Eight Years Ago

New Year's Eve has never been my favorite holiday, not since my first boyfriend dumped me my senior year on NYE. Instead of looking to the future, I always looked back on my various failings over the year.

So I told my friends I was staying home on Dec. 31 2000. A friend had managed to get a room on the Strip that year, another friend B had college buddies visiting from out of state. So my friend Anne insisted I go with her, and she personally promised she would not let me get too introspective. I had lived in Vegas for three years and hadn't spent New Years on the strip so I figured I might as well give it one more shot.

When we got to the room we were introduced to B college friends, Bud and his brother R. I had heard a lot of stories about the parties these guys had thrown back in the day. I thought "that Bud guy looks cute". As the evening progressed we got to talking, about baking, and different recipes we both liked. He told me the secret to moist banana bread was thin slices of apple in the mix. We are the only two people to flirt by exchanging recipes. I finally asked him the big three questions, margarine or butter, mayonnaise or miracle whip, and semi-sweet chocolate or milk chocolate chips? He had all the right answers (butter, mayo, and milk chocolate). We spent the rest of the night talking about everything, my family, his family, how he wanted to go back to school to be a teacher and coach. I kept telling him it was a shame he lived in a different state, and he just said "it's only an 8 hour drive". Yeah right buddy.

So I made a bit of an ass of my self falling all over him, there was a lot of drinking. Anyway I gave him my phone number when it was time to go and didn't figure I would hear from him. The next day my friend B called to see if I wanted to join them for a movie. I got to the theater late and took the only empty seat in the row, pretty soon I heard laughing and everybody got up so Bud could sit next to me. After the movie he asked if he could call me when he got home. Again I was "yeah sure you will".

Two days later I got a delivery of flowers at school, he had written a really sweet card and included his phone number. (seriously guys, send flowers to her work if you can) The kicker, the flowers were purple, which I had mentioned was my favorite color. Any girl near her thirties knows it is hard to find a man that listens. We talked on the phone for three and a half hours that night. Then talked every night until he came out a week and a half later to see me. He met my whole family, who loved him.

The morning he was leaving he brought a present for me. It was a bag of the valentine conversation hearts, but they were from the bin and there were only a few in the bottom of the bag. He told me there were thirty in the bag, and if I ate one everyday he would be back before they were gone. I know, he's so cute.

Anyway three months later he moved here. A year and a half after that we were married, and nine months after the wedding we had Owen. In the eight years since we met everything has been a whirlwind, but an awful lot of fun. The best part? We met on the Strip, but we both hate it. We spend NYE at home, with a bunch of snacky food and movies.

It has been eight great years, I owe my friend Anne big time.

New Year's Quiz

Here are my answers to All and Sundry's New Years Quiz. I don't usually do these, but I thought a bit of self reflection could be fun. I can see I really need to get out a bit more.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before? Became more assertive and direct when dealing with others.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't normally make resolutions, can't fail.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope

4. Did anyone close to you die? We were having twins and lost one.

5. What countries did you visit? None

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008? More time!

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 1st, my Master's paper was due, November 7th found out having twins, then... not so much.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Finishing my Masters Degree!

9. What was your biggest failure? Not keeping up on things I enjoy that are just for me.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Lots of morning sickness, then a few rounds o' the flu

11. What was the best thing you bought? Bedroom furniture for us.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? So many of my student became active in the election this year. Even though most were too young to vote, they became involved and volunteered in the campaigns (on both sides!)

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Many of the adults involved in politics.

14. Where did most of your money go? Bills, blah

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? The election!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008? Moose A Moose, Everywhere I Go on Noggin. I can't ever get it out of my head.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier
b) thinner or fatter? Pregnant so definitely fatter. (but great boobs)
c) richer or poorer? Richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Spent more time with my husband

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Complaining about my paper

20. How did you spend Christmas? With my mom, brother and his family.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008? Just with my husband, I know, cheesy

22. What was your favorite TV program? The Office

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Not really hate, just disgusted.

