Getting to know me

Here are some random things about me 

What is your dream job?  Teaching

When have you seen Karma at work in your life?  Anytime I have done something snarky, or mean.

What was the first thing you learned to cook?  My great- grandmothers coffee cake

What book can you read over and over again?  I love To Kill a Mockingbird

What makes you feel young?  Plastic surgery?

Did you ever work at an on campus job? What was it?  I tutored Math in college, which is why I became a math teacher

What was your first paying job?  Babysitting, but my first regular job was at Bonanza family restaurant.

What is the strangest food you have ever eaten?

What in your life is more important than money?  Most things, we are comfortable, and can fix the car if it breaks down.  Good enough for me.

Then I got tired of these questions.  Currently, I am really into Owls, cadbury Mini eggs, cinnamon candies, most baked goods.  (Mostly food it seems!)  I love cooking, baking and teaching my kids to cook. 

This is all I can think of for now.

Is February Over Yet?

Our house in being referred to as a factory of sickness, by our friends, so that is pretty much February.  I got the flu at the end of January, but it rolled on into February.  Then Ellie broke out in a wretched looking rash that the doctor thought was scabies, but was in fact really bad eczema.  Then she parlayed that into strep, with a strep rash.  So she was pretty scabby and rashy for a bit, which really helped her 3 year old behavior.  ( honestly, why do they give teenagers a stupid egg to take care of, give them a 3 year old, they will never have sex again)  Owen got sent home from school on Tuesday, missed Wednesday which was a field trip, and Thursday which was Valentine's Day.  I can only assume Maddie will get sick next week to really set the tone for the month.

On the plus side, my dad is visiting, which is fun.  He was also willing to stay home with a sick kid, saving us from having to get a substitute.  He brought many jars of homemade jam, and our Christmas meat.  Which sounds strange, but every year he gets a cow and pig butchered and splits it between my family and my brother's family.  Which saves us a lot of money, and gives our children the impression that fine T-bone steaks happen on the regular.  I envision them at college asking "what is this ramen you speak of, can't we have a pork shoulder?".  Side note, Bud got a smoker for his birthday so we are pretty much smoking all the meats.

Lest you be jealous, we did have a lot of water leaking from our walls a few weeks ago. We had to have a bunch of ceiling and wall cut out to fix the leak and replace all the dry wall.  Turns out the builder of our house put a nail through some water line and it finally rusted enough to leak.  The builder also went out of business, so we can't even complain to them.

So February is a mixed bag of water, meat and sickness.  Well, that is some imagery right there!

Norman Rockwell Day

This has been a crap school year so far*.  I feel like a first year teacher.  But today I got an email that I had a package at the front office.  It is from the host family for a foreign exchange students, and it was awesome.  They got me an entire box of paper, and a whole bag of fun stuff, like highlighters, and pens and hand sanitizer, and kleenex (name brand even!).  It was like a surprise CDP.  So awesome.  They did this for each one of his teachers, I can't imagine how much it cost.  I guess they did it last week for their own son's teachers.  The mom had been complaining to the teachers that it is BS that we have to buy so much stuff on our own.  As you all know it isn't the stuff, just that she thought of us.  I really needed it this week.

And then as if that wasn't enough, 2 of the 3 children ate a ton of dinner.  I made Chow Mein Casserole, and Owen loved the meat, Maddie loved the noodles so they joyfully SHARED with each other.  After dinner they all played nicely together and made each other laugh.  I could cry it was all so nice.  (ok, maybe my period is due soon, whatev)  Oh, and the cleaning lady came today so the house is actually clean for a few hours.  Seriously, perfect storm of awesome.

* Over the summer an incoming freshman found out she had cancer and died the week before school started.  Five days before school started a student went missing, many others were looking for him and two day later was found dead.  (not putting circumstances to avoid google finding me, but not foul play)  Then a week into the school year a student was kidnapped from her home. (found safe, thank all the deities you want)  For reals this is the craziest thing ever.  We assume this means the school was cursed in some fashion, hopefully it is over.

Chameleon

We have noticed a weird thing with Ellie's eyes lately.  They don't always... point the same direction.  Sometimes it is very subtle, other times pretty noticeable.  So we talked to her pediatrician at her 3 year well visit.  He suggested a pediatric ophthalmologist.  We haven't gone yet for a few reasons.  1) I have to call them 2) we only have one listed for our insurance so 3) does it have to be pediatric or could it be any ophthalmologist? I also am sure that we will take her and they won't see anything weird and once we are in the car she will do it again.

