Random Bullets

• Facebook-WTH. Are there rules or something? I find it nearly as stressful as high school. What are the rules about friending people? And then how long do you have to chat with them? What if I just want to play around on FB stalking people? I don't want to be interrupted by chatting. But if you say you need to get the kids to bed you have to get off FB or they can tell you lied. Dude, it is stressful. I don't know if I really want to get to into it or not.

• Breastfeeding- I need a system for frozen milk. I currently have about 60 frozen bags and Bud and I are both dissatisfied with the system in place. (current system is shoving it the freezer and having it fall out everytime I open the freezer) Our deep freeze still has a ton of meat, and I seem to be pumping faster than we are able to consume the dead cow. I need more ways to use round steak.

• Postpartum weight loss- FAIL. I guess downing two pieces of cheesecake while on the phone with a friend is not conducive to weight lose. It is however,conducive to not losing your damn mind. Those are my choices: skinny(ish) ass or my mind. When it appears I have gone completely crazy just assume my ass looks awesome.

• Babies- Eight 20 minute naps on my chest throughout the day make a crabby baby and a crabby momma. Consolidation is the solution! Try it, I think we all will appreciate the difference.

Conversations with a six year old

Owen is loving the trip to Washington. My aunt and uncle have 3 acres of land which is way better than the 100 square feet of yard we have. Anyway, he calls us everynight and this was part of my conversation with him;

Me: How is the weather there?

Owen:_________

Me: Is is hot or cold?

Owen: It is hot and cold.

Me: When is it cold?

Owen: On both ends.

Me: Both ends of what????

Owen: Both ends of when its hot.

Kids got a point.

Letter to the Internet

Dear Internet,

Just so you know I pushed a baby out my hoo-haa six weeks ago with a bit of "damage". So your twice daily emails touting penis ENLARGEMENT, not so much. Seriously, the idea makes me cry. Leave me and the bruised hoo-haa alone.

That is all,

Lippy

Start Saving Now

Owen is losing his first tooth. It has been super loose for about a week now, yesterday I took a look at it and noticed something interesting. The adult tooth has popped up well behind the baby tooth. I imagine this is a sign of orthodontia in our future. We have a dentist appointment in two weeks, hopefully he can tell us how much money we should start putting aside each month to pay for the braces and headgear that I am sure will be required. That combined with Maddie's love of her thumb should make us very popular to some orthodontist.

I am hoping he loses the tooth in the next 30 hours. He leaves on Wednesday with my mom and nephew for a 10 day trip to Washington. So if he loses the tooth on his vacation I will be very sad, no one in this house has the stomach for speeding the process. We agreed to this trip months ago, and now are nervous about how long he will be gone. It will cut down on the amount of fighting, I am sure Maddie will still be her stellar little self, but at least she won't have a big brother pestering her all the live long day. We are sending an envelope for each day that he is gone. I plan to include a variety of things, notes saying we love him, gum, maybe stickers or tattoos. Any other suggestions?

How do you get three kids looking cute, smiling and no red eye all in one picture?


Is it safe to assume we got this outfit for the humor factor, right? No one actually believes a baby will wear this without crying?


I am afraid to even wash it, I think the flower on the front will fall apart. But she is very stylish.

BFF

My very best friend (V) is going through some tough times. We met in high school and have been friends for more than 20 years. Her husband is an alcoholic and she has decided to divorce him. He has become progressively more verbally abusive over the last year. We live about 10 hours apart, and I just got a call from one of her friends. Her husband has been threatening to take their son and make sure she never sees him again. He has also been threatening to kill himself, and making vague threats against her. She is staying with friends tonight, and they have called the police. I wish I had some way of helping her, if I had not just given birth I would go visit her. But I really can't take a new baby (or any child) into that situation, and I can't leave her here because I am the food source. I don't know if V can come out here right now, she will need to talk to her lawyer first. If she can, I think it would be good for her to escape the situation for awhile. I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. She has worked really hard over the last year to improve her life, she has lost almost 70 pounds, she teaches an exercise class, and she has found new hobbies. She was hoping he would want to make some changes for himself, but apparently not. I remember at their reception telling him if he ever hurt her I would kick his ass, apparently I have some ass kicking to do. Maybe it will help get rid of the baby weight.