24. What was the best book you read? Nothing really stands out. Maybe a trip to the library tomorrow.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? That I can't spend $15 on iTunes because I can't make up my mind. It's pathetic

26. What did you want and get? A mandolin slicer. yay

27. What did you want and not get? My box of See's candy.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? Hmmmm. I need to get out more often.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? We just had family over for dinner, and I turned 37.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Someone to clean my house so I can focus on the people I love.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008? I'm suppose to have a fashion concept? How about capri pants hide my thighs?

32. What kept you sane? My husband, truly I would be adrift without him.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Obama

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Education (I'm a teacher)

35. Who did you miss? My in laws, we couldn't make our yearly trip to see them, and I really miss them. They are great people.

36. Who was the best new person you met? We have a new teacher in our department, who could end up being a good friend.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008. My husband and I can get through anything, we make a great team, and we should not take that for granted.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "Something unpredictable, but in the end it's right"

20 Weeks

I hit the halfway mark on Christmas. This pregnancy has been very different from my last two. Partially it is because we are so busy with the other two kids. Mostly it is the variety of complications, that have made this pregnancy seem a bit unreal. We are still dealing with some uncertainties. This is hard for a control freak like myself.

Before my last ultrasound we found that my numbers were elevated for spina bifida. However on the ultrasound everything looked really good. We went ahead and had the amnio, I know a lot of people feel that whatever happens, happens and they wait until the birth. Bud and I are not those kind of people, if they could tell me right now, where the baby will go to college, who she'll marry etc. we would find out.

Aside from the genetic information given by the amnio, it would also give information about the AFP levels in the amniotic fluid. Those come back pretty quickly, then a second test, the AChE would look for spinal fluid in the amniotic fluid. (I am just going off memory here, so I could be a bit off) Those results take longer, but the test is more accurate a positive result indicates an opening in the babies spine. The AFP still came back really high, and when the AChE came in it was slightly positive.

The genetic counselor at the office is great, she really explains things and is willing to spend great amounts of time doing it. She and the doctor both believe the loss of the twin is causing the weak positive result. She looked into some research articles and said she found one that supports a weak positive, and she is speaking to the director of the lab to see if he has seen this before. The theory is that as the one twin is being reabsorbed, different proteins are being released into the amniotic fluid. We go in on the 8th for another ultrasound, hopefully everything still looks good.

I haven't been as excited as I expected. I know that this is my last, so I had hoped to enjoy it, but I am so worried about this baby, and still so sad about losing the other. At first I thought it was good that we hadn't known about the twins, because I thought it would have made it harder. But we still are dealing with the grief without ever having had the excitement so I don't think it would have mattered. We have told very few people, and some who have been told, seem a bit casual about it, like well at least you are still getting a baby. And I do feel lucky, that we didn't lose both, but it's still hard. Is it crazy to grieve what you didn't know you had?

Wow, great update. But the queasiness it getting better, and she is starting to kick around a lot more. Also she seems to enjoy abusing my poor bladder. I am anticipating the gestational diabetes coming back, so I am enjoying food while I can.

Christmas Cute

I just couldn't resist these two pictures. No Owen isn't in them, but boy Christmas clothes just aren't as cute. So, whatever.

What lunatic designed this dress? And convinced my grandmother to buy it? We did somehow manage to keep the white part white. Sadly, this meant me acting like a deranged, hovering mom. Oh well, as my grandma always says, "it hurts to be beautiful". Yeah, she has a lot of great sayings like that.

Quickies

Did your husband just remember a potluck you are suppose to attend?Uggg Or did you just remember a party that you need a dish? Or has the stress made you feel like hiding in the closet eating? Here are two quick and tasty recipes.

Turtles

1 bag of Rolo candies
1 bag of pretzels (I use the little square ones, but the trees would be cute if you find them)
Pecans

Have a child open the Rolos while you put the pretzels on a baking sheet (preferably with sides)
Place one rolo on each pretzel, then pop into the oven at 350 for about 3 to 5 minutes. Take out of the oven. Press one pecan onto each rolo. And wait for them to cool.

