Terrible Fours??

I have started this post so many times, but I am determined to push through it today.  I have no idea what to do about Maddie.  Last year was tough with her, but she was three so we figured things would get better.   We thought starting preschool this year would help.  But the last few weeks have been a nightmare.

At school she is an angel, everyone there loves her.  They tell me how kind, and sweet and wonderful she is for them.  I don't know that girl, the girl I know is angry and stubborn and always on edge.  I see brief glimpses of the girl they know, but she is a fleeting image.  The girl I live with dominates the house with her frustration and anger. 

We are trying new behavior systems, Owen and Maddie each start the day with three magnets.  Fighting, or freak outs or tantrums result in the loss of a magnet.  Once they lose all three, they go to bed.  We keep track of how many they had at the end of the day and have a reward at the end of the week if they earned it.

On Monday, the first day, Maddie lost one in the car on the way home.  She was losing her shit because her artwork did not fit her homework folder.  When we got home she started her homework.  The assignment was to circle pictures that started with the letter M.  There was a bottle of medicine with a spoon next to it.  She knew medicine started with an M, but spoon started with an S so it shouldn't be circled.  BUT, there was no way to circle only the medicine without also touching the spoon.  We tried explaining that the spoon was part of the medicine.  No dice.  She started screaming and scribbling on the paper.  We finally had to take her to her room and leave her there until dinner.

When she traces her letters, she cries because she "can't write the letters perfectly".  Her grammar is very precise for her age.  She loses her mind when she can't do something "right".  We keep trying to explain, practice....blah, blah.

She is so mean to Ellie, she pushes her down, takes things away, has said she wants Ellie to be eaten by a monster.  I get the resentment, I do.  But lately she has been going into Ellie's room and waking her up from her naps.  Which just kills us, Ellie is super unpleasant without a nap.  She lashes out at Owen, hitting him, and scratching him until he bleeds.  He does torment her, and I think she waits until he doesn't expect it.  Which, I get.

What really gets to me, are her meltdowns.  She will lose her mind completely, even if she is getting her way.  Today she spent 20 minutes crying because she wanted to wear legging, and I said OK.  But she felt she was going to be to hot.  So I said, don't wear them.  Then she said but she wants to wear them.  Ok.  But what if she was to hot.  She argued with herself for 20 minutes.  I have no idea how to handle that.

Once she starts a meltdown there is no way to stop her.  I know this all sound like typical 4 year old stuff.  I can't put into words how it feels around here.  I wake up every morning wondering how bad things will get.  When we get to the end of the day at work, we dread coming home.  We just don't know how to help her, I am afraid we are doing it wrong and we will ruin her.

Should we get a child psychologist for her?  Should I drink more?  Maybe I could stay with my mom until Maddie is six? 

What have I been doing?

There has been a little of this:

And some of this:

Oh, so much of this:

And Hello!  Lots  of this:

She never stops moving.  She's like a shark, and she has also taken to biting.  I don't remember the other two being so climby.  She is kickin our asses on a daily hourly basis. 

Holy, Geezy Pete, I Finished!

You will now be subjected to pictures of THE QUILT. I think it was more work than giving birth, and took more hours than I can count.

But, it is pretty, yes?
This is an upclose of the quilting and the fabric. The dark purple looks black, but is actually a dark purple with flowers.

I am happy with how it turned out, but it does have numerous flaws. Bud threatened to beat me if I pointed them out to everyone, so I kept it to myself.

I was able to give it to her before we left PA and she seemed to really like it. It was a bit sad giving it away after all that work, but what can ya do?

I found out one of Bud's aunts is really into quilting and she showed me some of hers. They were absolutely gorgeous and all hand quilted. I might try hand quilting in the future, and also the applique that she does. It got me all motivated to try another. Everyone I know wants one, Owen really wants me to make one for him. I am thinking of making his and including his extensive button collection. He has a weird love of buttons and a giant jar of them. I think I could use some of them as embellishments. He loved the idea, so that is probably next.

I also want to make some baby quilts. I can practice new techniques and styles. I was thinking of donating those to a charity. We will see, I will keep you all annoyed with pictures.

The stupid things I do.

I haven't been around the internet for awhile. We have been busy having dinner with friends and keeping the kids entertained. We leave for PA next week for TEN days. I am nervous about the flight with the kids. We are staying at an aunt's house while she is out of town so that will be nice.

We will be going to for my sister-in-law's wedding. Bud is giving his sister away, and the girls will be walking down the aisle at some point. I still haven't found a dress to wear, I really have nothing to wear. I have a backup dress I saw at JC Penney that I can get in a pinch. My MIL keeps saying it is low key, but I just found out yesterday the yellow dress shirt I had for Owen won't work, it needs to be white. He isn't even in the wedding, he is a guest for the love of Pete. I'm not even asking about his pants, I am sure they will be wrong, but too bad.

The best part is our gift. Remember me talking about taking a quilting class?? Well, hey if you have never really made a whole quilt from start to finish, the best thing is to make your first one a wedding gift. I'm not even using a pattern, so I am just making it up as I go. I found some quilts I looked for on the internet, and just copied them but I had to guess at yardage on material. I am now busting my butt trying to finish before we leave. It has woken me up at night trying to figure out the best way to make the whole thing.

