Money Can't Buy Love, but Maybe Sleep

Ellie was always a good sleeper. From about 5 months you could read her a story, kiss her and put her into bed at 6:15 and she would sleep until 6:00 the next morning. (yes we were aware of our great luck) So awesome, but a few weeks after we put her into her new bed she got sick.  Everyone knows a kid getting sick is the worst thing ever for sleep.  She wouldn't sleep on her own, she woke up early, didn't want her door closed.

  By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan.  We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening.  She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming.  She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies.  I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown.  Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice.  If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts.  However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done.  I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough.  We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings.  But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den.  Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep.  (or drive, be nice to people)  Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds.  Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway.  Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.

Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful.  She cried all night, I cried all night.  But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open.  And she kept her word.  But she was still waking up at 4:30.  Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up?  Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK!  Enter the most expensive clock ever:


(from amazon)

We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later)  it turns green.  So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning.  So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well.  She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green.  Not ideal, but an improvement.  One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock.  So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.

OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough.  That totally won't eff up the program we have going.

Breaking Up

We just found out another couple we know are getting divorced.  It feels like an epidemic, but I am guessing we have just reached the age where it happens.  In the last two and half years we know 5 couples that have split up.

First was my best friend.  Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years.  It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.

Next, my cousin and his wife.  The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later.  They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents.  Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain.  She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up.  She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere.  Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders  and knees replaced multiple times already.  So you know, he left her after 16 years.  For another woman.  He is an asshole.

Then my aunt and uncle.  They were married 29 years.  He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed.  When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone.  He had to call his dad and tell him.  My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers.  He had no idea.  He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated.   We still don't know her deal. 

Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer.  We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before.  It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks. 

And now our friends.  Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old.  Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart.  They had a girl, A,  two months before we had Maddie.  When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together.  Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope  the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.

Being a grown-up is stupid.   

Happy Holidays

Well, that was fun right?  I just love Christmas, and I think this might have been the last year all three kids would be into Santa.  Owen told us before Christmas that Santa must be real because we would never spend that much money on presents.  I think next year he will be a bit more sceptical. 

We had a great time baking and cooking, decorating the house.  The kids did a good job buying gifts for each other.  Maddie and Owen seemed to really get the idea of picking something the other would actually want.    It has been fun watching them get along a bit better as they have more in common with her starting to read. 

The only bump this year was Ellie, she started being afraid of the dark beginning of October and hasn't slept well since then.  It's like having a newborn again, and I don't do sleep deprivation well.  We are working on retraining her again, booooo.  I am crushed by exhaustion, but I think we are finally making progress.

What was your favorite moment this season?? 

Mine is this:

They both used a pastry bag, and had so much fun putting these together.  Sadly, Santa loved them so much he took them back to the North Pole with him (the trains, not the kids). 

Updates in bullet fashion

• I talked with Owen's teacher, apparently 3rd grade is for serious with the writing.  They want main ideas and supporting sentences.  Whatever.  Also, he has timed math tests, 50 problems in a minute which seems a bit much to me.  His teacher is also not fond of them but, that is what their grade level does.  ( Karma knocks...I have my algebra 1 kids do timed tests, but they have 50 problems in a minute and a half.)  He is being tested again for GATE this month, he tested in April but missed the cut-off, and the teacher wants to test him again.  Personally, I don't care, but Owen has his heart set on it.  So I am crossing my fingers for him, because the weeping will kill me.  He sent me an email (he can email us and grandparents) one night, this was his email

Mom  I keep having nightmares that I am blind.  and I can't hear. then I die :(

           It is the saddest most hilarious email ever.  I know I shouldn't laugh but the frowny face is what really kills me.

• Kindergarten is killing Maddie.  Ok, just the lack of naps, everyday she comes home a  frazzled mess.  I don't think it is just the sleep, she still sucks her thumb but only with her kitties when she is laying down.  I think she is also missing a little quiet time by herself.  She is one of the few five year olds who frequently tell people she need a little alone time.  She has had her ups and downs since I wrote this.  Honestly, the comments were all helpful, but Swistle's comment about validating and compromising were smack my head helpful.  I don't care for it when Bud tells me my problems are no big deal, why would Maddie?  Note to self:  my children are people.  I should put that on a sticky note.  She is starting to be able to pull herself out of the nosedive of despair, and if all else fails we send her to her room and she falls asleep.  One night she fell asleep at 5:45 and didn't wake up until 7:00, she was magical that day.
• Ellie went for a trifecta this October, her daycare closed for 2 days for a wedding, she got strep and while on antibiotics, she got a viral thing (hand, foot and mouth?).  She moved into her big girl bed:

Owl quilt!

We started off with the mattress and box spring but she fell out a few times so now she just has a mattress.  She just loves the bed, she will lay in bed on the weekend for 30 minutes just enjoying her bed.  She calls it her "good girl bed", so I guess the crib made her feel like a bad girl.

Faith Shaken

Well, found out I don't have to testify tomorrow.  I don't really understand all of it, but I guess the pharmacy agreed with the charges.  The pharmacy board decided it was a store issue and not a pharmacist issue, so they dropped the complaint against her.  I reminded them that the pharmacy manager looked at the pills with her eyeballs, and said they were the right medication.  That seems like the definition of the pharmacists fault.  So nothing happens to the pharmacist, the pharmacy has to pay a $1000 fine and they have to participate in trainings.

I feel a bit deflated.  I am having a tough time for some reason.  Not that I wanted any one's head on a platter, but something a bit more severe would have been nice.  I guess I did what I could right?

Anxiety

Owen is not transitioning well to 3rd grade.  We are not super fond of his teacher, she is very much about punishing people.  He is shy and anxious, his teacher last year really seemed able to bring out the best in him.  He is flaky and flighty, and I don't know how to get him more focused.  I sent his teacher an email to get suggestions from her, but haven't heard anything back yet.  I spent half an hour crafting my email, trying to convey that we are concerned, we aren't blaming her, but also she maybe need to focus on him a bit. 

He has been having dreams about us dying, so I know that school is making him upset.  He has an ipod touch, and he is allowed to email us and his grandparents, last week he sent me an email from bed saying he keeps having a nightmare about being blind, and he can't hear... and then he dies.  So clearly, mother of the year over here.

I am on a committee at his school and my job is to organize the volunteers to sell tickets.  I have to coordinate with a mom, who seems determined to not understand what I mean.  I explained the days I need volunteers, and gave her a sign up sheet with all the days and times.  She made a new sheet with only one day.  Then when I asked her about it she said her class would only do one day and I would have to find someone else to do the others.  Unfortunately she informed of this a week before I need people.  I hate having to talk to people I don't know, then to have them ignore me and have to keep addressing them on it is really stressful.

Also, remember my pharmacy issue?  I have to testify to the governing board on Wednesday.  Gahhhhh

Who Knew??

Pickles could be so easy...

I went with Catherine Newman's pickle recipe.   She has never failed me yet and I figured it was worth a try.  Best pickles ever.  Sadly we only got 6 cucumbers, I am hoping for more tomorrow, because I have more dill.