined the dance team, for my freshman year. Most schools would have tryouts but this school was so small, they didn't have that luxury. I found out there is a reason for those tryouts people. Good reasons!

I practiced our first routine like crazy, I went to all the practices, I went to another girls house to practice. The days before the first performance I spent time practicing at home in front of my mom. (we didn't have tv, so she was happy for the distraction). Our first performance was at the first basketball game of the season. Basketball was huge in this town, everyone came to the games, even people who didn't have kids. There was no movie theater in town, what else were they going to do?

The morning of the big day I woke up sick, my mom gave me some NyQuil and told me to sleep it off. I hadn't taken much NyQuil in the past, and had no idea how it could mess a girl up. I slept for a long time that day. Then woke up in a fog in time to go to the game. Our uniforms were black leotards with white fringe! Sexay hot! We were told to get black nylons, so my dad had pick some up for me. I had never really worn panty hose before so imagine my surprise when I put them on in the dressing room an found that I was suppose to get sheer to waist! Girls were yelling at me that I couldn't wear those, luckily someone had an extra pair. We also were painting our faces half black and half white, naturally I did mine backwards.

So half-time starts and we head out in front of the crowd! The gym was packed, you could smell the boys who had just left the court, and the air was humid from the all the people. The music started and I.... couldn't remember a bit of the routine. I stood there, periodically I would try desperately to join in, but was always a full 8 counts behind everyone else. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

Back at the dressing room, the advisor yelled at me. I got dressed and went to wash my face. I sat in the bathroom crying for a long time. Then I decided I was NOT going back into the gym. My mom had come to the game to see me, so I figured I would wait outside by the car for her. Naturally, it was raining. So I sat in the pouring rain, on the ground, crying for the second half of the game. My mom had anticipated me wanting to leave, she was waiting inside by the door. Eventually, she figured that maybe she missed me go back in the gym, so she went in to watch the rest of the game. It took forever for her to find me.

She did inform the advisor that I had known the routine I just panicked. So for the rest of the year I was forced to practice each routine blindfolded a few times. I guess the theory was to make it so automatic that even if I freaked out, my body would take over. I must have learned them well, because for years if I was drunk and trying to impress a boy, I would totally start one of the dances. I am sure I looked totally cool, even without the fringe.

Empty(ish) Nest

2009-10-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

Bud is out on a daddy furlough this weekend, he is in Denver visiting his brother. They are going to the Cowboys/Broncos game today. This is also a chance for him to meet his niece. She was born the end of February, but she is smaller than Ellie. He left on Friday night and will get back on Monday afternoon.

My mom usually pick Owen and Maddie up on Saturday to take them to piano lessons, then has them spend the night. So this is a nice chance for me to get quality time with Ellie. She is five months old today, my last baby is five months old. We have had a nice day together, I enjoy being able to focus on her, especially since she seems to be teething. She has pooped out of 3 outfits in less than 24 hours, one was so bad I tossed it, so I guess I am focusing on her and her laundry.

I really wonder how single parents manage. This past week I had a kidney stone. If you are looking to spend 6 or 7 hours rolling around on your bed in excruciating pain, while trying to figure out how much lortab you can take without barfing, I totally recommend passing a kidney stone. Bud wanted to take me to the ER, but I am a pain in the ass and wouldn't go. My brother gets them all the time, and according to him, they give you an IV of fluids and pain meds. Well I can do that at home without waiting in a long line. (I can't do an IV obviously, but I can drink a lot and take my own pain stuff) Anyway it seems to have passed, but I kept thinking what would I have done if it had happened while Bud was out of town? What a suckfest that would have been.

Also, if Bud is gone I get totally paranoid. The weather has finally cooled here at night and we sleep with the windows open in our room, but not when he is gone. I am worried about someone breaking in, and also fire. I am scared shitless of fire y'all. When I was 8 my dad caught me climbing out my bedroom window, he started yelling at me for taking the screen out, until I explained I was practicing for a fire. I was even crawling from my bed to the window with my eyes closed in case it was dark during a fire. So....issues...I've got a bunch. Anyway, now I am terrified of not being able to get three kids out by myself. Last time Bud was out of town, we only had the two kids. I was outside at midnight one night figuring out if I could lower the kids from the patio cover outside our window. I have spent time finding different routes to get the kids out depending on where a fire might occur. Do other people do this or am I just completely nuts?

A Useful Project

2009-09-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

Remember when I mentioned Maddie had lost her kitty? Still no luck on finding another one. What kills me is knowing somewhere out there is a kitty sitting unused in some toybox. I know we have stuffed animals laying around our house and somewhere is a mother desperately trying to find one.

Then I thought "hey there should totally be a place where people can post pictures of animals they are looking for!". Apparently the internets are 10 steps ahead of me. What next? Buying stuff on the internet?

Anyway this website is pretty cool. You can send in a picture of what you are looking for, and maybe someone has it or has seen it online somewhere. I check every few days to see if I have anything that someone can use. I did have one stuffed animal, and I sent it off a few weeks ago. So if you have a bit of time, go take a look and see if you can help someone out. I will warn you some of the stories are a bit sad. Kids in hospitals and such. Those are the ones I would really like to see found.

Hot Lunch

2009-09-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

Dinner discussion:

Bud: Owen do you want to buy your lunch tomorrow? The menu is tacos, with an apple and a turnover.

Owen: What's a turnover?

Me: It is a crust with fruit inside.

Owen: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: Crust, pastry, dough with filling inside maybe apple, or some other fruit.

Owen: What?

Bud: LIKE A PIE! Do you want to buy lunch tomorrow or not?

Owen: Ok

Next day in the car:

Owen: Why didn't you guys tell me I was buying lunch today?

Bud:???????????

Bud: How was the turnover?

Owen: What?

Me: The turnover, how was it?

Owen: There wasn't a turnover.

Me: Then what did you have for dessert?

Owen: There wasn't a dessert.

Bud: There is always a dessert.

Owen: I don't know what you are saying.

Bud: grips steering wheel

Me: *kill me*

Owen: Hey, why didn't you guys tell me there was going to be pie?

Are all 6 year old boys like this? When does it end? Every conversation is like this, he just don't focus. I pity his future wife.

What a pain in the....

2009-09-13T14:29:00.000-07:00

My whole life I have had headaches. I was diagnosed with migraines when I was two. (I don't know how they diagnose that but whatever) I remember leaving my friends house one evening when I was suppose to spend the night because I had a migraine. They have varied in frequency depending on the amount of stress in my life. The last few years I haven't had many migraines. But I do still get wicked bad headaches. (Many people assume a really bad headache is a migraine.....but they are different).

When I had my six week check I mentioned to the doctor that I was getting headaches nearly every day. She told me to see my primary care doctor, which I told her for the last 6 years I have been pregnant or nursing, she IS my primary care doctor. Which she didn't find amusing, if I ever find a doctor with a sense of humor, I will never leave them. So I made an appointment with a new doctor and finally got in last week. Basically I feel like I am falling apart. I have scoliosis, which causes a lot of back and neck pain, which triggers many of my headaches. I also have the tummy troubles. Teaching is not the best profession when your intestines decide liquification is the best option. So I went to the doctor and described all my woes.

For the stomach she suggested probiotics, less fatty foods and GASP cut out my three beautiful Pepsi's each day. So she sucks. But maybe has a point. I love my soda, it is a bright spot in my day. I love the taste, the caffeine, but mostly the carbonation. So I need to find something bubbly, but less harmful to the belly. Sigh

For my head, she gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxant, which should reduce my neck and back caused headaches. I mentioned the breastfeeding and was surprised by her response. She was very "breastfeeding is nice, but you need to take care of yourself, and take medication that YOU need to feel good." Which is odd, because when you are pregnant doctors don't really give a shit about you, just the baby. So that was totally weird, but she did prescribe something that should be okay.

So I took one Friday night, and maybe went into a coma, Bud said he kept checking to see if I was still breathing. I didn't even wake up when Ellie woke up in the morning, Bud got up with her. I think I slept for 9 straight hours, which is amazing for me. I usually wake up a lot with my back hurting, or to go to the bathroom, or because I one of the children's breathing changed rhythm. Then I can't fall back to sleep, and I lay there for an hour or two. So the sleep was great but I don't think I can take them on school nights. Unless I got to bed at 8:00.

I didn't take one Saturday night and woke up this morning with a horrifying headache. I realized I only had one soda yesterday, so some of it was caffeine withdrawal. So I took a few excedrin migraine(worthless), took a nap, then I finally took part of a lortab (they make me sick so I only take half), and drank two Pepsi's (apparently pain in the head trumps pain in the belly)

Anyway, I am thankful I don't get migraines like my SIL. She starts projectile vomiting for hours. One afternoon she called me when one started. I got to her house 15 minutes later to take my nephew for her. She had left a trail of vomit throughout her house. I really wanted to be the awesome SIL who cleaned it all up for her so she wouldn't have to deal with it later. I really tried, but finally gave up, because it was bad and I figured my brother could handle it. She gets them once or twice a month, she has tried a variety of medications, but hasn't had a ton of luck. So I count myself lucky.