I also worry they will make her wear an eye patch.  Which I am fine with in theory, except she won't do it, and I will have to fight all the time with her about it.  On the plus side, she could be a pirate for Halloween.  Why can't I just send them an email, rather than call them for an appointment?  Or why can't the stay open later so I have time for a fortifying margarita before I call?

On another medical note.  I have a lot of migraines, and headaches blah blah.  Acupuncture?  Should I try it?

CDP

Back in April (?) I participated in the CDP exchange thanks to Doing My Best.  It was so fun, I loved picking things out for my person.  It is so exciting, hoping the stuff you liked will be something to bring a smile to someone else.  I loved the stuff in my package, sadly there are no pictures because I ate all the candy, and was too excited about the lip gloss to go get my camera.  There were so many little fun things to open, I am a huge fan of lots of little gifts.  I also found new things I hadn't tried before like cinnamon gummy bears, yummy, I just bought more yesterday.

One of these little gifts gave me an idea, it was a package of cute pens, which I love.  Teachers universally love school supplies. At the beginning of the year, we cruise other classrooms to see what other folks bought over the summer.  Cool post-it notes, magnets, and pens are fun.  Then I put it all together!  Teacher gifts are a nightmare for everyone, even teachers.  Why not make a CDP a teacher gift?  I know it is early for this but hear me out.  By Christmas all of our new supplies are either lost or have run out.  To get a box of fun school supplies that are all fresh and new smelling would be awesome.  Right now all that stuff will be on sale dirt cheap.  You can get a ruler for a penny at some places!  Think of all the random stuff you can buy super cheap, and you probably have more time for it right now than you will in November (or December 17th ish if you are me).  One of the best gifts I ever got from a kid (well his mom) was a huge package of post-its, they are multicolored and I have been using them for 2 years and still have a bunch left. 

I have already purchased little lip balms at Bath and Body Works, and will keep my eye out for other fun things as I shop for the kids school supplies.  I can even buy some of the things in bulk and divide them between the different teachers (and me).  I can imagine the teachers in January, having a bad day, pulling out a little gift and opening something fun to cheer them up.

Editing to add suggestions.  The teachers I know love: binder clips, various colors of dry erase markers, magnets, thumbtacks, stickers.  Elementary teachers seem to need "junk" for the treasure box in their class room.  If you have suggestions leave them in the comments, or if you have seen a great deal on something spread the word.  Remember, some things can be divided, buy a bunch of thumbtacks and put them in a few different containers for different teachers or save some for next year.

Just the two of us

Bud and the two older kids are away for a week.  Which leaves just me and Ellie, I am using this time to potty train her.  The other two kids were very easy, we just left them alone and around three they just started asking to use the toilet.  Ellie is not as easy.  So I finally resorted to a combination of sticker chart, chocolate and pretty panties as a reward.  Still no luck, but then we did exchanging stickers from the chart for nail painting.  And bada bing, that was the key.  So far in the last 24 hours, one accident and seven successful potty excursions.  So there ya go, every kid is a freak, you just need to figure out what kind of freak.  Although we have now painted everything, so we will see.  At least it is a start.

It is weird having the two of us here.  I should be enjoying it, but I can't sleep when Bud isn't here.  I go to bed at midnight and lay there for awhile, then wake up every hour or so.  I will be glad to see him and hopefully sleep well.  They are having a blast up in Montana.  It started as a trip for Owen to go see my dad and run around waving sticks.  Maddie was disappointed, so Owen went up then 5 days later Bud and Maddie went.  I think it is good for the kids to get to run around and get dirty without me nagging them about not ruining their clothes or getting hurt.  You need to get away from mom sometimes. 

Well, time to hit the potty again! 

Unprepared

I took a variety of classes when becoming a teacher, math classes, pedagogy classes, classes about classroom management, as well as a semester of student teaching.  It doesn't take long to see that there are many things we don't learn in the classroom.  They never prepared me for the emotional toll of teaching.

This year has been especially hard.  We have many students suffering from financial hardships lately.  We have a designated room with donated clothes, food, personal hygiene items to help out families.  Staff members have contacts with different resources, and are able to refer families whenever needed. We expect these things during an economic crisis. 