I usually toast the pecans, I don't know if this is necessary. I have heard of some people placing the pecans on the rolo's before baking. That would probably work to.



Fudge

I got this from a Rachel Ray show.

1 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips ( I use milk chocolate)
1 bag butterscotch chips
1 can (14 oz) Sweetened Condensed Milk
1 teaspoon Vanilla

Heat the chips and milk until all melty. I use a saucepan over low heat, but you could probably use a microwave as well. Once the chips are melted add the vanilla. Spread in an 8 x 8 foil lined and buttered pan. This will take about 2 hours to set.

I leave some plain, then make a batch with raisins and walnuts. Yummmmm. I think you could use a variety of dried fruits. I have used craisins, and that was awesome.

Sick Day 724

Seriously, barfing flu can go suck it. I am tired of cleaning up puke, and doing laundry. Also, excellent time for the dryer to stop, you know, drying stuff. It basically takes our wet clothes on a carnival ride. But it did manage to burn a hole in Maddies winter coat in one of the fifty times we washed it this week, now it looks like one of us was smoking and nearly set our child on fire. Luckily I have 20 shirts the dryer has burned to show CPS when they show up.

The kids spent the night at mom's last night and when we went to get them this morning Owen had barfed all over her couch. So the only one unscathed at this point is Bud. Owen has no sense of self preservation and will just puke right on himself, rather than grabbing the bucket that we have placed right next to him. His excuse? " I forgot". How do you forget not to puke on yourself? Even the cats know not to do that. He is a bright kid, but..... Well the girl is up from her nap!

Sick Day: The Sequel

Bud had such a rough day with Maddie yesterday. By the time I left at 7:oo she had thrown up 8 times. She wasn't keeping anything down, including water, so he took her to the doctor. Not only did she have a virus but an ear infection to boot. This is her first ear infection, so we were surprised. I planned on staying with her today, so I set out stuff for a substitute yesterday before I left. Good thing, because last night I started up with the barfies. Good times today. Luckily Maddie was feeling good and actually eating.

Also hell has officially frozen over! We currently have 6 inches of snow in our backyard, we live in Nevada and we never see snow. It is still going strong and we are hoping for a snow day tomorrow. I don't see how we can have school since there are no snow plows here. We'll see in the morning.

Owen's Christmas program was postponed because of the snow. He was devastated, he has been looking forward to this for months, ok weeks, but it feels like months. We have heard that he has a solo, but he says it is more of a duet. We will see, I was hoping to get a new camcorder before the play but we haven't had a chance to look for a good deal.

Well off to check various sources to see if school is cancelled.

Sick Day

I figure I might as well use this early morning to post a bit. My kids are trying to keep me from sleeping. Maybe remind me what a newborn is like. I heard Maddie crying around 2:30, I figured it must be her teeth (finally getting the two year molars). But she told me she "spit" in her bed. Sure enough puke everywhere! So got her cleaned up, and the bed. The one big casualty was her "kitty" also known as the only thing helps maintain sanity around here. We have two, which alternate based on filth factor. Puke trumps the filth on the other kitty which hadn't been washed yet. Then back to bed for the girls.

Well, you guessed it, a half-hour later more puking, more bed changing, more puke on the now more filthy kitty. Crisis! Bud was up for this one, so once she was settled we started listing what was going on in our day, to decide who stays home. My calculus kids have a test on Thursday so I won.

Bud is at school at 4:30 to put stuff out for a sub. This is when I envy people who can just call in sick without having to drag themselves in to work first. Usually we can just write stuff up at home and have the other take it to school, that is a major advantage of being at the same school. There was no way for me to fall back to sleep, especially since Maddie has thrown up a few times since then, so she and I are watching Frosty (thanks TiVo love ya). She is in a great mood, if it wasn't for the vomiting she would be a joy to spend the day with.