Perspective

2009-09-02T21:51:00.000-07:00

It's funny reading comments on the last post. I started by saying that being back at work was killing me, but thinking about it made me realize it is Bud and I being back at work that is killing me. All three of my kids are born in May, which means that after a few weeks Bud has been home with me.

All summer I have read blogs of many awesome ladies who had also recently had a third baby (is three the new two kids?). I spent all that time wondering how the heck ya'll do it without your husband at home. How do you wrangle two older kids and tend a baby? I had it easy because Bud and I could switch off, one baby equals two older kids. Even during June when he was finishing his masters I could still run and shower and not wonder if the kids would burn the house down. If one kid kept me awake, I could sleep in and he could get up with the kids. Very few mothers have that luxury.

If I stayed home the schedule wouldn't change that much. I would take the two girls with me to drop Owen off at school, I would still need to get them ready to get out the door. Then we would probably head somewhere to run errands or something. Then home for lunch and naps. Then pick up Owen and the rest of the evening would be the same. I wouldn't need to pump, but we wouldn't be able to afford the cleaning lady. ( which I am kind of embarrassed about having, it seems snooty, and lazy and pathetic) So I would have to spend more of my time cleaning. Plus I am guessing Bud would not help as much.

Work is the easy part of my day. Teenagers are fun, I love my job. Financially, I have to have a job, I am lucky enough that I have one that is fun. It also gives me the opportunity to spend more time with my family than most other professions. I frequently wish I could stay home, but I don't know that I would do that great of a job. I am not good about doing "kid stuff". Bud is always the one to suggest going to a museum, or park(I'm not an outside girl), or a movie. When he stays home with a sick kid, the house is cleaner, dinner is done and the tv is off.

Anyway, I know we will find better systems to make things run more smoothly. I need to let go of my dinner expectations. I really hate take-out, so I attempt to cook full on meals everynight. I need to let Bud cook two nights a week and stop being a control freak. Soup and sandwiches is a perfectly acceptable mid-week dinner. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy, more of a weekend dinner.

Where does the time go?

2009-08-31T21:26:00.000-07:00

Being back at work is totally kicking my arse. It takes a few weeks to get back up to speed, and each year I question if it is even possible. Owen is at a new school, and is in a before school program since his school starts an hour and a half after we need to be to work. Maddie and Ellie's daycare provider was out of town for the last three days, so we had to take them to our daycare lady's DIL (also does daycare). Ellie didn't care but Maddie was freaked out the first day. ( Owen informed us he didn't "feel good about leaving Ellie in a strange place, what if one of the kids hurt her. Now that they are done, he feels bad for thinking the DIL couldn't handle it. He was born with ingrained guilt. Sweet.)

Here is how our day looks

3:00-5:00 give Ellie her pacifier 1 to 739 times (her awesomeness seems to have gone to hell)
5:00 wake up/ get up if I am awake from pacifier duty
5:00 - 5:40 shower, makeup, hair find clothes that fit
5:40 -6:45 pack up milk for Ellie, feed and dress Ellie, pump, nag at Owen and Maddie to hurry
(Bud does lunches for us and Owen, gets kids breakfast, fixes a bagel for me, loads car and helps nag)
6:45 leave house
7:00 leave driveway (I don't know what happens, there is a time zone shift)
7:10 Drop off Ellie and Maddie
7:20 Drop off Owen
7:30 -3:10 Work ( pumping during lunch, eating with one hand)
3:20 Pick up Maddie and Ellie
3:35 pick up Owen
4:00-5:15 fix dinner, feed Ellie, throw in laundry, yell at kids for fighting (Bud helping w/everything but the feeding)
5:15 - 5:45 Dinner
5:45 - 7:30 Owen's homework, piano lessons (both me), Maddie's "homework and piano lessons"and cleaning kitchen (Bud), trying to eat feet(Ellie), throwing up on carpet(cats), baths, more laundry
7:30-8:00 Owen and Maddie jammies, teeth, lay out clothes for the next day, put away laundry, bedtime stories(usually Bud)
8:00-8:45 Ellie bath, jammies, thank God no teeth, feed
8:45-10:00 pick up house, make stuff ready for the next day, look at lesson plans for next day, pump (both of us for everything but pumping)
10:00 weep and go to bed.

The only thing saving my sanity at this point is that we have someone come every other week and clean. Thank goodness Bud actually does his fair share or I would never sleep. I am hoping I will get into a better groove soon I haven't been able to comment on other blogs the way I would like. I am still reading, during night time pumping.

Lippy

2009-08-23T05:38:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned before my nickname was Lippy in my younger days. (now it's just bitch, whatever) I decided to tell the story of how I got the nickname.

A little back story. My best friend V is a year older than me, and when I was 17 she dated a guy who was a few years older, we will call him Not a Nice Guy, aw screw it let's call him Ass. She liked him but after a month or two she found out he was seeing someone else as well, we will call her Stupid. My friend was bummed and irritated, but they weren't serious, so what can ya do?

Fast forward a couple weeks and Stupid and her sister Skank were hired to work at the same place V and I worked. Fun times. Anywho, V was also friends with Ass's roommate, that's they met, so she would hang out with Roommate occasionally. Now Roommate was older and could buy booze, yay Roommate, way to be over 21.

So one evening we were hanging out at Roommates place drinking. Then Ass came home with Stupid, at first it was awkward, but V really didn't care. So a fun time was had by all.......until more drinking had been done. Suddenly, Ass started saying we needed to leave. I wanted to go anyway, so V started trying to round up the other girl who came with. I put my coat on and waited on the couch. As got more and more adamant about us getting out, I explained we were leaving pronto, but he just got more and more agitated about it being his house. I, reasonably, pointed out that it was also Roommates place too.

Ass went crazy, he stormed over to where I was sitting on the couch, picked me up at threw me across the room, into the wall. Now, my dad was an alcoholic asshole while I was growing up. Emotional abuse was not unheard of, but physical......no. I expected Ass to feel like, an Ass, so I turned to yell it him. But he was coming at me with his fists. So I turned and got the hell out. I had bruises across my chest which was impressive, since I had a winter coat on as cushioning.

V was totally freaking out, we considered calling the police, but since there was underage drinking on our parts we were afraid to. We went to a bar that had after drinking hours dancing, and we ran into Stupid's sister Skank and another sister. We immediately told Skank what happened and that we were concerned about Stupid, since obviously he was not right in the head. Also Stupid had a 2 year old, and that didn't seem like a good situation. Well, Skank informed us, that she was only getting one side and I maybe deserved it. Funny, at the time I was offended, but now I see that maybe the way they were raised was really messed up.

We ran into other friends of ours and naturally started talking about what happened. Skank got really pissed and told me I was spreading rumors, and better shut up. Well, it was on. I was sarcastic at a very early age, and was particularly drunk that night. So I started mouthing off to her. V was standing in between, trying to smooth things over, and just when everyone would calm down, I would peek over her shoulder and throw another witty barb at them. V would try not to laugh, and work to chill them out again. This went on for quite some time, at one point Skank reached over V and punched me, in mah face. Sadly, I was so drunk I had to ask people around me if I was punched. I really wanted to beat the hell out of Skank, but eventually V got me out of there.

A few months later, Ass went after Stupid, surprise. And then Stupid and Skank could see how right we were. We all became friendly, and Stupid and Skank started nicely calling me Lippy, as opposed to calling me Lippy little bitch which is what they had been calling me.

In retrospect, I would have told my dad what happened. He would have been pissed that I was drinking, but he would have gone and kicked the shit out of the Ass. I also learned that night that you can make fun of stupid people without them even realizing it half the time. And sometimes girls will put up with crap they really shouldn't and that is scary.

Written out this story seems a lot less funny than I remember it.

Seven Years

2009-08-16T21:42:00.001-07:00

7 years
2 houses bought
1 house sold
3 cats
0 dogs
13 rooms painted
1 bachelor's degree
2 master's degrees
1 transmission
1 radiator
2 starters
4 car batteries
1 new minivan
3 positive pregnancy tests
2 obstetricians
2 high risk doctors
1 day in November
3 days in May
3 beautiful kids
200 sleepless nights
3 bouts of croup
4 barfing flus
80247 poopy diapers
1 first day of Kindergarten
a lot of joy
a little heartbreak
a bunch of fear
hours of laughter
more love than I ever imagined

Where will the next seven take us? Happy Anniversary babe!

Third Wheel

2009-08-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

Ellie is an awesome baby. She has been sleeping pretty well at night, most nights she is in bed by 9:00 and usually doesn't wake up until 5:00. She has even been able to go to sleep on her own. At night I set her in her bassinet with her pacifier and she will usually fall asleep on her own. She will also doze off in this chair , which Bud and I call the magic chair.

So Ellie is pretty easy at this point. Not easy is Maddie. I have am kind at my wits end with her. When Owen was this age and Maddie was born it didn't seem to affect him at all. However Ellie seems to have ruined the Maddie I have known and loved. She has constant tantrums, nothing makes her happy and she is very mad at us, particularly me.

