Aren't Grandmas suppose to be nice?

This week has been crazy. Christmas totally kicked my ass. And there was family drama, yippee. My uncle T has been struggling, 10 years ago he was assaulted and had severe bra!n damage. He was only given a 10% chance of survival. When he lived he was expected to mostly just sit and stare.

But he has recovered a lot, most people would just think he is a bit odd. He had the front lobe of his bra!n removed, so he makes a lot of poor choices. One of the poor choices was having a child, who is in the process of being removed from his custody. He is unable to maintain a job, he tried for many years, but just keeps getting fired. He refuses to tell people about his brain damage, so they think he is weird. I think he would have been better off being more open about this, but what do I know. The custody thing, I just don't know what to think, a lot of what we are being told doesn't make sense. My mom is heart broken for him, he is her baby brother.

Anyway, two days before Christmas his apartment building burned to the ground. So we have been scavenging closets and cabinets for stuff to help him out. My grandma immediately started telling us that her and her husband couldn't help him because they have no money. (they bought a $75,000 boat in August) My mom said she has some money set aside and maybe after the holidays a furniture store would have one of those deals for a couch and end tables for $700 and she could buy it for him. My grandmother's response? "No I want him to have nice furniture, not cheap stuff ". Who says that? Naturally, my mom was pissed. Not to be a jerk, but he lives in sect!on 8 housing, lives on disability and is losing his kid, does he really need the "best" furniture. He has nothing, I 'm pretty sure he is ok with sale stuff.

So, bottom line, my grandma sucks.

Odds and Ends

My goodness I disappeared there for a few weeks. All sorts of crazy going on at work and at home.

• Ellie got her first tooth the day before Thanksgiving. Owen and Maddie didn't get a tooth until they were 8 1/2 months so she is clearly way smarter than them. She also chose that day to finally start liking solids.
• Thanksgiving was great, except for the screaming migraine I got just as dinner was served. So I ate quick and took a lortab and went to bed. Poor Bud had to clean up all by himself. But I had made enough mashed potatoes and gravy to last a week so that was awesome!
• Not awesome? My monthly friend came back. I did not miss that bitch. I was hoping that it would hold off for a few more months, I even waited to give Ellie solids until she was 6 months. Oh, well.
• We caught a group of students cheating and had to break up a whole ring cheating little asses. They are honors kids, so we were super frustrated with them. It created many hours of extra work, rewriting tests, giving new versions of exams.
• I have many letters of recommendation to write, which sucks. I am terrible at writing letters, and when I have to write them for Yale and Harvard I get all nervous. It is very stressful.
• Owen's teacher sent home a note today saying he went to the nurse's office today because he wasn't feeling well. He had no fever, but he seemed to struggle through the day. Does this mean we are suppose to keep him home? I don't think she knows he is a total hypochondriac. His stomach always hurts, he loves staying home sick. He does have a cough, but otherwise he runs around like normal. So I guess we will send him and feel like we are neglectful.

I still have some Christmas shopping to do. We don't know what to do about Ellie, technically I wouldn't bother giving her anything. But Owen and Maddie will be heartbroken if she doesn't get anything. So we are planning on finding stuff in the garage and wrapping it. Hopefully that will satisfy them.

How wrong?

Is it wrong to tell the children, every time they fight, a puppy dies?

Signs your child is not quite "normal"

This has been a difficult week. Ellie has been waking up a few times a night, she loses her pacifier and gets herself unwrapped. We are still swaddling her because she will pull the pacifier out and throw it across the room. You know that hysterical baby way they toss something, then realize, dude I totally want that. So if she is swaddled it takes longer for her to lose it. Which, when you are crawling under a crib feeling around for a clear pacifier, you want the longest interval possible. I don't even pretend to clean it off for her any more. A little dirt never hurt is my motto.

Which reminded me.... My family has always had a saying when you drop a fork, or pacifier or whatever " you have to eat a pound of dirt before you die". Which makes sense, why worry about every speck of dirt.

However, as a three year old I took this very differently. I thought it was more like a rule. I wondered what would happen if you didn't ingest enough dirt accidentally. What if I died young and hadn't eaten enough dirt? Would I be required to eat the remainder of the pound of dirt in one sitting? This concerned me quite a bit. So I decided the best course of action was to eat a spoon of dirt each day. This way, if I died at four or five I would have a head start on the bucket of dirt I was required to eat. I figured I would have to guess at how much dirt was in a pound, it sounded like a lot. I think I did this for a few weeks before my mom caught me. Then we had a long talk about figures of speech.

Notice how I never thought that if I never ate dirt I wouldn't die. Even at three that was a sort of optimism I couldn't even imagine. I don't know how I would respond to one of my kids explaining this thought process to me. A therapist? An exorcist? Sesame Street?

Bedtime Math

Teething + 6 month shots + gas = the suck of all hell - any sleep for parents



Good times

Trick or Treat Success!

And not a single person shit themselves!

Trick or Treat Fail

I never had a store bought costume while growing up. My mom would pull out the sewing machine and dad would make accessories like light sabers and wings from wire hangers. I was a clown, Holly Hobby, and a train engineer (fun). When I was 5 one of mom's friends offered to fix me up as a gypsy. With veils, and scarves and EYELINER. Holy crap, I was excited. I couldn't wait, it was going to be the best Halloween ever.

But I was not quite a normal kid, and apparently the week of excitement over the whole thing took a toll. As dress up time approached, my excitement peaked and I..... suffered some "intestinal issues" and spent the whole evening in the bathroom, crying. What 5 year-old gets themselves so worked up over a costume? This was the first of many times my anticipation got the best of me. I bet I was the only bride to take a precautionary Imodium the day of my wedding.