I know I am super lucky to have a husband who feels it is his equal responsibility to clean up poop, puke, pee and stay home with a sick child. But I always feel guilty, it seems like when you are sick you need your mom. Maybe because my dad wasn't the most nurturing person when you were sick. He woke up with us in the middle of the night because my mom goes into a coma as soon as she hits the pillow, but he was more business like. "Your stomach hurts? do you need to poop? maybe try farting." (Which I now do to Owen when his stomach hurts, sorry).

Well, I think I am going to try to shower!

Ultrasound day

Wow, this pregnancy is getting stressful. I got a phone call from the doctors office this morning, they got the results of my quad screen this morning and the results came back postive for Down Syndrome. But when I got to the office it was actually negative for Downs, postive for spina bifida. The counselor there is awesome, and said it was probably because of the twin.

On the ultrasound everything looked great. The baby looked great, the spine looked fine, there don't seem to be any problems from the loss of the other baby. All in all the doc said it was a great ultrasound. We still went with the amnio just because all the uncertainty has been freaking me out. It was the first on I have had, and it was a yucky feeling. I need to stay of my feet for the next day, so more time for the internet.

Well now for the good part. It is a GIRL. I have had that feeling all along so I am pretty excited. Plus now whenver I buy stuff for Maddie I can plan on using it for the next baby.

A Teacher on Teacher Gifts

I know the Internet is holding millions of posts about teacher gifts, but here is mine. Some of these are geared toward older students because I teach high school. It seems there is less gift giving for secondary teachers, I think because parents are intimidated by the sheer number of teachers their kids have.

• First it is usually best to give something consumable. In general anything that gets used up and doesn't use space is great. I will give some exceptions,


• I love when my seniors give me a pennant from the college they plan to attend. Christmas may be to soon for that, but it works great at the end of the year.


• If your child is part of a sport, club or activity they can give the teacher a t-shirt. I wear these on game days to show my support and they can usually be purchased for cheap. For a favorite teacher cafepress.com has some awesome shirts, you can search by subject. They are pretty pricey, so these would be just for a special teacher. The math and history are really funny.


• One of the best gifts I ever received was from a student who worked at Ben & Jerry's and she brought each teacher a pint of their favorite ice cream. If you child has a job, have them be a little creative.


• Food is always a winner. If you want to see a full sheet cake disappear put it in a teacher lounge. I don't know why, we can't resist.


• Gift cards are always great.

For our own children these are the offerings we have this year:

• Owen and I made soap this summer, we plan to give them to his teachers this year. We we wrapped them in cute paper, and tied them with raffia. ( No the caramels we made that day were for me, thanks to Swistle I have a serious caramel addiction)


• We will do the same thing we did last year and do a soup in a jar. Bud made cute labels for the jars and everyone seemed to enjoy the soup. I tested it out first and it was really good.


• Plates of cookies. My mom and I usually spend one day from 7:ooam to 9:00pm baking cookies. I have given a plate of these to our daycare lady every year since we met her. We moved into our current house three years ago on December 18th needless to say the cookies didn't get made, so we gave her a $50 gift certificate to her favorite restaurant. She was disapointed. Yeah, the cookie plate rules. Every year she tells me which family member loves which cookies, they apparently wait for it every year.


• We may try a drink mix this year, instead of the soup. Owen is big enough he can do a lot of it himself. Score!
• There are a lot of great food gift ideas on Allrecipes. (I spend countless hours here)

And most of all let's not forget the sincere card or letter. This is my personal favorite, I still have cards from my first students eleven years ago. I pin them all up on my wall, and read them when I am having a bad day. They are truly the best gift a teacher can get. And they are cheap.

Pregnancy Update

It is amazing how a person can forget the difficulties of being pregnant. What sort of crazy hormone can wipe your memory that way? You would think vomiting for 3 months would stick with a person. I finally got some relief, the nurse practitioner prescribed me Reglan for the all day barfathon. I has been working pretty well. I forgot to take it Sunday night before bed, then made the mistake Monday morning of talking about making a turkey sandwich for my lunch. The dry heaving began mid-sentence. So I took a bagel, and remember to take the meds.