On the one hand I can really sympathize with her. She sees Owen doing all these big kid things like reading and going to school. She sees Ellie getting all sorts of attention and cuddles. And she seems to be somewhere in between. I use to laugh at the whole middle child thing, I figured everyone has it hard in some way. I am starting to see that it may be a bit tough to be the middle kid.

However, this doesn't excuse her behavior. She sometimes hugs Ellie, reaaallly hard, or gahh has pinched her cheeks, and once slapped her on the head. She has gone after Owen with the plastic golf clubs, which occasionally he has deserved. Any little thing will set her off, she starts screaming, thrashing and kicking. We have done lots of time outs, we have sent her to her room, I am thinking an exorcism is in order.

Last week was really bad. My mom has been very silently disaproving the way we talk about Maddie being a beyotch. She thinks Maddie is a total angel and can do virtually no wrong. Then last week Maddie pitched a total fit when mom was here. Mom made a comment about there being no consequences for her acting up. Which isn't true, however Maddie had spent the night at moms house and got to sleep late and she had also been given a lot of candy. Sometimes it isn't worth having a knock down drag out with a three year old.

I just don't know how to walk the line of helping her through the transition and maintaining discipline. Dude, parenting is hard sometimes. Plus, I spend a lot of time with teenagers, some of whom are very messed up and I wonder where did things go wrong? Will Ellie's birth mark the down hill slide for Maddie? Will she end up pregnant, on drugs and drop out of school because I wanted another baby? Or because I didn't handle everything properly? Which lead to much weeping on my part last week. Then I started thinking maybe I should just run away with Ellie, so Owen and Maddie can have their old lives back. Which made me start to think I may be having some post partum issues. I was talking to Bud and my mom about it, and they both think I should mention it to my doctor. I will, but just realizing that maybe my parenting decisions today won't condemn Maddie to a life of deliquency is pretty helpful.

Woo, this has rambled on alot. Any advice on dealing with a three year old would be great. By the way three year olds are way worse than the two's aren't they?

Tough Act to Follow

2009-08-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

For those of you who were impressed with these mushrooms I made, check this out:

That is a cake made by my sister in law. And no she isn't a professional. I took a bunch of pictures, my mom freaked out when SIL started cutting it up. She really is talented. She is also an engineer, which maybe helps. I really need to step up my game. Thanks Vicki (bitch).

P.S. I really do love her. And yes the whole thing is cake and fondant. I did help, I lent her my fondant roller.

In Sickness and Health The Finale

2009-08-02T05:53:00.000-07:00

So I spent Saturday morning waiting for some test to be done and for my doctor to release me. In the meantime the nurse came by with pain medication. She brought liquid lortab, which I can't take because it makes me throw up. Now I'm not a doctor, I don't play one on tv and I didn't even sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I don't think throwing up is a good way to keep a cauterized throat from bleeding some more. When I told her that it would make me sick she offered crackers to settle my stomach. Yeah, 90 minutes of throat cauterizing, I'm sure a few packets of Saltines would really hit the spot. I explain all I could take was demerol and morphine. She called my doctor and came back to inform me it would have to be in shot form...like it was a punishment or something. Okey dokey.

Finally a blood person showed up to do a crazy test. The cut your arm and dab the blood every 30 seconds to see how long it takes for you to stop bleeding. She gave the range of average times and said that they kind of give up after 9 minutes. Sure enough nine minutes later I was still bleeding. She took some blood for testing and left. Mom and Bud were out getting a bite to eat, thus I didn't have anyone in the room with me who was coherent. I forgot to ask how I would get the results.

My doctor came in and I was expecting to be released, but he wanted to have me stay another night. Gahhhhh. I really don't like hospitals, and it was depressing. They don't have a wing for crazy complications so I was in the orthopedic surgery recovery area. The nurses didn't know what the heck to do with me. When my mom said she was visiting her daughter they tried to send her to maternity. Because when you are 31 you should be having babies, not tonsil problems.

Months prior to the debacle my brother got my mom tickets to Paul McCartney, I was suppose to go with her, but as luck would have it that was the day I was in the hospital. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to go, even before the doctor said I had to stay another night. So it was decided Bud would go with my mom. Their only concern was me being left alone in the hospital. My brother and almost SIL came to the hospital to sit with me. In my family you are not allowed to be sick or in the hospital by yourself to get rest, you must have constant companionship.

Now at this point Bud had only had 4 hours of sleep in the last 60 or so hours, and my mom had not slept all of friday night either. So they went to the concert and got lost on the way back to my moms. They were at a stop sign and had no idea which way to turn. They were one block from her house. They had to drive around for a while before finding it.

The next morning I was finally released. That night I started throwing up again! I used the trash can, and Bud picked through the trash to happily announce that there was no blood. For some reason I kept throwing up for a few weeks. I was in the bathroom peeing at one point and coughed, next thing I know the door is open and Bud was asking if I was ok. The whole thing really traumatized him. They never really figured out what the problem was, there was speculation about some ibuprofen I took for cramps. Who knows? I have never had problems since. I think my doctor was also traumatized, he said he had never seen anything like that in the 27 years he had been in practice.

It took me a few months to feel back to my old self. It took me even longer to gain back all the weight I lost, I had to wait until the last possible week to have my wedding dress fitted because I didn't want to it to be fitted when I had lost 15 or 20 pounds that I needed to gain back. Even with all that trouble I would still have chosen to have them taken out. When they were removed my doctor found a lot of dead tissue so they would have kept causing a lot of problems. I stopped getting sick as often once the tonsils were out.

But the biggest thing for me was seeing how Bud took care of me. It was so great knowing I was marrying someone who would take care of me, no matter how gross and nasty I was. It was the first time since I was a little girl that I could completely let myself go and know that he would handle everything. He gave me a sponge bath in the hospital so the nurse didn't have to, he held my hair when I threw up, he picked up prescriptions at the store, carried the TV up and down stairs depending on where I wanted to lay, he called my sub and coworkers everyday to make sure my students would have productive work each day. Knowing I would grow old with someone who would always be there for me was worth every bit of pain and suffering.

In Sickness and Health Part 2 b

2009-07-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

So for the second night in a row we were heading out of the house late at night with a bucket. Bud had only slept about 4 hours in the last 36 hours. The hospital was in an unfamiliar part of town for us, and the area wasn't well lit, we could see the ER doors but couldn't figure out how to drive up to them. I was calm but Bud was freaking out (a preview to drives to the hospital in labor) so he opted to 4 wheel through the empty lots rather than drive around anymore.

My doctor had called ahead so as soon as we walked in the intake people sat us down to sign papers. While I was filling out paperwork my doctor came in the door, gave me a hug and informed me the "team" was on the way. I had a team! It was very comforting, and the fastest I have ever been through the ER. The dr informed the front desk Bud could finish my paper work and he took me back to prep for surgery. I was immediately changed into a gown and given a (terrible) IV. ( I am a total wimp about IV's.) We took this opportunity to call my mom and brother to let them know what was going on. My dr said the surgery would probably take 20 minutes, so Bud told my mom it was up to her if she wanted to come. It was 1:00 am by this point and she doesn't like to drive.

I was wheeled off to the OR, the anesthesiologist took one look at my IV and asked "who the hell did this to her arm?". He patted me on the arm and said "don't worry honey, I will fix this for you." I don't normally enjoy people being all patty, and huggy and calling me terms of affection, but in this case it was really reassuring. Then they started the drugs and the nurse told me to count back from 100 and put the palms of her hands on my neck and pressed down. Just before passing out I thought, damn they are in some kind of hurry.

When I woke up I begged for some carmex for my super dry lips. That is my tip for anyone going to the hospital, take carmex. The nurses slapped a ton on me and I loved them. I saw Bud and mom on my way to the room, they each held my hand for a minute, but weren't allowed in my room because it was the middle of the night. I kept waking up the rest of the night and would see one of the two of them peeking in my door to check on me. I found out later that they avoided looking at a clock during the surgery, finally when they did look they realized I had been in surgery for 90 minutes. Shortly after that my dr came out and told them I had 13 spots in my throat that were bleeding. The would cauterize one spot and move on to another, then another would start up again. Finally, after an hour and a half they got all but one to stop. The decision was to wake me up, and keep me from having any food or liquid for 6 days. Ok, maybe it was just five hours. But I had been drinking 12-15 bottles of water each day. That was the longest thirstiest 5 hours of my life. They gave me some of those damp spongey things to suck on, but those were no relief. I was told I would go through a few tests the next day.

In Sickness and Health Part 2 a

2009-07-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

This should really be labeled Part 1/2 but whatever. For as long as I can remember I have had a lot of problems with my tonsils. When I was little they wanted to take them out, but my parents didn't have the money or insurance. (what it was the 70's). So I was just stuck with them. The summer of 2001 I had a really bad bout of tonsilitis and had a quick care doctor tell me I just had to live with chronic tosilitis because I was too old (screw you buddy) to do anything about it. But when I went to an ENT and he thought that was total crap.

