Saturday, September 6, 2008


Periodically, events from the past pop into my head for no real reason. So driving home the other night I remembered this one.

I was in 4th grade schooching my chair forward and bumped myself on the desk. There was a shooting ,horrible pain in my chest. Later I found a lump where I had hit myself. One of my parents closest friends had just died of cancer, so I was terrified that I had some sort of cancer. It took a few days before I got the courage to tell my parents about it. They were both a bit freaked about it and decided I should go to the doctor. My dad had his own business, so it was easier for him to go with me, because my mom was working at the time.

The doctor examined me then told me everything was fine, blah, blah blah...Only years later did I get the rest of the story from my mom. The doctor had me go out of the room and had this conversation with my dad.

Dr: Your daughter is developing.

Dad: Developing what??? Cancer?

Dr: No developing, you know, .....puberty.

Dad: Puberty?

Dr: Yes, your daughter is developing breasts.

Dad: No she's not.

Dr: Yes, she is.

Dad: No

Dr: Yes

Dad: No, she's only ten. You're wrong. She is a baby.

Dr: I'm not wrong, and ten is when they start to develop.

Dad: You are a quack, and stupid and wrong. They should take your license away.

Later dad tells mom.

Mom: Oh, my God, of course. Why didn't I think of that. We need to shop for a training bra.

Dad: You are all crazy, I think they will go away.

I'm pretty sure I am the only girl to ever go to the doctor for getting boobs. I also imagine the fun the doctor has had over the last 25 years or so telling the story. All his doctor friends hanging out telling stories of stupid patients and him saying "oh, I have the best one ever!"

1 comment:

Swistle said...

I laughed literally AUDIBLY. That is SO FUNNY.