I am amazed how much more I can get done in a day when I am not clutching the toilet. I have managed to get my grading caught up! That in itself is a miracle. I no longer choose my meals based on what is easiest to throw up. It's like a whole new world.

We have another ultrasound on Friday, so we should get some more news on how this baby is doing. I am totally freaked out. I keep telling the baby I would like to feel a few little kicks, just to reassure me that we will not hear on Friday that we have lost this one as well. My MIL is a labor and delivery nurse, and all her OB friends said it would be unusual for their to be a problem with this baby, but I can't help it. Bud is always the voice of reason and pointed out we aren't praying for a miracle, but just average. We can totally do average, it is where we excel.

We should also be able to find out if we are having a boy or girl since I will be 17 week. It doesn't matter to me either way, but I do still have all of Maddie's clothes. Although I am sure my mom is more than willing to buy more stuff. I keep seeing cute summer baby stuff on clearance, once I know what the baby is the buying can begin. My sister in law is due in March and they chose to not find out the sex of the baby. I can't comprehend that. But they went through IVF so they felt like they wanted some sort of surprise, since the pregnancy was pretty well planned out.

And here is a picture of girl who will imitate anything her brother does:

Thanksgiving

So what was left off your Thanksgiving feast? I forgot to make the Creamed Cabbage (sounds gross tastes yummy) and the Green Bean Casserole. I don't think we have ever made it through a holiday without forgetting something. So what did you forget?

Surprise! Heartbreak...Fear

With this pregnancy I will be 38 when the baby is due, so that entitles me to all sorts of extra doctor appointments. We went on Friday to do the Nuchal Fold measurement. At the beginning of the ultrasound the tech kept asking if we had any sort of ultrasound yet. Then she said "well I am seeing twins" at which point I had a stroke because holy cow.

Just as we are trying to get use to this idea, she told us she could find a heartbeat on one of the babies. We quickly went from freaking out about twins to praying for a heartbeat to appear. Which didn't happen. We really didn't take much of an opportunity to enjoy the twin who is ok.

Then the doctor came in to explain and answer questions. The twins appeared to be identical, so he is concerned about them sharing a placenta and the surviving baby having a decrease in blood pressure. This could lead to brain damage. At this point I just wanted them to shoot me. Of course we won't know anything until our next ultrasound in about 4 weeks. I know he is just giving us worst case scenarios, and he did say that this happens all the time and the other baby is born just fine. Now every time I feel a twinge I freak out.

Bud and I are just stunned. I feel so guilty for not immediately being happy about twins, I know intellectually that had no bearing on the whole thing but there it is. I know we should be happy that right now "baby A" looks good. We were only expecting one baby so why does it hurt so much to lose this baby we didn't know about? When I wrote about wanting another baby, I said that it feels like someone is missing. Now, I know there always will be a child missing.

And to top it off I have a wretched cold and I am still throwing up, so this has been an awesome weekend. Now I need to blow my nose again.

Fog

Pregnancy is killing me. WTF was I thinking? I can't stay up past 8:30, so my TV viewage is way down. I am a few weeks behind on Heroes. Thank goodness for Tivo. The endless gagging is starting to piss me off. I am questioning my wisdom in trying to get 32 credits in this school year. My online class is crushingly boring, truly I think it will kill me.

But, the baby does have a heartbeat! Which from what I understand is a good start. Poor Bud ended up getting there a little to late to hear it. I have to go for the one-hour glucose test this week, blreagh. And on the seventh we go to the perinatalogist for some early screening. Hopefully this week I can get a bit more energy.

Hunger

Wow, I forgot how hungry I get when I am pregnant. Eating is the only thing that make my stomach feel better, you know until I try to put my pants on.

I also forgot how thinking about food can make you dry heave. I have a thing about bananas, they can't have any brown spots or those weird stringy things. I currently have some excellent bananas, but if I am eating one and think of a bad banana, it sounds like I am hacking up a fur ball. Packing my lunch yesterday I was picking out an apple and each one had a hole, which commenced the gagging in the fridge. Bud laughed because he sucks. Don't you wish your husband could experience the hormones of early pregnancy.