So a few weeks after Bud and I got engaged I had my tonsils out during spring break. Which is surprisingly an out patient procedure. I remember being in so much pain and having a really long list of meds to take, pain medication, antibiotics, and nausea medicine. During the day my mom would stay with me while Bud was at work, at night Bud stayed with me. I was in a lot more pain than I expected. Most pain medication makes me sick, the doctor couldn't have me throwing up so, I got the only thing that works well for me, Demerol (wooot). Which really doesn't get rid of the pain, you just don't care about pain any more. I couldn't eat anything solid and the only thing that sounded good were banana popsicles. I would wake Bud up multiple times in the night to go downstairs and get me another popsicle, and he would do it.

Anyway, after ten days of recovery I still felt like ass. But I had a cheerleading banquet to go to, I was the head advisor (shut up, I know..it was a total joke. Cheerleaders didn't even talk to me when I was in school) and the dinner had been planned for a while. I still couldn't drive because of all the medicine I was on, so my SIL drove me and Bud picked me up. It was like being in middle school all over again.

After we got back to my house Bud ran to the store before going home to work on a paper. I was drinking 12-15 bottles of water each day so he figured he would run and grab me some, then head home. While he was gone I got really nauseous and threw up blood, lots and lots o'blood, all over the bathroom. When Bud got back I was crying so he went into the bathroom and kind of freaked out a bit. He started to clean up the bathroom, which I shit you not, I had manage to throw up on every wall, the sink, behind the toilet, the only surface I didn't hit was the ceiling. I can't really explain what happened, I was aiming for the toilet, it just didn't work out. I was barfing into a bucket at this point and Bud was really worried. He called the doctors emergency number and the two decided I needed to get in to the office immediately. So we headed off, me with my bucket, Bud driving.

When we got to the office the doctor was waiting for us. He checked me out and could see a spot that was bleeding. He needed to get some special gauze on the bleedy spot and also use a suction thing to suck out the blood or something, but when someone jams gauze down your throat your instinct is to fight them. So he has his forearm pressed against my chest while trying to shove stuff into my throat while I gagged. Poor Bud was just holding foot and leg since that was all he could reach. After an hour or so of us wrestling we finally got to go home. The dr told Bud he had to watch me all night to make sure I didn't choke on the gauze and bring me back in the morning. So Bud rented some movies and playstation games and watched me sleep the rest of the night.

In the morning we went back to the dr office and had the dressing taken out of my throat. We went back to my place and Bud slept for 4 hours. Then he went home to work on that paper. He came back later that evening ( I didn't have a computer) so we could hang out. I started feeling sick again when into the bathroom and more blood! I came out of the bathroom crying and Bud just sat me on the couch, got me clean jammies out of the dryer, found the bucket and called the doctor. He told the doctor we were heading to the hospital and we would me him there...............

(to be continued) I know longest story ever.

Sunscreen, not just for children

2009-07-23T22:28:00.000-07:00

We had such a great time on our trip! The kids were awesome in the car, Owen and Maddie watched movies, Ellie slept and I got to read a book!

We went to Sea World on the first day. As soon as we got out of the car Maddie saw the roller coaster and immediately said she wanted to ride on it, Owen was adamant that he didn't. Sadly, Maddie is a bit too short. We made sure the kids were all covered in sunscreen, but I got distracted and forgot to sunscreen myself. So 2 hours into the day I was burnt to a crisp. I put a ton on after that but it sucked. ( I started peeling and Bud can't leave it alone. He was peeling big chunks off today and offering me money to eat it. I don't know what is wrong with him. )

I had worried about the kids begging for stuff. So we told them as soon as we got to the park that the would get a souvenirs, but not until the end of the day. Maddie fell in love with a dolphin hand puppet with a squeaker. She waited patiently all day and we bought it just before we left. The next day she wanted to take it with us and we let her. She also had her kitty, it is the head of Marie from Aristocats attached to a little blanket. What are those things called anyway? we use to call it kitty head. Anyway as we were leaving the park we realized she didn't have the dolphin or kitty.

Bud ran through the park looking for them and we went to the lost and found, but they hadn't been turned it. I was so sick over it, I started crying. She has had that kitty since she was 10 months. I got it at the Disney outlet for two dollars. When I realized how much she liked it I started looking for another, my sister-in-law found one. We have switched them out for washings, so I knew we would be able to replace it, but now we don't have a spare. I have googled looking for another, I would pay a lot for another one. The folks at lost and found said they would mail them if they were turned in. Can you believe someone found them and kept them? I can see with the dolphin because it was obviously new, but kitty was nasty. Maddie rubs it on her face and the fur is all matted up. It is clearly a lovey for a small kid. What kind of ass keeps it? Anyway she woke up a few times at the hotel asking for blanket kitty. Broke my heart.

Conversations with a 6 year old Part 2

2009-07-11T08:10:00.000-07:00

Owen was helping my mom organize some things in her classroom.

Grandma: blah blah blah curse curse

Owen: Grandma why do you say shit so much? Shit isn't a nice word you really shouldn't use it.

Vacation

2009-07-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

As parents we are total wimps about taking our kids to the traditional family recreational spots. We had planned a family vacation to San Diego this week but at the last minute we changed our plans because of Bud's "procedure". (Don't go getting any ideas Internet, we will be home! With guns! Flamethrowers! And small children who will wear down your soul with requests for snacks! So don't think you can come rob our house). Anyway we will be going later in the summer. This will be our first real family vacation, that doesn't entail visiting people. We are traveling just for the "fun" of it.

Most summers we travel to PA to visit Bud's family. However, these are not really "vacations", maybe a vacation from sanity, a vacation from regularly scheduled meals, a vacation from privacy and a vacation from central air conditioning. I love our visits with his family, they are a lot of fun and I really feel like I am part of the family. BUT they never eat. I don't understand this, it will be a full two hours after a meal time and then they finally discuss what to eat. Then someone has to go to the store, then there is the actual preparation. This is not a concept I am familiar with, my family plans lunch while eating breakfast, and plans dinner during lunch. And there is much snacking in between, in addition to reminiscing about meals we have eaten in the past, you know with pictures of the food. I was always hungry in PA, but now we buy a bunch of food our first day, and we eat whenever we want.

Over the years we have perfected our travel technique. We always rent a car, buy our own snacks to stave off starvation and we stay with Bud's aunt and uncle. They work during the day so when we wake up they are leaving for work. We always get a few hours of privacy before the chaos of the day begins. Also, MIL's house has been in the process of a remodel for 20 years. The bathroom is missing, missing, a wall. Instead there is a shower curtain, instead, of a wall. Seriously, I can't use the bathroom under those conditions. You just shouldn't be walking around the house and see someone's feet while they are on the toilet. Just......no.

So what's crazy about your family vacations? No food? Food obsession? Public pooping?

Nine Weeks!

2009-07-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

This was taken on Monday, when she was officially nine weeks. Later she went to the doctor and had her shots. Then she spent about 2 hours crying that night. Thanks vaccines!

In Sickness and in Health

2009-07-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Wow this has been a big weekend. Bud had a vasectomy on Friday. Crazy. I haven't mentioned it because I know that with my age, and our income bracket we can't just keep having kids. With the complications and difficulties I don't know if I could deal with the stress. (Recap- twins! lost one twin! maybe brain damage! chemical test positive for spina bifida but ultrasound good so who can tell?) It is still sad, but even if we had ten there would still be a last baby. And she feels like such a miracle, I am afraid we would be tempting fate.

So back to the big V, I think men are treated a bit differently in these circumstances. The doctor told him to "shave his sack" the morning of the procedure. Nothing more specific. I think women would have been given better directions, maybe even a diagram. He had the same concerns I would have either a) not shaving enough and getting yelled at or b) shaving too much and having them think you are a freak. Anyway everyone told him "no big deal". All the men coming out were gimping a bit, but nothing too bad. When Bud came out he was white as a sheet. He had almost passed out while checking out, he was in a lot of pain the rest of the night and has been much more sore than we anticipated. Luckily my mom had the kids Friday night, and when we could see he was still struggling they stayed Saturday night as well.

It has been tough keeping him off his feet, he doesn't take well to just laying on the couch. I keep reminding him of all the times he has taken care of me, tonsillectomy, gallbladder removed, childbirth. But he doesn't listen, I am a bit pissed at him because he isn't suppose to lift anything heavy for another 4 days, and he carried Maddie up to bed. I know he is trying to be helpful, but if he hurts himself and ends up with complications he will be laid up much longer. Some men don't help out when they're healthy, some can't stop helping. Isn't there a happy medium?

Random Bullets

2009-06-28T12:54:00.001-07:00

Facebook-WTH. Are there rules or something? I find it nearly as stressful as high school. What are the rules about friending people? And then how long do you have to chat with them? What if I just want to play around on FB stalking people? I don't want to be interrupted by chatting. But if you say you need to get the kids to bed you have to get off FB or they can tell you lied. Dude, it is stressful. I don't know if I really want to get to into it or not.

