I took a variety of classes when becoming a teacher, math classes, pedagogy classes, classes about classroom management, as well as a semester of student teaching. It doesn't take long to see that there are many things we don't learn in the classroom. They never prepared me for the emotional toll of teaching.
This year has been especially hard. We have many students suffering from financial hardships lately. We have a designated room with donated clothes, food, personal hygiene items to help out families. Staff members have contacts with different resources, and are able to refer families whenever needed. We expect these things during an economic crisis.
What you don't expect is to see a former student's obituary in the paper. It is the third student I have lost in 14 years. He had two small children.
You don't expect to have a 16 year old who lost her father five years ago to cancer, find out that her mom has cancer...again. I watch her floundering, because her older sister has gone to college, and she has very little support system.
You don't expect a girl to get a text in your class telling her that her mother, who she thought was recovering, is dying.
You don't expect to find that another students parents have spent his entire college fund... on cancer treatment for his mom. Which didn't work, so now, no college and also mom is dying. And his little brother is friends with Owen.
You don't expect your colleague to come to you because one of her students isn't returning after spring break because he is in a coma.
I feel so powerless, I can't fix things for these kids. I have spent so much time crying for these kids, it breaks my heart. I don't think people understand how emotionally draining teaching can be, both for the good and bad.
I have a student that I first had as a freshman, he is just a great kid. He isn't the top kid in class, but he is sweet and funny and kind. I have him now as a senior, I know he isn't 4 year college material, so I was overjoyed to find out two weeks ago that he has a great opportunity playing sports in a different country. He will get paid, and his housing is paid and he will get 2 years of vocational training. I am so happy for him. Then Friday he came to me crying because his family had 5 days to move out of their home. He is now homeless. He will be staying with friends, and the rest of his family will scatter to stay with various people. He still has to buy his plane ticket, and is hoping he can get some money from his dad to buy it.
For a change this is something tangible that can be fixed. An assistant principal, another teacher and I are going to buy the ticket for him. I can't keep people from dying but I can throw a few hundred in to help a kid. I wish I could do more, but I am happy that I work with people who will go out of their way to help kids out.
This is why teachers need summer vacation. By the end of the year you are emotionally raw, when the next year starts I will have scabs and scars, only to start the whole thing over again.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Dreams and Update
You know how you sometimes have a dream about your spouse and wake up mad? I guess Bud had one of those last night. He dreamt I was in a car accident and had to go to the hospital. I didn't call him to let him know where I was, and he heard it from a co-worker. I guess I had a broken nose, and I just went to work when I got released. As he was telling me about it, he was getting all pissy about it. Hilarious.
So the Tae Kwon Do class was fun. There were only eight people there, and there were 5 different instructors so they rotated around a lot. There was a lot of individual attention which was good. My issue is that I am an ass. I just have a hard time with the whole bow before stepping foot on the mat, and all the yes, sirs and what not. I get a little eye-rolley with that sort of thing. I understand the purpose, but I just.. can't do it. I kept making jokes, and they just looked stone faced. (not stoned face, that would be different) Also it costs $125 a month, which seems a bit expensive. But I did go, and talked to people I didn't know, so that was a win.
So the Tae Kwon Do class was fun. There were only eight people there, and there were 5 different instructors so they rotated around a lot. There was a lot of individual attention which was good. My issue is that I am an ass. I just have a hard time with the whole bow before stepping foot on the mat, and all the yes, sirs and what not. I get a little eye-rolley with that sort of thing. I understand the purpose, but I just.. can't do it. I kept making jokes, and they just looked stone faced. (not stoned face, that would be different) Also it costs $125 a month, which seems a bit expensive. But I did go, and talked to people I didn't know, so that was a win.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Nervous
Owen's school does a family fitness night, we went last week and had a blast. They have people come in and teach a few minutes of some different classes. For this reason I may have accidentally signed up for a Tae Kwon Do class tonight. I am so nervous about the whole thing.
A) I have to talk to people I don't know
B) I have to drive there
C) See A
D) They will try to sign me up for classes that are expensive. I don't know how expensive. Also
E) See A
F) I will probably fall down
Gahhhh. I am also excited, it is an adult class so I won't be shown up by a bunch of 7-year olds.
A) I have to talk to people I don't know
B) I have to drive there
C) See A
D) They will try to sign me up for classes that are expensive. I don't know how expensive. Also
E) See A
F) I will probably fall down
Gahhhh. I am also excited, it is an adult class so I won't be shown up by a bunch of 7-year olds.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Alone Time
I had 2 hours to myself, and I used it to weed out and sort toys. I also washed everyone stuffed animals. Better luck next time. Of course, Bud was at my brothers house doing yard work. We really should look into have "fun". Also, why isn't there anything good on when the kids are not around?