So I will be spending many hours over the sewing machine this week. I really want it to look nice for her. I think we should get a back up gift, just in case. Also, maybe we should give her money to supplement the gift. Gahhh

Random things with no universal theme

1) Update: Ellie can totally handle milk now! I don't understand how something can make a person barf for hours, can suddenly six months later be totally fine. Oh, well.

2) Bud and Owen went up to my brothers property to help build a cabin and camp. He took 1/3 of the kids, but only 1/8 of the work. ( don't as how long I spent deciding if I should use fractions or percentages, and what exact fraction of the work Owen actually entails) Maddie and I have had some nice one on one time. Mom took Ellie for a few hours so Maddie and I could shop and go to lunch. We also did a girl movie night with no boy movies. She has not seemed to miss the guys at all. When we were shopping at Target we got lunch at the snack bar. Maddie was a wreck because she was very hungry. The water was too cold, the chair was to far and the napkin wasn't folded in half. You can see how upsetting this is, right? So I told her that she was falling apart because she was hungry. At that point she clenched her fists and teeth and shrieked " I AM NOT FALLING APART!" Bwahhaaahaaa. The lady behind me burst into laughter. Three minutes after starting to eat lunch she was back to normal.


3) Bud and I are watching the first season of a show, maybe you heard of it?? West Wing?? It's awkward because I keep saying to Bud, " I think this is going to be a really good show." Well, duh, that's why it was on so long! Also there is no one to discuss it with because, Hello, 1999. Anyway, I like the show.

4) We leave later in the week to go to Disneyland. It will be the first time for the kids and I am really excited. We are having Ellie stay with my mom, otherwise one of us would have to sit out all the rides. I will miss her.

5) Ellie is finally starting to walk! Surely she is a protege. People always ask when babies are around 10 months if they are walking yet. I think babies who walk before 12 months are like unicorns. You hear about them but I don't think they exist in my family. Owen was over 14 months, Maddie was just after her first birthday and Ellie is getting close to 15 months. They get their superior physical skill from me.

6) Thank you all for your very supportive comments on my last post. It's nice to get non-teacher feelings and see that they are the same. It's encouraging that most parents are not crazy.

Destroying Lives.... One Child At A Time

V@led!ctor!an (from here on out referred to as V) is a big deal at our school, we usually have between 9 and 16 kids with a perfect GPA each year. As an AP teacher I will have a few of them in my class. At the end of third quarter one of my students had an 89%, I knew she was a V candidate and expected her to really pick things up the last quarter. But she didn't, 4 weeks before the end of the year I emailed her parents and informed administration she was likely to get a B. At that point she needed a 100% on everything including the final to get the A. I added some stuff in the last few weeks to give her (and others) more opportunities to bring up their grades. But she still got the B (87.7%).



She was in my room the last day of school crying for 2 hours. Her mom called me during that time and ripped me apart for about a half hour. She told me I could be an inspiration to her daughter and the whole family, that I didn't like her daughter and was trying to screw her over and that I don't care about any of my students, I am playing with lives. She saying if it was my child I would want the teacher to change the grade. I refrained from telling her, no if it was my kid I would want them to actually earn it themselves. Then when she was on the phone with her girl she told her I was just a bitch. The phone calls and emails kept up for three days. The mom kept saying the girl would do some extra project, which kills me. What about the other kids, how is that fair to them? I'm not going to give an opportunity to one kid and not others. gahhh

I got wind of a few people bashing me, a few of my students and a teacher, and that was frustrating. It irked me that it all fell on me, not so much the student. My administration was supportive, with the exception of one, so that was helpful. Overall, it was all very stressful and hurtful. I did get an email from another parent thanking me, I actually burst into tears when I read it.

If nothing else next years class will get wind of the fact that I don't "give" grades, you need to actually earn them.

I'm alive!

Everything went well yesterday. I filled out my papers, and only freaked a little when they asked about a living will. I got decked out in my fancy gear:

Bud had actually brought the camera to take crappy pictures of me. So sweet. But he waited on me hand and foot for the rest of the day so still a win for me.

I had nine injections, which the nurse thought was a lot. I was knocked out so that part was good. Then I did my usual coming out of anesthetic and raving about the awesome juice box. Best Juice EVAH. I ask them to write down the brand names. (generic) Then I laugh because I realize it is only the drugs that make every thing so awesome and tasty. I top my excellent behavior with telling all the nurses that I have never tried drugs so this is why I am so shocked at the tastyness of all the food. I bet those folks get lots of good stories.

When I downloaded pictures this morning I was surprised to see this one. I don't remember it at all.

Bud told the kids about the injections when we dropped them off at mom's house. He just told them I was getting shots in my neck and Owen lost it. It took 10 minutes to calm him down, he was weeping and really freaked out. Maddie seemed oblivious. When we got home I called Owen and told him I was ok and was "alrighty then, I got some swimming to do talk to you later". When Maddie got home she climbed on the couch with me and snuggled for 45 minutes, which she never does, she is not snuggly. So it was interesting to see how they each handled the situation. Of course Ellie is so self centered she didn't even notice. Babies!