Breastfeeding- I need a system for frozen milk. I currently have about 60 frozen bags and Bud and I are both dissatisfied with the system in place. (current system is shoving it the freezer and having it fall out everytime I open the freezer) Our deep freeze still has a ton of meat, and I seem to be pumping faster than we are able to consume the dead cow. I need more ways to use round steak.

Postpartum weight loss- FAIL. I guess downing two pieces of cheesecake while on the phone with a friend is not conducive to weight lose. It is however,conducive to not losing your damn mind. Those are my choices: skinny(ish) ass or my mind. When it appears I have gone completely crazy just assume my ass looks awesome.

Babies- Eight 20 minute naps on my chest throughout the day make a crabby baby and a crabby momma. Consolidation is the solution! Try it, I think we all will appreciate the difference.

Conversations with a six year old

2009-06-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Owen is loving the trip to Washington. My aunt and uncle have 3 acres of land which is way better than the 100 square feet of yard we have. Anyway, he calls us everynight and this was part of my conversation with him;

Me: How is the weather there?

Owen:_________

Me: Is is hot or cold?

Owen: It is hot and cold.

Me: When is it cold?

Owen: On both ends.

Me: Both ends of what????

Owen: Both ends of when its hot.

Kids got a point.

Letter to the Internet

2009-06-18T16:59:00.001-07:00

Dear Internet,

Just so you know I pushed a baby out my hoo-haa six weeks ago with a bit of "damage". So your twice daily emails touting penis ENLARGEMENT, not so much. Seriously, the idea makes me cry. Leave me and the bruised hoo-haa alone.

That is all,

Lippy

Start Saving Now

2009-06-15T10:22:00.000-07:00

Owen is losing his first tooth. It has been super loose for about a week now, yesterday I took a look at it and noticed something interesting. The adult tooth has popped up well behind the baby tooth. I imagine this is a sign of orthodontia in our future. We have a dentist appointment in two weeks, hopefully he can tell us how much money we should start putting aside each month to pay for the braces and headgear that I am sure will be required. That combined with Maddie's love of her thumb should make us very popular to some orthodontist.

I am hoping he loses the tooth in the next 30 hours. He leaves on Wednesday with my mom and nephew for a 10 day trip to Washington. So if he loses the tooth on his vacation I will be very sad, no one in this house has the stomach for speeding the process. We agreed to this trip months ago, and now are nervous about how long he will be gone. It will cut down on the amount of fighting, I am sure Maddie will still be her stellar little self, but at least she won't have a big brother pestering her all the live long day. We are sending an envelope for each day that he is gone. I plan to include a variety of things, notes saying we love him, gum, maybe stickers or tattoos. Any other suggestions?

2009-06-11T19:05:00.000-07:00

How do you get three kids looking cute, smiling and no red eye all in one picture?

Is it safe to assume we got this outfit for the humor factor, right? No one actually believes a baby will wear this without crying?

I am afraid to even wash it, I think the flower on the front will fall apart. But she is very stylish.

BFF

2009-06-07T22:36:00.000-07:00

My very best friend (V) is going through some tough times. We met in high school and have been friends for more than 20 years. Her husband is an alcoholic and she has decided to divorce him. He has become progressively more verbally abusive over the last year. We live about 10 hours apart, and I just got a call from one of her friends. Her husband has been threatening to take their son and make sure she never sees him again. He has also been threatening to kill himself, and making vague threats against her. She is staying with friends tonight, and they have called the police. I wish I had some way of helping her, if I had not just given birth I would go visit her. But I really can't take a new baby (or any child) into that situation, and I can't leave her here because I am the food source. I don't know if V can come out here right now, she will need to talk to her lawyer first. If she can, I think it would be good for her to escape the situation for awhile. I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. She has worked really hard over the last year to improve her life, she has lost almost 70 pounds, she teaches an exercise class, and she has found new hobbies. She was hoping he would want to make some changes for himself, but apparently not. I remember at their reception telling him if he ever hurt her I would kick his ass, apparently I have some ass kicking to do. Maybe it will help get rid of the baby weight.

An Officer and a what?

2009-05-28T11:45:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching An Officer and a Gentleman. I do love that movie, and with my awesome post partum hormones I got the weepies. But not at the expected part, the end when he goes to the factory to sweep Debra Winger off her feet. No I started crying during the scene when Mayo has his last chance to break the record for the obstacle course, but instead he helps the girl who has never been able to get over the wall. For some reason that was really touching. I hope that I can raise my kids so they are willing to help others.

And an update on the mushrooms.... I totally got the idea to use meringue a few months ago, when I went to Allrecipes to find a recipe I found this so apparently I wasn't the first one to think of it. I wouldn't have thought of the cocoa powder. I am also trying to figure out other uses for the meringue. Because it was so fun to make. Also I am a cooking dork.

May Madness

2009-05-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

Whew, we are finally done with the birthdays. I'm sure next year will be great with three kids birthdays in 3 weeks. I think considering I gave birth this month that everything went well.

Owen doesn't like cake (????) so he wanted an ice cream cake, and he also wanted pizza. His party was a breeze, other than finding something to wear 5 days after giving birth. He had another dinosaur birthday, his third dino party in six years. At least he is consistent.

Maddie wanted Tinkerbell, which was a lot of fun. I had fun making her cake, it turned out better than I expected, but the pictures didn't really turn out so well.

I made the mushrooms from meringue, they turned out really well. And they were super tasty. I lost the candle that I bought for the cake, luckily Bud bought her a small Tinkerbell doll for her birthday, so I used that instead. Here is a close up of some of the mushrooms.

I can't wait to see what cakes I need to come up with for next year.

What kind of party will this one want?

Hot Potato

2009-05-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

The whole third child thing is going well. Ellie is a great eater, she would nurse all the live long day if we let her. She is also a prolific pooper, like her brother and sister before her. And she generally sleeps pretty well. So the baby part is good, I am recovering pretty well. Until today.

I have a habit of getting stupid injuries, and I think today is a perfect example. I was heating up my lunch in microwave. When I took it out the juice from the pot roast splashed me, burning my hands. I hurried up and set it down so I could put my hands under cold water. Then I noticed my foot was also burning, somehow one of the potatoes escaped the plate, landed on the floor and I stepped on the searingly hot potato. Which was stuck between my toes. So I hoisted my foot up to the sink, while being cautious of the ho-ha stitches. I have been sitting with an ice pack for a few hours now, and the toes seem pretty burnt.

Bud was shocked that I managed to hurt myself in the 5 minutes he was in the shower. But he has not once but twice been hit by cars, so he has no room to judge.

Look Who's Here

2009-05-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

Here she is....... Ellie Marie was born on May 4th at 10:08 am. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.

I will do a more indepth story of her birth at some point. The birth itself was pretty uneventful, except for a certain older sibling getting sick as I was actually pushing this one out. Also for those about to give birth, I recommend going into labor early in the day. If you go into labor at night you will never get that sleep back. But she seems worth it.

Owen and Maddie are totally smitten with little Ellie. Notice their hair color? Can you understand our surprise that Ellie has dark hair?

Also any recommendations on how to get rid of the retained water? Bud keeps making fun of my "Fat Bastard" feet. They are so swollen the skin hurts. I have tried keeping them up, but it hasn't helped much yet. Oh and my " Fat Bastard" boobs came in last night. I need to wake the baby and make her eat before they explode.

Eviction Notice

2009-04-30T22:13:00.000-07:00

I am so ready to have this baby. I know I am not due for another two weeks, but seriously...am done. I was have some contractions last night but they eventually petered out. Last Friday I was at 3 cm, so I was hoping to go into labor. Tomorrow is my last day of work, so that is exciting. Some of my students decorated my classroom, it was a bunch of boys, so the streamers were red, blue, yellow and green. The balloons were black, brown and green. It creacked me up, because we all know girls would have color coordinated everything. It was really nice of them, and it cheered me up a lot.

We still need to come up with a name for this girl, so we should probably get on that. I can't wait to meet her. I also can't wait to stand up and not feel like my crotch is going to fall apart.

36 Weeks

2009-04-18T14:41:00.000-07:00

Less than 4 weeks to go...Wooo wooo. My other two were each two weeks early, so I am anticipating the same with this one. I am sure she will try to prove me wrong. At my doctor appointment yesterday I was a bit dilated and effaced, so yay.

My three appointments a week are starting to get tiresome. On Thursday I was a bit worried, my fluid levels were way down. I am trying to stay off my feet a bit and drink a ton of water. I had a lot of issues with low fluid with Maddie. She was also diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction, so I was on bedrest after 35 weeks. I would like it if I didn't have to repeat that again. I am planning on starting my maternity leave on May 4th, I have yet to make it to my target date with any of my pregnancies, maybe the third time is a charm.

My AP kids take their test on the 6th, and I would like to make it as long as possible. I have planned everything for my sub, all the worksheets, tests, quizzes and activities are in a folder dated for her. I was waking up at night worried about going into labor and not being ready at school. So that makes me feel a bit better. Of course, we don't have a bag packed for ourselves, so maybe I should take care of that this weekend.