What you don't expect is to see a former student's obituary in the paper.  It is the third student I have lost in 14 years.  He had two small children.

You don't expect to have a 16 year old who lost her father five years ago to cancer, find out that her mom has cancer...again.  I watch her floundering, because her older sister has gone to college, and she has very little support system. 

You don't expect a girl to get a text in your class telling her that her mother, who she thought was recovering, is dying. 

You don't expect to find that another students parents have spent his entire college fund... on cancer treatment for his mom.  Which didn't work, so now, no college and also mom is dying.  And his little brother is friends with Owen.

You don't expect your colleague to come to you because one of her students isn't returning after spring break because he is in a coma.

I feel so powerless, I can't fix things for these kids.  I have spent so much time crying for these kids, it breaks my heart.  I don't think people understand how emotionally draining teaching can be, both for the good and bad.

I have a student that I first had as a freshman, he is just a great kid.  He isn't the top kid in class, but he is sweet and funny and kind.  I have him now as a senior, I know he isn't 4 year college material, so  I was overjoyed to find out  two weeks ago that he has a great opportunity playing sports in a different country.  He will get paid, and his housing is paid and he will get 2 years of vocational training.  I am so happy for him.  Then Friday he came to me crying because his family had 5 days to move out of their home.  He is now homeless.  He will be staying with friends, and the rest of his family will scatter to stay with various people.  He still has to buy his plane ticket, and is hoping he can get some money from his dad to buy it. 

For a change this is something tangible that can be fixed.  An assistant principal, another teacher and I are going to buy the ticket for him.  I can't keep people from dying but I can throw a few hundred in to help a kid.  I wish I could do more, but I am happy that I work with people who will go out of their way to help kids out.

This is why teachers need summer vacation.  By the end of the year you are emotionally raw, when the next year starts I will have scabs and scars, only to start the whole thing over again.

Dreams and Update

You know how you sometimes have a dream about your spouse and wake up mad?  I guess Bud had one of those last night.  He dreamt I was in a car accident and had to go to the hospital.  I didn't call him to let him know where I was, and he heard it from a co-worker.  I guess I had a broken nose, and I just went to work when I got released.  As he was telling me about it, he was getting all pissy about it.  Hilarious.



So the Tae Kwon Do class was fun.  There were only eight people there, and there were 5 different instructors so they rotated around a lot.  There was a lot of individual attention which was good.  My issue is that I am an ass.  I just have a hard time with the whole bow before stepping foot on the mat, and all the yes, sirs and what not.  I get a little eye-rolley with that sort of thing.  I understand the purpose, but I just..  can't do it.  I kept making jokes, and they just looked stone faced.  (not stoned face, that would be different)  Also it costs $125 a month, which seems a bit expensive.  But I did go, and talked to people I didn't know, so that was a win.

Nervous

Owen's school does a family fitness night, we went last week and had a blast.  They have people come in and teach a few minutes of some different classes.  For this reason I may have accidentally signed up for a Tae Kwon Do class tonight.  I am so nervous about the whole thing.

A)  I have to talk to people I don't know
B)  I have to drive there
C)  See A
D)  They will try to sign me up for classes that are expensive.  I don't know how expensive.  Also
E)  See A
F) I will probably fall down

Gahhhh.  I am also excited, it is an adult class so I won't be shown up by a bunch of  7-year olds.

Alone Time

I had 2 hours to myself, and I used it to weed out and sort toys.  I also washed everyone stuffed animals. Better luck next time.  Of course, Bud was at my brothers house doing yard work.  We really should look into have "fun".  Also, why isn't there anything good on when the kids are not around?

I should have used the time to read on my new Kindle Fire.  It was my birthday present from Bud, he did a great job coordinating everyone.   His mom got me a cover and other accessories, and everyone else got me amazon gift cards.  My only complaint?  I put one of the giftcards on my amazon account, when our subscribe and save diapers automatically ordered, it was taken off my gift card.  Boooo.  Oh, and I felt that the Fire was over kill, who needs an iphone, laptop and a Fire?  But then my laptop got funky.  It kept giving an error message that no hard drive was found.  But now it's working again.  Who knows?  I hear children in the driveway. Crap

Money Can't Buy Love, but Maybe Sleep

Ellie was always a good sleeper. From about 5 months you could read her a story, kiss her and put her into bed at 6:15 and she would sleep until 6:00 the next morning. (yes we were aware of our great luck) So awesome, but a few weeks after we put her into her new bed she got sick.  Everyone knows a kid getting sick is the worst thing ever for sleep.  She wouldn't sleep on her own, she woke up early, didn't want her door closed.