Well, it is almost 9:00pm so I need to get to bed, because I'm 8.

Milestones

Just a few bullets, this has been a big week at our house.

• Maddie peed on the potty for the first time on Monday. And again today.
• Owen is starting to read by himself. Some of it is clearly memorized but he is sounding out words.
• I am outgrowing all of my pants.
• Doritos are the best food ever.
• Everyone I speak to has bad breath. Gag

Getting the word out

Well we went with the blurt method to tell my mom. Mostly because we were going to dinner with her and I was really hungry and didn't want to take the time to stop at a store. She was thankful, because the clever ways usually go over her head.

She was really excited. She immediately started asking when we would know gender so she can start shopping. And she pointed out she got a big raise this year so she can by more. Aren't Grandmas great.

My dad was a little more like "eh... on purpose?" But he did call today to apologize and say he is excited, he was just caught a bit off guard.

Bud still hasn't told his family yet. He is having issues with his mom right now, and doesn't feel like telling her. Of course this is killing me because it seems unfair for my family to know and not his. Oh well.

I will wait to tell folks at work. Unless I throw up in the hallway or something. Speaking of.. we have a young male teacher D. who really lacks social skills. He was in the hall the other day with a student who looked a little rough. He was telling her he needed to write a pass. Well she started throwing up in a trash can..... and he stood there talking to her. "oh that sucks huh" Later I told him, when people are throwing up they just want you to go away...far far away. Seriously, can you imagine barfing with someone talking to you? Especially your teacher? Obviously he is single.

We still haven't told anyone (except my best friend). I am still looking for a fun way to tell folks. Especially my mom. I just talked to her today, she is babysitting my nephew (5) and niece (9 months) in a few days. She informed me that she is over the whole baby thing and can't wait until Niece is older and walking because babies are boring. Yeah... So maybe she won't be all that excited. My dad was here a few weeks ago, which coincided with our anniversary. He told us to "be careful" because two kids is enough. I am predicting we will be the only excited people. It makes me a bit sad.



Of course, I sobbed through the first 40 minutes of "Raising Helen" yesterday, so I do understand I am a little emotional. And I feel a bit queasy. Not the standard sick to my stomach feeling, more like vomit has crawled up into my throat and is waiting there. Sounds weird. I am nervous about the morning sickness. With my son I thought I had it pretty bad because I was always feeling a bit sick and gagging, but never actually threw up. With my daughter it was about the same until the morning I was 8 weeks. I could not stop throwing up, I had my first doctor appointment that day so I told the nurse about my "flu". She laughed, and pointed out I didn't have a fever, diarrhea, muscle aches, chills and that I was in fact pregnant.

I really didn't think pregnancy could make a person puke that much. And I kept it up until I was about 22 weeks. It was really hard, and my mom kept saying it would be a girl and it would be worth it! Apparently a boy wouldn't have been. So, I don't really care if we have a boy or girl I just don't want to puke that much. Crossing my fingers.

Holy Cr@p!

So...yeah apparently we still got it. I am 5 weeks pregnant.

So this makes three! What was I thinking? Sure it all sound good in the hypothetical, but now I am a little freaked out. It will just take a little time to settle in. We haven't told anyone yet, I want to find a fun way to tell my mom, since my brother is done and this will be our last, it is her last grandchild. Any suggestions would be welcome!

Doctor

Periodically, events from the past pop into my head for no real reason. So driving home the other night I remembered this one.

I was in 4th grade schooching my chair forward and bumped myself on the desk. There was a shooting ,horrible pain in my chest. Later I found a lump where I had hit myself. One of my parents closest friends had just died of cancer, so I was terrified that I had some sort of cancer. It took a few days before I got the courage to tell my parents about it. They were both a bit freaked about it and decided I should go to the doctor. My dad had his own business, so it was easier for him to go with me, because my mom was working at the time.