Now if I could just get some sleep, I wake up a million times to go to the bathroom. I am sweating all the time so I don't use any covers, and I discovered I sleep better without pants. I am starting to keep poor Bud awake, which gives him more time to stress out about the papers he has to write in the next few weeks. I'm sure he appreciates that. I know he loves me flailing around trying to roll my gigantic self out of bed, the cats hate it too, but they don't help around the house, so too bad for them.

Question

2009-04-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

Is it a good idea to rough house with the children while getting them ready for bed? Then be annoyed when they won't settle down? Just wondering........

Mom Update

2009-04-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

As I said before my mom will wait and ignore whatever argument we have had then after a few days she calls and acts like nothing happened. Well Tuesday night after our fight she called and told me that we should do whatever we think is best! Which, as we all know, moms don't apologize so this was as good as it gets. Y'all I totally won! It was the first time, yay for me.

I don't know why mothers and daughters struggle so much. It kills me to know that someday my daughters will think I am crazy. I will at least try to apologize when I am blatantly wrong. (which will never happen, I am sure)

Normally my mom is really awesome. She is a terrific grandma, her idea of fun is to have all four grandkids (5 and under) spend the night. Then she will take them out to eat! by! herself! Dude, Bud and I think twice before we take our two kids out in public. She colors and paints with them, she lets them eat candy by the handful. It is great for Bud and I, we actually get a bit of time together. Of course we use that time to write papers for our various classes, but still, it is nice. If she could dial down the crazy it would really help.

My Mom is the BEST (sarcasm)

2009-03-31T16:22:00.000-07:00

I am so pissed at my mother right now. I truly can't hardly see through the tears right now. She enrages me so much.

First of all, we normally get along pretty well. We have a lot in common, both math teachers, similar styles and a lot of similar views. We talk on the phone a lot, and hang out quite a bit. I could identify with the mom posts today and figured I had a bit to write about later tonight. Then I had a conversation on the phone with my mom and we got into a huge fight!

A bit of background, Owen's birthday is a week before the baby is due. Both kids were born two weeks early, so we figure we will either have a baby a few days old, or I will be on major labor watch. We can't plan a party at birthday place, because we may need to cancel at the last minute. So we need to have the party at our house. In order to make things easier we are having a cleaning lady the day before the party, we are ordering food, and in a total departure for me, we are ordering an ice cream cake instead of making it. (Maddie is two weeks later so postponing a week isn't a great option either)

Owen has gone to the same private school the last two years, they don't offer past kindergarten so the kids who have known each other for years will be moving on. His school also asks that you invite everyone so no one is left out, which I understand. Because he won't be seeing his good friends next year, and they will all kind of drift off I would like to be able to invite all of them. I figure we will include a note on the invite letting people know they need to call the morning of and see if the party is still on, this will maybe discourage some that he isn't real close to, also a home party may seem more boring than the bowling parties, gymboree parties that are so popular. But with kids and family we are looking at maybe 30 people (not counting parents of the kids we invite). That is a lot of people for our house.

The other morning I thought of a bright idea, have just kids in the morning, with a clearly defined time frame. Then have family over later in the day, and they can hang out, see the new baby if she is here, etc. Bud suggested that my mom bring T (same age cousin, bff) to the party with the kids, T would like hanging with the kids, my mom would like seeing the kids.

So today on the phone I asked her advice. At first she seem to agree, then shit got out of hand. She started going on about family only being allowed over for coffee and cake, and booted out, and getting all offended. I don't think my grandparents care about hanging with a bunch of 6 year olds, but whatever. So I pointed out that maybe people would be ok with it since I will probably have just experience labor and my whoo hoo will still be stitched, and they would be a bit understanding. To which she responded maybe we shouldn't have a party at all. yeah real nice. I got off the phone at that point.

I was fuming so I called back 5 minutes later and asked her if her opinion was really that it was better to tell Owen no party than for her to be offended. She went on about how we planned all our kids to be in May, so we should have thought about it more. She always complains about her mom being selfish and never thinking of her. I pointed out that is exactly how she was treating me, she was not thinking of me, my health or for the love pete, her grandson.

I don't think I was being unreasonable. So now we have this long process of her ignoring me til she isn't mad at me, and then pretending like it didn't happen. It is so irritating, I am proud of myself for calling her back and giving her a piece of my mind though. I swear she doesn't do this shit to my brother.

Noodles with White Sauce

2009-03-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have been totally negligent is my recipes, so here we go. Both of my kids love pasta and I usually give them the option of what sauce they want to use. This is very quick, and I make it alot on Tuesdays when Bud has class. This is not the healthiest meal, but on those days you need something quick....

12 oz - 16 oz cooked pasta ( angel hair and the spiral noodles work well)
1C milk
1C mayo
1 package ranch dressing mix
Parmesan cheese

Mix the milk, mayo and ranch mix, then let it thicken for a bit. When the pasta is done and the ranch until it is the appropriate sauciness for your family. Then add Parmesan to your liking. I have never tried the bottled ranch for this, we keep a giant bottle of ranch mix on hand, so I can make just a little or a lot.

This tastes a bit like Alfredo sauce, and is probably just as unhealthy, but it is fast! And kids like it, so winner, winner chicken dinner.

Just do your job!

2009-03-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

Bad news. Our dryer stopped working on Wednesday. As you all know with children, you can not let the laundry get the upper hand. If we skip more than a day we are in deep ummmm laundry. We have had issues with our washer and dryer off and on for a while now. One of the two keeps putting holes in our clothes, not helpful. So rather than fix the dryer we went out and bought a new set. And we bought a much better set, so hopefully we will have better luck. Now I can focus my hatred on our crappy oven. Personally, I shouldn't have to have feelings about my appliances. They should just do their job! Anywho, they will be delivered tomorrow.

We had another ultrasound on Thursday and the baby is about 4 lbs. Everything still looks good. I am sure the ultrasound tech thinks I am a cold person. They always say how cute she is, and really don't all babies look the same on an ultra sound? I don't really believe that they can tell if she is cute or not. I am sure she will be beautiful when she is born. The week after next I start going to the perinatologist TWICE a week. And my regular doctor every other week. It is really time consuming being high risk. Also expensive. The diabetes thing is going well, I haven't had any trouble keeping my number below the limit. However, I would eat a thousand oreo's if given the chance. Luckily my loved ones bring me many treats when the babe is born.

Babies!

2009-03-07T13:35:00.001-08:00

How cute is my niece? My BIL and SIL seem to be doing really well. I am trying to come up with a great gift idea for them, something that will be really useful. But I know with each of my kids, whatever our lifesaver was changed. Owen loved the bouncy chair, Maddie loved the swing. We used the bottle warmer a lot with Owen, but only once with Maddie, diaper genie, not so much. Breast pump? a gift from the heavens.

With so many people having babies lately, and the new one on its way in the next 2 months or so I have been thinking a lot about how different it is after the first. I loved Swistle's beginning of labor post. Even more than the labor I just remember thinking "this is NOT what I expected".

I had a nice little picture in my head of what things would be like after Owen was born. For some reason I didn't really get my mind set on the labor, I just assumed that part would all suck, and I would be lucky if I lived through it. It is helpful to have low expectations. But somehow I expected a nice rosy glow after he was born. Instead, I always felt like I was doing it wrong. Don't ask me what "it" was. There are two incidents at the hospital that really stick out in my mind .......

1) Shortly after Owen was born, I nursed him for the first time. I think it went ok, but a few hours later (2:00am) he was hungry again, and didn't seem to be latching on right. The nurse was there and she was very helpful and encouraging. We tried a variety of different holds, and positions. Felt like he was having a hard time getting a hold of my nipple, she suggested ..... rubbing ice on it so it would perk up and he could get it. So there I am, with the nurse and Bud looking on while I rub ice on myself. Hot. So not how I pictured motherhood.

2) I got really nauseous the second night in the hospital. I woke up in the middle of the night and started throwing up. Well because of the stress on the various parts of my girly parts every time I threw up I also would pee, luckily I was wearing the giant pad they give you. Bud was asleep the whole time, then Owen started crying in his bassinet and Bud was still sleeping! I started crying in the bathroom, because this wasn't what I envisioned.

I now find these stories hysterical. At the time everything seemed so important, I wanted to have this nice memory to look back on. I now appreciate that I have a lot of funny stories to tell people.

I am I the only one that felt this way? It seems everyone else had a handle on what they were doing.

100/4 is not 30...... just sayin

2009-02-28T12:29:00.000-08:00

So I have a brand new niece! She was born on Thursday to Bud's brother and his wife. They named her Isabella Grace, isn't that beautiful? She is only 5 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches, but my SIL is very tiny. She was about 10 days early, which is always nice. They had a lot of fertility issues and went through IVF so this has been a very long road.

