I am so pissed at my mother right now. I truly can't hardly see through the tears right now. She enrages me so much.
First of all, we normally get along pretty well. We have a lot in common, both math teachers, similar styles and a lot of similar views. We talk on the phone a lot, and hang out quite a bit. I could identify with the mom posts today and figured I had a bit to write about later tonight. Then I had a conversation on the phone with my mom and we got into a huge fight!
A bit of background, Owen's birthday is a week before the baby is due. Both kids were born two weeks early, so we figure we will either have a baby a few days old, or I will be on major labor watch. We can't plan a party at birthday place, because we may need to cancel at the last minute. So we need to have the party at our house. In order to make things easier we are having a cleaning lady the day before the party, we are ordering food, and in a total departure for me, we are ordering an ice cream cake instead of making it. (Maddie is two weeks later so postponing a week isn't a great option either)
Owen has gone to the same private school the last two years, they don't offer past kindergarten so the kids who have known each other for years will be moving on. His school also asks that you invite everyone so no one is left out, which I understand. Because he won't be seeing his good friends next year, and they will all kind of drift off I would like to be able to invite all of them. I figure we will include a note on the invite letting people know they need to call the morning of and see if the party is still on, this will maybe discourage some that he isn't real close to, also a home party may seem more boring than the bowling parties, gymboree parties that are so popular. But with kids and family we are looking at maybe 30 people (not counting parents of the kids we invite). That is a lot of people for our house.
The other morning I thought of a bright idea, have just kids in the morning, with a clearly defined time frame. Then have family over later in the day, and they can hang out, see the new baby if she is here, etc. Bud suggested that my mom bring T (same age cousin, bff) to the party with the kids, T would like hanging with the kids, my mom would like seeing the kids.
So today on the phone I asked her advice. At first she seem to agree, then shit got out of hand. She started going on about family only being allowed over for coffee and cake, and booted out, and getting all offended. I don't think my grandparents care about hanging with a bunch of 6 year olds, but whatever. So I pointed out that maybe people would be ok with it since I will probably have just experience labor and my whoo hoo will still be stitched, and they would be a bit understanding. To which she responded maybe we shouldn't have a party at all. yeah real nice. I got off the phone at that point.
I was fuming so I called back 5 minutes later and asked her if her opinion was really that it was better to tell Owen no party than for her to be offended. She went on about how we planned all our kids to be in May, so we should have thought about it more. She always complains about her mom being selfish and never thinking of her. I pointed out that is exactly how she was treating me, she was not thinking of me, my health or for the love pete, her grandson.
I don't think I was being unreasonable. So now we have this long process of her ignoring me til she isn't mad at me, and then pretending like it didn't happen. It is so irritating, I am proud of myself for calling her back and giving her a piece of my mind though. I swear she doesn't do this shit to my brother.