Saturday, January 21, 2012

Money Can't Buy Love, but Maybe Sleep

Ellie was always a good sleeper. From about 5 months you could read her a story, kiss her and put her into bed at 6:15 and she would sleep until 6:00 the next morning. (yes we were aware of our great luck) So awesome, but a few weeks after we put her into her new bed she got sick.  Everyone knows a kid getting sick is the worst thing ever for sleep.  She wouldn't sleep on her own, she woke up early, didn't want her door closed.

  By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan.  We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening.  She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming.  She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies.  I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown.  Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice.  If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts.  However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done.  I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough.  We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings.  But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den.  Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep.  (or drive, be nice to people)  Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds.  Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway.  Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.

Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful.  She cried all night, I cried all night.  But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open.  And she kept her word.  But she was still waking up at 4:30.  Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up?  Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK!  Enter the most expensive clock ever:

American Innovative Teach Me Time Talking Alarm Clock and Nightlight
(from amazon)

We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later)  it turns green.  So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning.  So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well.  She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green.  Not ideal, but an improvement.  One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock.  So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.

OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough.  That totally won't eff up the program we have going.

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Breaking Up

We just found out another couple we know are getting divorced.  It feels like an epidemic, but I am guessing we have just reached the age where it happens.  In the last two and half years we know 5 couples that have split up.

First was my best friend.  Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years.  It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.

Next, my cousin and his wife.  The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later.  They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents.  Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain.  She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up.  She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere.  Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders  and knees replaced multiple times already.  So you know, he left her after 16 years.  For another woman.  He is an asshole.

Then my aunt and uncle.  They were married 29 years.  He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed.  When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone.  He had to call his dad and tell him.  My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers.  He had no idea.  He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated.   We still don't know her deal. 

Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer.  We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before.  It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks. 

And now our friends.  Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old.  Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart.  They had a girl, A,  two months before we had Maddie.  When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together.  Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope  the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.

Being a grown-up is stupid.