  By Christmas Break the shit hit the fan.  We had to sit in her room for an hour or so at night for her to fall asleep, then no one was allowed to make any noise for the rest of the evening.  She would wake up 2, 4, 78 times each night and start screaming.  She was afraid of the dark, being alone, her investment strategies.  I don't operate well without sleep and I kind of had a nervous breakdown.  Bud and I agree in Parental Theory, not so much practice.  If a child is sick I will tend to them as long as needed, grumpily, but it still counts.  However, once I start feeling manipulated, I am done.  I think the dimmer lights on halfway, the mushroom nightlight, the ladybug nightlight and the hall light are enough.  We had put the baby gate at her doorway, same as for her older siblings.  But she would just kick that bad boy down like a cop sweeping a drug den.  Eventually, I told Bud we just had to be tough and lock her in...I know, I know but seriously I can't do my job with no sleep.  (or drive, be nice to people)  Bud agreed in words, but not in deeds.  Then he said he didn't think it would work anyway.  Then one day I lost my mind and started crying in her room from 3:00 am until 4:00 am, she was also keeping Maddie awake all night and a 5 year old shouldn't be complaining to her friends about not getting enough rest.

Finally, we did it and it was freaking awful.  She cried all night, I cried all night.  But the next night she promised not to cry if we kept the door open.  And she kept her word.  But she was still waking up at 4:30.  Honestly, how is a toddler suppose to know when it is ok to get up?  Sometimes they get up when it is dark (6:00) and its fine, sometimes the get up when its dark (3:30) and it is NOT! OK!  Enter the most expensive clock ever:


(from amazon)

We set the night light for 7:00 pm and it is yellow, at a time we determine (5:30 we'll change later)  it turns green.  So we remind her every night when the clock is yellow stay in bed, when it's green you can tell us it is morning.  So far we have used it for a week, and she has done well.  She woke up a few mornings, and we could hear her playing until it turned green.  Not ideal, but an improvement.  One morning she slept until 6:15, I nearly made out with the clock.  So as most things with a kid every solution has many parts, and some of those are expensive.

OH, and she is sick again, with a hacking cough.  That totally won't eff up the program we have going.

Breaking Up

We just found out another couple we know are getting divorced.  It feels like an epidemic, but I am guessing we have just reached the age where it happens.  In the last two and half years we know 5 couples that have split up.

First was my best friend.  Their relationship was rocky from the start, but they were together for 18 years.  It seemed like they had gotten past the rough times and things had finally settled, but apparently not.

Next, my cousin and his wife.  The got married at 18, had a baby at 20, and another 2 years later.  They had financial troubles off and on, so they lived with his parents.  Just after they had their second child, she was diagnosed with a non-cancerous tumor in her brain.  She had it removed, but the steroids messed her up.  She gained a lot of weight, which she eventually lost, but she had stretch marks everywhere.  Her joints were all shot, she has had her hips, shoulders  and knees replaced multiple times already.  So you know, he left her after 16 years.  For another woman.  He is an asshole.

Then my aunt and uncle.  They were married 29 years.  He was in Japan for work, when he got a text from a neighbor asking why there was a moving truck at his house. He called is oldest son, who went over ASAP afraid they were being robbed.  When he got there all his mom's stuff was gone.  He had to call his dad and tell him.  My Uncle got home the next day, an hour after getting home he was served divorce papers.  He had no idea.  He had thought the last year had been the best of their marriage, he was devastated.   We still don't know her deal. 

Then Bud's work wife left her husband this summer.  We had just had them over for dinner a few weeks before.  It was so weird, the divorce was final in like 5 weeks. 

And now our friends.  Their son J started daycare with Owen when they were 11 months old.  Their birthdays are 3 weeks apart.  They had a girl, A,  two months before we had Maddie.  When the boys were 4 they went to preschool and kindergarten together.  Now Maddie and A are best friends at the same preschool and kindergarten. I just hope  the kids are taking it ok, I think we might try to have a sleep over soon.