The doctor examined me then told me everything was fine, blah, blah blah...Only years later did I get the rest of the story from my mom. The doctor had me go out of the room and had this conversation with my dad.

Dr: Your daughter is developing.

Dad: Developing what??? Cancer?

Dr: No developing, you know, .....puberty.

Dad: Puberty?

Dr: Yes, your daughter is developing breasts.

Dad: No she's not.

Dr: Yes, she is.


Dad: No

Dr: Yes

Dad: No, she's only ten. You're wrong. She is a baby.

Dr: I'm not wrong, and ten is when they start to develop.

Dad: You are a quack, and stupid and wrong. They should take your license away.


Later dad tells mom.

Mom: Oh, my God, of course. Why didn't I think of that. We need to shop for a training bra.

Dad: You are all crazy, I think they will go away.


I'm pretty sure I am the only girl to ever go to the doctor for getting boobs. I also imagine the fun the doctor has had over the last 25 years or so telling the story. All his doctor friends hanging out telling stories of stupid patients and him saying "oh, I have the best one ever!"

Back to School

Time for writing has been scarce. The beginning of the school year is crazy! As the head of the department I a lot of extra tasks, particularly at the start of a new year, especially when we have five new teachers.

Oh yeah, and our state legislature cut the budget by about half. Which means we lost five teachers at our school, luckily the math department was able to keep our staff. Also, no more copies on colored paper. Oh, and no more buying textbooks, 'cause who uses those anyway.

In May I finished my Master's, so I finally don't have that hanging over my head anymore. Although I am taking another 32 credits this year, but whatever. My biggest goal this year is basically be less of an ass. I found myself frustrated with my students a lot the last few years. Partially it has been personal stress, but mostly I get frustrated for them. Don't they want to pass algebra 1? Do they want to graduate? Why won't the just do the homework? Also, it makes me a little nuts when someone writes notes in my class, then wants me to answer their questions once they finally pay attention. Plus, you know teenagers can be a pain in the arse. But they are also pretty funny, and I do love teaching. So this year I am trying to find new ways to motivate. Contrary to popular belief, most kids don't really like math. I just don't understand. So I am using fantasy football as a semester project, also I made some goofy posters and I will have some drawings. I have been trying to be more "cool" which comes off as lame, but if you acknowledge the lameness of trying to be cool, then it can be funny if done correctly. I am also picking out a few kids these first days to try getting them involved from the start.

I am also fighting with the counselors......you know again. Some a great, but some are total dipshits. The one I am most currently fighting with is just not a bright guy. He frequently refers to our middle eastern students as being "black" in their college recommendation letters. Way to know your kids, ass.

I am eager to see what I can accomplish with my low level kids. I know the advanced kids will be fine but my Algebra students are the ones I worry about. Hopefully I can reach more of them this year.

Therapy

See all cool stuff in the picture? Totally free! I went to the new Target by my house, at the pharmacy they were giving out gift bags! Like it was the Oscars or something. Nothing cheers me up like free stuff. And most of it is useful. There were even a few of the plug in freshners, one has a crazy color changing night light. Owen thinks it is the greatest ever.







We have lived in this house for three and a half years and we hadn't got the carpet cleaned yet. Well last week we finally had it done. I can't believe the difference. It was totally worth the money.

Then the guy asked about the tile, the grout was looking really bad, but I didn't think it would be worth the extra. Then I figured, eh, I won't have to mop! I ended up taking pictures to show Bud it was worth the money. Check it out-







I really couldn't believe how quickly the grout cleaned up. I want to buy their magic cleansers.

Both kids were really excited. They spent about 20 minutes talking about how "wonderful" it looked. Apparently we have been living in a total crap hole. Good to know.



Lesson: If you are in a funk, get your carpet cleaned!

