Spotlight

OMG, people are looking at me, and I am all self-conscious. Why aren't I funnier, more interesting, more insightful? Does this font make me look fat? Gahhhhh. Don't these two look like they need another sibling?

I appreciate everyone taking the time to look overhere, and thanks to Swistle for mentioning me. She rocks.

Breaking Up

Etiquette question.

Last month I found the perfect hair style. I stalked a lady and took pictures of her hair, and asked her friend if it would look good on me. I am that desperate. Anyway, I took said pictures of hair to my hairstylist of 3 years. And got a cut similar. It is a cute cut but not what I had asked for and showed with a PICTURE. Seriously, there are chunks sort of missing behind my ears. Like the back of my head and front of my head have two different styles, that just don't blend in the middle. Also, in the pic, her hair was an inch below her chin. He said "oh chin length" and cut it up to my ears. Anyway, it is a good cut, he really does a good job with the cutting, not so much the listening. My mom goes to the same guy, and everytime he ignores what she says and does whatever he wants. It looks good, just not what she wanted.

A coworker's husband is a hair stylist and I have heard he is fabulous. I am thinking of cheating on my stylist. Do I have to tell him I am breaking up with him? Can I just stop calling him? Also my mom want to break up too, so she won't have any awkward questions. Should I give him another chance?

Target, I am your b&@*h

I love Target, so so much. I went last night and found some great boys shorts for $2.24, so I picked up a few pair for Owen. They are a bit big, but since we can wear shorts here until November, then start up again in March, I think he will get plenty of wear out of them. They should fit next year unless he gains a lot of weight, which seems unlikely. I got him a few t-shirts that were $1.24 each and a sweatshirt for $1.01. I also picked up a few shorts and shirts for his cousins birthday. I picked out some summer outfits for my niece for next year, I can give them to her for Christmas. I got her a cute little polo shirt for $1.24 and some shorts for $1.98. Sadly I couldn't find a lot for Maddie for next year. I would have bought most of her clothes for next summer if I could have found more in her size.

Currently, I have to drive 15 minutes to get to a Target I am not that fond of, the layout is confusing for me. Or I can drive 20 minutes to the one by my mom. But... there is a new one opening by our house in 2 weeks. I can't wait, I plan to spend a good part of opening day there. But there will be no clearance.

Owen has had some real bed wetting issues. And by issues, I mean every. single. night. For a long time he would not wear pull-ups. We finally got him to wear the Goodnights, we called them boxer shorts. Now we are using the new Underjams. He has super sensitive skin, and they rub against his legs. My solution? He wears boxer brief underwear under the "boxer shorts". Anyway, on our vacation he stayed dry for eight whole nights, he was so happy, we were puzzled, we expected some sort of tapering off. Well, the last three nights he has woken up wet. He is so bummed about it. I'm wondering if sleeping on the floor in a strange place kept him from sleeping as deeply as he does at home. I wish I could help him somehow. We talked to his pediatrician and he said it is just an issue of maturation. I think this is why he keeps telling us he doesn't feel like he is five. Well it has to get better eventually, right?

How Do I Know?

I have two beautiful children (confirmed by outside sources) who on occasion make me crazy and usually make me exhausted. And for some reason I want another..... I can't explain it not even to my husband. But I need to try because the decision needs to be made soon. Our son just turned 5 and our daughter turned 2, I am 37 so the window is closing. Maybe throwing it out here will help me get a handle on it.



Owen is learning how to swim, even though he is nervous about the water he gets such a big smile on his face while he is paddling towards me, his joy in his accomplishment is undeniable. The other night he started crying when the movie he watched for a second time in three hours ended. When we asked what was wrong he said "sometimes when you watch a beautiful thing twice it makes you cry". He has been writing on every piece of paper he finds "I love my mom I love my Dad" then these pieces of paper find their way onto a dresser or counter or purse to surprise us later.



Maddie is learning how to skip, she runs from the kitchen to the living room and every other step she throws in a little hop and a huge smile. When she got home yesterday she bounded through the door ran through the house and started asking "where Owen?" She loves spending time with him, even though he torments her. When she asks her dad for something she lays her head on his lap with a smile to ask for it, where did she learn that? And when she asks for kisses she says "mama piss face, mama piss cheek".



Everyday is magical with them, how can I just say that's enough magic for me, I'm good for a lifetime. My husband says it doesn't matter how many kids we have I will feel the same. And he has a point....logically I can see it, but my heart just aches for another pregnancy. That first time you feel the baby kick, seeing their feet on the ultrasound, their old man face and scrunchy eyes when they are born, the ripply thighs and secret compartment neck folds. How does anyone stop?



When I think of Christmas thirty years from now, I feel another person there, it just feels like there is one more child waiting for us. Does that sound crazy? Anytime I mention a third child people act like I am crazy. They point out we have a boy and a girl, what more could we ask for, as if, because we have filled the gender slots we have nothing left to experience. Is it greedy to want more? Will our children suffer because we won't have as much money for them for college if we have another child?



My husband is happy with two. He compared the difference between two and three kids to the difference between buying ten acres and buying Kansas. However, he understands how much I would like another and is willing because he loves me. This makes me feel a lot of pressure, like I'm the only one making the decision.

Sometimes I see the wisdom in just two kids, especially when they are fighting with each other and Bud has class. If two drive me nuts does it make sense to have another? Also pumping at work....gahhhhhhh. Also having to lose the weight ago (ok still). But I think it is just cold feet because it is such a huge decision, and again, why am I allowed to make these life altering choices? Where are the grown-ups.

We have to have a sit down soon and make the final decision soon. I am a teacher and because of my AP classes both of my kids were born in May, after my AP kids take their exam and close enough to the end of the year that my maternity leave rolls right into summer. Then the babes were about 4 months before I went back to work. It worked well for both the other kids, but is it too much to have 3 May birthdays? Will this make people think we only like each other in August?

Oh, Internet tell me what to do. Like a magic eight ball!