I should have used the time to read on my new Kindle Fire. It was my birthday present from Bud, he did a great job coordinating everyone. His mom got me a cover and other accessories, and everyone else got me amazon gift cards. My only complaint? I put one of the giftcards on my amazon account, when our subscribe and save diapers automatically ordered, it was taken off my gift card. Boooo. Oh, and I felt that the Fire was over kill, who needs an iphone, laptop and a Fire? But then my laptop got funky. It kept giving an error message that no hard drive was found. But now it's working again. Who knows? I hear children in the driveway. Crap
I should have used the time to read on my new Kindle Fire. It was my birthday present from Bud, he did a great job coordinating everyone. His mom got me a cover and other accessories, and everyone else got me amazon gift cards. My only complaint? I put one of the giftcards on my amazon account, when our subscribe and save diapers automatically ordered, it was taken off my gift card. Boooo. Oh, and I felt that the Fire was over kill, who needs an iphone, laptop and a Fire? But then my laptop got funky. It kept giving an error message that no hard drive was found. But now it's working again. Who knows? I hear children in the driveway. Crap
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Money Can't Buy Love, but Maybe Sleep
Ellie was always a good sleeper. From about 5 months you could read her a story, kiss her and put her into bed at 6:15 and she would sleep until 6:00 the next morning. (yes we were aware of our great luck) So awesome, but a few weeks after we put her into her new bed she got sick. Everyone knows a kid getting sick is the worst thing ever for sleep. She wouldn't sleep on her own, she woke up early, didn't want her door closed.
By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan. We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening. She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming. She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies. I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown. Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice. If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts. However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done. I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough. We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings. But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den. Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep. (or drive, be nice to people) Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds. Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway. Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.
Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful. She cried all night, I cried all night. But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open. And she kept her word. But she was still waking up at 4:30. Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up? Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK! Enter the most expensive clock ever:
(from amazon)
We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later) it turns green. So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning. So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well. She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green. Not ideal, but an improvement. One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock. So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.
OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough. That totally won't eff up the program we have going.
By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan. We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening. She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming. She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies. I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown. Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice. If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts. However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done. I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough. We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings. But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den. Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep. (or drive, be nice to people) Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds. Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway. Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.
Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful. She cried all night, I cried all night. But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open. And she kept her word. But she was still waking up at 4:30. Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up? Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK! Enter the most expensive clock ever:
(from amazon)
We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later) it turns green. So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning. So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well. She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green. Not ideal, but an improvement. One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock. So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.
OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough. That totally won't eff up the program we have going.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Breaking Up
We just found out another couple we know are getting divorced. It feels like an epidemic, but I am guessing we have just reached the age where it happens. In the last two and half years we know 5 couples that have split up.
First was my best friend. Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years. It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.
Next, my cousin and his wife. The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later. They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents. Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain. She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up. She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere. Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders and knees replaced multiple times already. So you know, he left her after 16 years. For another woman. He is an asshole.
Then my aunt and uncle. They were married 29 years. He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed. When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone. He had to call his dad and tell him. My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers. He had no idea. He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated. We still don't know her deal.
Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer. We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before. It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks.
And now our friends. Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old. Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart. They had a girl, A, two months before we had Maddie. When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together. Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.
Being a grown-up is stupid.
First was my best friend. Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years. It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.
Next, my cousin and his wife. The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later. They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents. Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain. She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up. She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere. Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders and knees replaced multiple times already. So you know, he left her after 16 years. For another woman. He is an asshole.
Then my aunt and uncle. They were married 29 years. He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed. When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone. He had to call his dad and tell him. My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers. He had no idea. He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated. We still don't know her deal.
Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer. We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before. It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks.
And now our friends. Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old. Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart. They had a girl, A, two months before we had Maddie. When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together. Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.
Being a grown-up is stupid.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Happy Holidays
Well, that was fun right? I just love Christmas, and I think this might have been the last year all three kids would be into Santa. Owen told us before Christmas that Santa must be real because we would never spend that much money on presents. I think next year he will be a bit more sceptical.
We had a great time baking and cooking, decorating the house. The kids did a good job buying gifts for each other. Maddie and Owen seemed to really get the idea of picking something the other would actually want. It has been fun watching them get along a bit better as they have more in common with her starting to read.
The only bump this year was Ellie, she started being afraid of the dark beginning of October and hasn't slept well since then. It's like having a newborn again, and I don't do sleep deprivation well. We are working on retraining her again, booooo. I am crushed by exhaustion, but I think we are finally making progress.
What was your favorite moment this season??
Mine is this:
They both used a pastry bag, and had so much fun putting these together. Sadly, Santa loved them so much he took them back to the North Pole with him (the trains, not the kids).
We had a great time baking and cooking, decorating the house. The kids did a good job buying gifts for each other. Maddie and Owen seemed to really get the idea of picking something the other would actually want. It has been fun watching them get along a bit better as they have more in common with her starting to read.
The only bump this year was Ellie, she started being afraid of the dark beginning of October and hasn't slept well since then. It's like having a newborn again, and I don't do sleep deprivation well. We are working on retraining her again, booooo. I am crushed by exhaustion, but I think we are finally making progress.
What was your favorite moment this season??
Mine is this:
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