Being a grown-up is stupid.   

Happy Holidays

Well, that was fun right?  I just love Christmas, and I think this might have been the last year all three kids would be into Santa.  Owen told us before Christmas that Santa must be real because we would never spend that much money on presents.  I think next year he will be a bit more sceptical. 

We had a great time baking and cooking, decorating the house.  The kids did a good job buying gifts for each other.  Maddie and Owen seemed to really get the idea of picking something the other would actually want.    It has been fun watching them get along a bit better as they have more in common with her starting to read. 

The only bump this year was Ellie, she started being afraid of the dark beginning of October and hasn't slept well since then.  It's like having a newborn again, and I don't do sleep deprivation well.  We are working on retraining her again, booooo.  I am crushed by exhaustion, but I think we are finally making progress.

What was your favorite moment this season?? 

Mine is this:

They both used a pastry bag, and had so much fun putting these together.  Sadly, Santa loved them so much he took them back to the North Pole with him (the trains, not the kids). 

Updates in bullet fashion

• I talked with Owen's teacher, apparently 3rd grade is for serious with the writing.  They want main ideas and supporting sentences.  Whatever.  Also, he has timed math tests, 50 problems in a minute which seems a bit much to me.  His teacher is also not fond of them but, that is what their grade level does.  ( Karma knocks...I have my algebra 1 kids do timed tests, but they have 50 problems in a minute and a half.)  He is being tested again for GATE this month, he tested in April but missed the cut-off, and the teacher wants to test him again.  Personally, I don't care, but Owen has his heart set on it.  So I am crossing my fingers for him, because the weeping will kill me.  He sent me an email (he can email us and grandparents) one night, this was his email

Mom  I keep having nightmares that I am blind.  and I can't hear. then I die :(

           It is the saddest most hilarious email ever.  I know I shouldn't laugh but the frowny face is what really kills me.

• Kindergarten is killing Maddie.  Ok, just the lack of naps, everyday she comes home a  frazzled mess.  I don't think it is just the sleep, she still sucks her thumb but only with her kitties when she is laying down.  I think she is also missing a little quiet time by herself.  She is one of the few five year olds who frequently tell people she need a little alone time.  She has had her ups and downs since I wrote this.  Honestly, the comments were all helpful, but Swistle's comment about validating and compromising were smack my head helpful.  I don't care for it when Bud tells me my problems are no big deal, why would Maddie?  Note to self:  my children are people.  I should put that on a sticky note.  She is starting to be able to pull herself out of the nosedive of despair, and if all else fails we send her to her room and she falls asleep.  One night she fell asleep at 5:45 and didn't wake up until 7:00, she was magical that day.
• Ellie went for a trifecta this October, her daycare closed for 2 days for a wedding, she got strep and while on antibiotics, she got a viral thing (hand, foot and mouth?).  She moved into her big girl bed:

Owl quilt!

We started off with the mattress and box spring but she fell out a few times so now she just has a mattress.  She just loves the bed, she will lay in bed on the weekend for 30 minutes just enjoying her bed.  She calls it her "good girl bed", so I guess the crib made her feel like a bad girl.

Faith Shaken

Well, found out I don't have to testify tomorrow.  I don't really understand all of it, but I guess the pharmacy agreed with the charges.  The pharmacy board decided it was a store issue and not a pharmacist issue, so they dropped the complaint against her.  I reminded them that the pharmacy manager looked at the pills with her eyeballs, and said they were the right medication.  That seems like the definition of the pharmacists fault.  So nothing happens to the pharmacist, the pharmacy has to pay a $1000 fine and they have to participate in trainings.

I feel a bit deflated.  I am having a tough time for some reason.  Not that I wanted any one's head on a platter, but something a bit more severe would have been nice.  I guess I did what I could right?

Anxiety

Owen is not transitioning well to 3rd grade.  We are not super fond of his teacher, she is very much about punishing people.  He is shy and anxious, his teacher last year really seemed able to bring out the best in him.  He is flaky and flighty, and I don't know how to get him more focused.  I sent his teacher an email to get suggestions from her, but haven't heard anything back yet.  I spent half an hour crafting my email, trying to convey that we are concerned, we aren't blaming her, but also she maybe need to focus on him a bit. 

