Rage

My cutie cute nephew came to spend the night with us. He and my son are only 10 weeks apart in age, so they are bet o'friends. Sadly I think little T didn't get the experience he expected. When the kids asked to watch a movie... my response "can't anyone just leave me alone for 3 minutes" (with maybe a little spit and a lot of bitchy) Then while trying to verify an email address for classes I want to take, it asked for my authorization code. But I was NOT given a code in the email. WTF So I sent off a snippy email, stating that maybe giving a person their code would facilitate the authorization process. We Bud came down a few minutes later I was crying fixing dinner. Unfortunately, for the counter, when he asked why I had a can opener in my hand and I proceeded to beat said can opener on the counter top while pissing and moaning about the authorization code, and the kids and why was everyone breathing so loud and why is the sun so bright and why the f*&k do I want to beat everyone?

What is it about that "special time" that makes me batshit crazy (and also stand in the pantry eating out of boxes)? Only on the second day. I know I am being crazy, which just makes it worse. Bud kindly suggested that I get my crazy ass out of the house for a few hours, before the kids needed expensive therapy. So I went to my mom's and vented, but mostly just sat and enjoyed the quiet. She is past that phase in her life so she doesn't really remember feeling this way. I find myself being so frustrated I want to open cabinets and throw everything on the floor to express my anger. And every month I am surprised by the hormone wave anew. So this is a reminder to myself. When the friend shows up, stay away from people the next day. Also buy more popcorn.