It brings back memories of having Owen. Remember how different it is the first time? How you can just hang in hospital room, rather than being in labor and wondering how the older child is doing? When we had Maddie, Bud would leave the hospital room at 5:30 am so that he could go to mom's so she could leave for work. Then he would get Owen up and ready and take him to daycare when she opened at 7:00. Not quite as idyllic.

Speaking of idyllic, aren't pregnant hormones like being bathed in serenity all day long? On Thursday my glucose monitor stopped working, I have had it for 6 years (yes I replaced the batteries). So on Friday I called my doc so he could call in a new prescription for one. This morning I called to make sure he had called my pharmacy and he had. Then I asked about refilling my prescription for testing strips, I was told that insurance will only pay for one month at a time, which is a box, of 100 strips. Well standard practice is to test 4 or 5 times a day, which means I will run out 5 days before I can renew. The "helpful" technician informed me I can pay for some if I would like..... gee thanks. I pointed out it is mathematically impossible for 100 strips to be a month supply, but maybe math is not her strong suit. I understand it isn't her fault, but seriously she could have been a bit more helpful. Or at least understood the point I was making. If she had just said "yes, you are right you will run out. I suggest calling your dr and having him call in a more specific prescription for you" that would have been great. Rather than "yeah that's how it works I guess...hm". So clearly the best option is to cry about for 20 minutes, which I did.

But I have a new niece withe a head of dark curly hair.

Technical Difficulties

2009-02-22T10:33:00.000-08:00

Yippeee we finally have our new laptop. On Tuesday it was only 40 minutes away, then they shipped it 10 hours away. I don't understand the shipping system, oh well. We finally got it on Saturday, the same day our other laptop developed a worm! So instead of Bud and I spending our time on Saturday working on separate lap tops, Bud spent his time battling the computer demons. He thinks he finally got it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have a bunch of lessons due by midnight tonight so I am sure I will be busy until late.

Mom took the kids overnight, so that is helpful. I got a decent night sleep, so that was good. Mom called a bit ago, Maddie was having one of her screaming fits. She rarely does that in front of other people, everyone thinks she is an angel. Usually she is, but she is stubborn, and feisty and when she is mad she goes into these rages. You can see she is trying to learn how to control herself, and you can see what a struggle it is. I feel so proud of her when she manages to pull herself together.

I have neglected recipes lately, also I have neglected cooking. I am sure cereal is a nutritious dinner for growing children. Another popular option has been "whatever you find in the fridge, that is not growing stuff". Yep low standard parenting, I am so proud. I hope this summer when we are both done with our classes we can get a system that works better.

Last weekend Owen and I made these brownies . They were so good, and Owen loves helping in the kitchen, instead of semi-sweet Owen made up a cup of random chips, milk chocolate, white chocolate and peanut butter. I am sure brownies are on the gestational diabetes diet, right?

Catching Up

2009-02-16T07:48:00.000-08:00

Wow, I guess I disappeared for awhile. Things have been super busy around here, my dad was in town. We had a lot of fun. And Maddie didn't cry at all around him, she hugged him and even gave him kisses. Of course, now he is completely smitten with her. Owen read him a few books with his mad reading skillz. We also had to rearrange all the freezer space for the great meat gift.

Mom ended up picking the kids up from school for us 3 of the 5 days last week. Bud and I are the coaches for a quiz bowl team. We have had playoff matches the last few weeks. We are now in the championship. So that was Monday, Tuesday Bud has classes until 9:30 pm, Wednesday I had a doctor appointment. Then Thursday was an appointment with the high risk doctor and another ultrasound. The baby looks great and is right on track growth wise. Then on Friday we had a memorial to attend. Whew busy week.

Also my birthday was last week and Bud got me this cute t-shirt. I like to display my dorkiness as much as possible, plus with the belly the calculator really pops. He also got me a gift certificate for a prenatal massage. I am so excited. We don't really do the valentine's day thing. I don't like going out to eat when there are tons of other people eating, it just isn't that romantic. We both have had a ton of work to get done, so mom took all four of her grandkids for Saturday night. Bud and I spent the evening grading and doing homework for our various classes. I have two online classes going right now, and Bud has a few 20 page papers due this semester. I am a bit ashamed to say that one laptop does not cut it for two people who are on the computer all the time. So we ordered another, I feel like such a consumer. It will be delivered tomorrow or the next day! I am so excited. I haven't been keeping up with some online things that I would like. I can't really tell Bud to do his paper later, I need to comment on various blogs. Luckily he is sleeping right now, he was up until 2:ooam working on school stuff.

Well Maddie smells like she needs a new diaper, so off to the trenches I go.

Playground Conversations

2009-02-06T20:47:00.000-08:00

The other day when I picked up Owen at school I noticed a variety of band aids all over his body. He told me about falling down, yada yada, the usual. Then sums up with "also my butt itches". Thanks for that.

So as I am signing him out one of the teachers fills me in more on the falling and injuries. Then tells me that his butt has been hurting all day. They sent him to wipe, and that made it worse and he has had trouble walking around. Awesome. So I am apologizing for my son's dirty butt, wondering is this normal? Do other people discuss their child's wiping habits with the teacher in Kindergarten? I had expected him to be more proficient at this point. Am I suppose to still be double checking his technique? I need a book on these things.

Why are there a million books about taking care of a newborn, who just eats, poops, and sleeps all day screams all night, but nothing about how to make a 5 year old stop the freaking whining and sighing all day, or when they should be able to wipe themselves. Also, should he be able to rinse his own hair now? Because he still freaks out if the water touches his face. Should we take him to a therapist, or just dump water on him and tell him to suck it up? I am leaning towards the latter by the way.

Today at dinner he told us about a girl at school who wants to marry him. He doesn't want to marry her, when I asked him why, he said, "she just isn't the right person". Which is a better answer than you get from some adults.

Cookies, yay cookies

2009-02-01T08:24:00.000-08:00

This recipe is my all time favorite cookie. It just melts in your mouth, leaving a happy feeling on your tongue. It is from my favorite cook book The Meta Given's Modern Encyclopedia of Cooking. It was originally printed in 1947, my edition came out in 1959. It is a total hoot. There are all these creeds, the "meal planner's creed", the "cook's creed". It is comedy gold! My favorite? This section

"Butter is more than just a nutritious food with a delicious flavor; it may be highly decorative also, if shaped with imagination. All these attractive little butter pats, balls, curls and blossoms can be made by any enterprising housewife armed with a sharp knife, a pair of wooden paddles, a butter curler, and a mold or two. When directions are followed, they are easy the first time, easier the second and fun no matter how often you make them."

What is not to love? A) any cook book saying butter is nutritious is awesome B) making butter decorative? cool C) envisioning a life where you have time to make pretty butter? where were the children, in the basement??

You can feel the effects from the Depression with all the ways to use everything, bacon fat and stale bread. There are lessons on how to make attractive canapes, keep your fridge clean (I skipped that section apparently), pick good fruits and veggies at the store. It even has a sample weekly menu for each month. I have been looking through this again the last few months and am amazed at how many of our family recipes are adaptation of this cook book. My grandma has one, and she bought one (actually it's two books) when mom got married I think. My SIL found mine on amazon or ebay a few years ago. I remember using this book as a very young girl. My mom's book still opens automatically at this cookie recipe.

Almond Crescents

1/2 C almonds (chopped fine) (Walnuts work as well)

3/4 C + 2 Tblsp. Flour

1/8 t salt

1/2 C butter

1/3 C powdered sugar

1/2 t vanilla

1/4 t almond extract (if you don't have it use extra vanilla)

extra powdered sugar

Heat oven for 10 minutes before baking at 325 degrees. Cream butter until shiny, add sugar and cream well. Stir in flavorings, then almonds and flour and salt. Knead dough til smooth. Divide dough in two. Roll each into a rope of 15 inches. Cut ropes into 1-inch lengths, then roll each piece to 2-inch lengths, curving to a crescent shape. Place on ungreased cookie sheet, bake 15 minutes until a pale golden color. Remove at once to cake rack, then roll in powdered sugar while still warm. Makes 30.

When I make this, I just roll it into balls, because I am lazy like that. Also I never get 30 cookies, more like 2 dozen, so I triple or quadruple the recipe. You have time to make these for the big game today! yummmmm

Fail

2009-01-30T19:38:00.000-08:00

I found out this week I failed my one hour glucose screening. My doctors office wanted me to go for the three hour test, but since I had gestational diabetes in my other 2 pregnancies, I didn't see the point. So I will be back to testing my blood sugar 4 times a day! Yay, whatever. I remember the first time I was so freaked out, second time it was an inconvenience and now, meh. I have been able to control it easily with diet, and I don't expect this time to be any different.

My dad is coming to visit us this week. I am looking forward to it. This will be Meat Week. For the last few years my dad has purchased and had butchered a cow, which he then divides with my brother and I. It is the best Christmas present ever. It gets us through most of the year without buying meat. I can't imagine the amount of money we save. Also the taste is far better than what we get at the store. Also, no hormones or what not.

Unfortunately, Maddie is not a huge fan of grandpa. It is so sad to watch, he desperately wants to hang out with her, and her whole personality changes. She doesn't play or talk, she just sits next to one me or Bud. I am hoping she will do a bit better this time.