He has been having dreams about us dying, so I know that school is making him upset.  He has an ipod touch, and he is allowed to email us and his grandparents, last week he sent me an email from bed saying he keeps having a nightmare about being blind, and he can't hear... and then he dies.  So clearly, mother of the year over here.

I am on a committee at his school and my job is to organize the volunteers to sell tickets.  I have to coordinate with a mom, who seems determined to not understand what I mean.  I explained the days I need volunteers, and gave her a sign up sheet with all the days and times.  She made a new sheet with only one day.  Then when I asked her about it she said her class would only do one day and I would have to find someone else to do the others.  Unfortunately she informed of this a week before I need people.  I hate having to talk to people I don't know, then to have them ignore me and have to keep addressing them on it is really stressful.

Also, remember my pharmacy issue?  I have to testify to the governing board on Wednesday.  Gahhhhh

Who Knew??

Pickles could be so easy...

I went with Catherine Newman's pickle recipe.   She has never failed me yet and I figured it was worth a try.  Best pickles ever.  Sadly we only got 6 cucumbers, I am hoping for more tomorrow, because I have more dill.

Todays Challenge....

This is our basket from this week.  I was very excited about the asparagus and red peppers, Maddie begs for both when we are at the store, but it can be pricey so I just buy them on sale.  That is a full dozen tomatoes at the right, and toward the back are some plums, but I am not sure what variety they are yet.  ( they are pluots!)

I am going to try and do pickles with the 6 pickling cucumbers.  I have never made pickles, so I am excited.  Trouble is my dad is in town and then we are leaving for  a few days so I don't know how the pickling will work??  Hmm  looks like I need to do some research.  

Eggplant Update

Let's say you are laying in bed in the morning and you hear your two year old talking.  Then you hear a weird, unidentifiable sound, and you and your spouse discuss what is this strange sound??  Hmm well, she isn't crying so leave her be.  NO. NO you get up immediately and see what the demon seed is doing:

No idea where she found a pencil but she really gave the wall and bookcase a work out.  She will not contain her muse to a piece of paper.  She has colored on everything in this house, we hide  writing utensils like most people hide matches.

So the eggplant.  I have mentioned my Meta Givens cookbook before, I found a recipe for  Eggplant En Casserole and had all the ingredients so what the heck.  I made some changes because I strongly believe onions are bigger now that they were in 1947.

Eggplant  (peeled and diced mine was about 4 cups)

2 tomatoes  sliced (peeled, but I didn't because how do you do that?)

1C cheese  ( I used cheddar jack also I don't measure cheese I just throw handfuls)

Butter

Breadcrumbs

Salt and Pepper to taste

Saute the eggplant and onion is butter until semi cooked about 5 minutes.  Then layer eggplant/onion then tomato then cheese then repeat.  On the top sprinkle more cheese and some breadcrumbs.  Put a few dabs of butter on top.  Cook at 375 for about half and hour.

Bud and I both loved this, the tomatoes added a nice bit of freshness.  Owen nearly vomited just looking at it, and Ellie liked the first bite but refused anymore.  Maddie at three helpings, of course she thinks edamame is a huge treat so she is not your typical kid.  Definitely something I will make again.  Owen use to eat tons of vegetables but has been more picky since hanging out with more kids, I think since he use to love veggies as a little kid he will eventually get back to them as he gets older.  I hope.

I can't wait to see what this Saturday brings.





Trying New Things

For the last few week we have participated in Bountiful Baskets.  It is pretty cool, especially since we live in a desert and don't have lovely farm stands like we visit in PA when we are there.  Each week we sign up and pay for a basket.  Then on Saturday we shlep out the the designated location and pick up the basket.  It is $16.50 for a basket, and this week in the basket we got a bag of potatoes, 2 tomatoes, green beans, eggplant, leaf lettuce, a cantaloupe, 5 plums, 5 peaches, a couple pounds of grapes and bananas.  Which where I live is way more the $16.50. 

Each week there is one item that is "unusual" at least for us.  This week it is the eggplant.  Last week we got kale, and another week it was swiss chard.  I love the opportunity to try something that our family has not tried.  I love looking for the recipes, and trying them out.  So my project this week is the eggplant.



Just try to get your children to eat me....

So I think I found a recipe, lets see how many I can get to eat eggplant.