My dad wants the guys, Bud, my brother and the two 5 year old boys to go skiing. The kids have never been and dad wants to see them go their first time. So his plan...... we all drive 3 hours to a ski resort and stay at a hotel. Then the guys will ski, I will stay in the resort all day, so when the little boys get tired, I can take them, so the big boys can ski. I know, sounds awesome! Why aren't I jumping on this? Bud is not pleased with the plan, he figures why spend all that money when the boys aren't going to ski that long. Also, Owen is not a huge fan of new things, he is a bit of a scaredy cat, and we are fine with it. So we don't think he will have fun. Bud has a 20 page research paper to work on and can't spend the time. So my brothers new suggestion is that Bud and I can stay home and he and dad will take Owen. I feel bad saying no, but seriously, the boy is 5, I know him, he won't enjoy himself enough to justify the trip. gahhhhh

So I am sure there will be a big guilt trip involved. Yippeeee, isn't it fun when family is in town?

Pepper Steak

2009-01-24T20:28:00.000-08:00

This is one of my all time favorite dinners. We had this for dinner last night, I have a bunch of round steak that needs to be used. The kids like this pretty well, Owen doesn't care for the peppers, but is able to pick them out. Remember all seasonings are approximate, feel free to adjust for your family.

The great thing about this recipe? You can make a couple changes and make Broccoli Beef. So on a Sunday you can make a huge batch, halfway through set some of it aside for later in the week. I am a big fan of cooking something time consuming on Sunday, then using it later in the week. As I have mentioned, we don't have a ton of time for cooking each night, so I try to make a few things over the weekend to make life tolerable during the week. So here it goes:

Pepper Steak

1 1/2 lb (ish) round steak

1-2 cloves of garlic

1/3 of an onion

pepper

2T soy sauce

1 can beef broth (or you could use bouillon, or not if it means another trip to the store)

1 28oz can diced tomatoes (drained a bit)

3-4 large green peppers (or other colors if they aren't $12 each)

Hot Rice

Cut the steak into smallish pieces, and trim whatever amount of fat suits you. For me that means not just fat, but anything that is sort of close to the fat. Put the meat into a tupperware with a bunch of flour. Put the lid on and shake it, til everything is coated nice. Throw a big blob of shortening into a stock pot, when it is nice and hot put the coated pieces of meat into the hot oil. When it is about halfway browned add the onion and chopped garlic. When the meat is browned and the onions are looking a bit cooked add the beef broth until the meat is just covered. I actually usually just use water and throw in some bouillon. Add the soy sauce and some pepper. Now turn it down to simmer with a lid for about 30 minutes. Stir periodically so it doesn't stick to the bottom. The flour on the meat will help the sauce to thicken. * Then add the diced tomatoes, when it is simmering again throw in the sliced peppers. If the sauce is to thin let it simmer without a lid, to thick? just add more liquid. In 10 to 15 minutes the peppers should be tender. Serve over hot rice.

*For Broccoli Beef, same directions, but after the meat has simmered for 30 minutes add fresh or frozen broccoli and a can of sliced water chestnuts. Again serve over hot rice.

These are both great as leftovers for lunch.

High Anxiety

2009-01-24T06:48:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been stressful, and don't look to be getting any better. With the economy in the pooper, our state budget has been drastically reduced. The school budgets have been cut a lot this year, textbook budgets were cut in half, we can't even copy on colored paper. The governor originally said that they would freeze teacher pay, now he wants to also cut salaries.

As I have mentioned before Bud is finishing his Master's this year, and I am taking 32 credits this year. We have spent over $7,000 to take classes this year, but we figured we would make that back next year. But with the freeze they not only are eliminating raises for experience, but also raises for education. And the 6% pay cut is a real kick in the gut. If we knew that was going to happen we never would have pushed ourselves so hard this year. Also, anticipating our raises we decided to have another baby. The school district has already said they don't think that it is legal to do any of this, they believe they are still bound by various contracts.

This has turned into a huge public battle, angry letters to the editor, angry comments on message boards. Everyday I get to read that teachers are lazy, we should be happy we have jobs at all (we are), and if we don't like it we can all leave the state. Well, we already have a teacher shortage here, so I don't know that getting everyone to leave is the answer.

Right now we are short 40 math teachers. Which means there are substitutes with no math background teaching math classes. Can you imagine having your child in a class with a teacher not qualified? I would be pissed, but we just can't find enough qualified teachers. I can't see that this pay cut is going to help us fill in these gaps. Bud has 44 kids in one of his classes, 5 kids have to sit on the floor, and now they are saying classes will be bigger next year.

So I torment myself by reading editorials, and the online paper and their message boards. Seriously, don't threaten to cut my pay and insult me, it is too much. I get so irritated with people, then I start arguing with them in my head! Always effective and productive. I get all worked up into frenzy, by the time I go to bed I don't sleep well.

Whew, well that was boring! But I feel a bit better getting it out.

Italian Wedding Soup

2009-01-18T17:26:00.000-08:00

Wow, is it late in the day. Maddie has come down with something, fever, runny nose, wicked cough and crabbiness. Also she is getting her two year molars, so I feel bad for her, and everyone else. Oh, and also I had a paper due this weekend! Woo-hoo. So today's recipe is a link for some tasty soup. Also I copied and pasted from Allrecipes.com.

Owen has always loved soup, Tomato soup has been our go-to meal if he won't eat anything else. It was always his request at daycare for his birthday (instead of pizza!). So any soup is a winner for him. I like this one because it has spinach, how often do you get your kids jumping up and down for spinach?

INGREDIENTS
1 pound extra-lean ground beef
2 eggs, beaten
1/4 cup dried bread crumbs
2 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese ( I throw in extra cuz dude, it's cheese!)
1 teaspoon dried basil
3 tablespoons minced onion
2 1/2 quarts chicken broth
2 cups spinach - packed, rinsed and thinly sliced
1 cup seashell pasta (I used 3/4 cup of Orzo)
3/4 cup diced carrots

DIRECTIONS
In a medium bowl, combine the beef, egg, bread crumbs, cheese, basil and onion. Shape mixture into 3/4-inch balls and set aside.
In a large stockpot heat chicken broth to boiling; stir in the spinach, pasta, carrot and meatballs. Return to boil; reduce heat to medium. Cook, stirring frequently, at a slow boil for 10 minutes or until pasta is al dente, and meatballs are no longer pink inside. Serve hot with Parmesan cheese sprinkled on top.

This can be time consuming with the meatballs, particularly since we get home at 4:10 ish and the kids are starving at 4:45. So I make it on a Sunday and double or triple the meatball ingredients. Then I use what I need for the soup and put the rest in the oven for a bit. Then I freeze them. I can pull them out to make another batch of soup on a weeknight, or throw them into spaghetti sauce for a quick dinner.

Swiss Coffee Cake

2009-01-11T12:10:00.000-08:00

This is one of the first recipes I remember making. It is from my great-grandma, and when I was in fourth grade my grandma showed me how to make it. Sounds warm and fuzzy doesn't it? She's not that kind of grandma, maybe she was drunk. Anyway, this became a cake I made all the time. It is a great morning cake and can also be made as muffins.

1 1/2 C Sugar
2 C Flour
2 tsp Baking Powder
3/4 C Butter ( sometimes I use 1/2 C butter, 1/4 C Shortening)

Crumble these together, it is easiest to use your hands. Take out a cup of the crumbled mixture and set aside.

Then add:

2 Eggs
1/2 C Milk
1 tsp vanilla

Put in a greased and floured pan. Put the reserved crumbs on top of the cake mixture. Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes.

Ultrasound #3

2009-01-08T17:22:00.001-08:00

We had another appointment with the perinatologist today. They have been concerned out high levels of a chemical that should indicate spina bifida. But she looks great, the doctor said everything looks perfect. Yay. I have been so nervous I haven't really enjoyed this pregnancy much. I am trying to just let go and relax, and I feel like I can finally do that. She is moving around so much, I can start to see my belly move when she kicks.

I am still going to be labeled high risk, age (old), history of gestational diabetes which will come back and now this. But every pregnancy has been high risk, so that is what I am use to.

On of my fellow teachers gave me a gift card to a baby store, so I think I will go shopping for a few little things. We are set on clothes, but I would like a boppy cover, our boppy is a bit ragged. I also am thinking about getting one of those fancy sling carriers. I bought a carrier before, but it is a 20 foot piece of material, with complex directions to wrap it around myself. I don't like it that much, I end up looking like a cat caught in toilet paper when I try to put in on. Other than that I think we are set. Oh, but I need to find a dresser for Maddie. The one she is currently using is beautiful, my brother made if for me when Owen was born, but it is just not able to hold the clothing of an older child.

I am also feeling better after the nice comments about losing the one baby. I don't know why it helps to have others say it is ok to be sad, but it helps. So thank you! I also have been talking to my best friend and Bud about my feelings. Who knew bottling up = bad, talking = good. Craaaazeeee