Rage

My cutie cute nephew came to spend the night with us. He and my son are only 10 weeks apart in age, so they are bet o'friends. Sadly I think little T didn't get the experience he expected. When the kids asked to watch a movie... my response "can't anyone just leave me alone for 3 minutes" (with maybe a little spit and a lot of bitchy) Then while trying to verify an email address for classes I want to take, it asked for my authorization code. But I was NOT given a code in the email. WTF So I sent off a snippy email, stating that maybe giving a person their code would facilitate the authorization process. We Bud came down a few minutes later I was crying fixing dinner. Unfortunately, for the counter, when he asked why I had a can opener in my hand and I proceeded to beat said can opener on the counter top while pissing and moaning about the authorization code, and the kids and why was everyone breathing so loud and why is the sun so bright and why the f*&k do I want to beat everyone?

What is it about that "special time" that makes me batshit crazy (and also stand in the pantry eating out of boxes)? Only on the second day. I know I am being crazy, which just makes it worse. Bud kindly suggested that I get my crazy ass out of the house for a few hours, before the kids needed expensive therapy. So I went to my mom's and vented, but mostly just sat and enjoyed the quiet. She is past that phase in her life so she doesn't really remember feeling this way. I find myself being so frustrated I want to open cabinets and throw everything on the floor to express my anger. And every month I am surprised by the hormone wave anew. So this is a reminder to myself. When the friend shows up, stay away from people the next day. Also buy more popcorn.

Pictures of My Day

So today I started making Christmas gifts. Owen
helped me make some soap. By make I mean, melted and colored the stuff you buy at the craft store. I plan to use these for gifts for Owen's teachers and our daycare lady. I plan to make a few other things, I would like to get a lot of it done before school starts again, but since school starts again in about a week and a half it doesn't seem likely.









On the subject of making things, here are the salty caramels I made! And then ate, pretty much by myself. I am thinking of going to get more cream to make another batch. Cuz dooode these are good.








Our friends/neighbors moved out of state (I will need to write more about that another time). So they cleaned out their fridge and pantry to give to us. My question is.....Who buys a jar of pickled banana peppers this large? We have been having a ton of sandwiches because we love the peppercinis. I figure there will be some left for the kids to take to college with them.

Spotlight

OMG, people are looking at me, and I am all self-conscious. Why aren't I funnier, more interesting, more insightful? Does this font make me look fat? Gahhhhh. Don't these two look like they need another sibling?

I appreciate everyone taking the time to look overhere, and thanks to Swistle for mentioning me. She rocks.

Breaking Up

Etiquette question.

Last month I found the perfect hair style. I stalked a lady and took pictures of her hair, and asked her friend if it would look good on me. I am that desperate. Anyway, I took said pictures of hair to my hairstylist of 3 years. And got a cut similar. It is a cute cut but not what I had asked for and showed with a PICTURE. Seriously, there are chunks sort of missing behind my ears. Like the back of my head and front of my head have two different styles, that just don't blend in the middle. Also, in the pic, her hair was an inch below her chin. He said "oh chin length" and cut it up to my ears. Anyway, it is a good cut, he really does a good job with the cutting, not so much the listening. My mom goes to the same guy, and everytime he ignores what she says and does whatever he wants. It looks good, just not what she wanted.

A coworker's husband is a hair stylist and I have heard he is fabulous. I am thinking of cheating on my stylist. Do I have to tell him I am breaking up with him? Can I just stop calling him? Also my mom want to break up too, so she won't have any awkward questions. Should I give him another chance?

Target, I am your b&@*h

I love Target, so so much. I went last night and found some great boys shorts for $2.24, so I picked up a few pair for Owen. They are a bit big, but since we can wear shorts here until November, then start up again in March, I think he will get plenty of wear out of them. They should fit next year unless he gains a lot of weight, which seems unlikely. I got him a few t-shirts that were $1.24 each and a sweatshirt for $1.01. I also picked up a few shorts and shirts for his cousins birthday. I picked out some summer outfits for my niece for next year, I can give them to her for Christmas. I got her a cute little polo shirt for $1.24 and some shorts for $1.98. Sadly I couldn't find a lot for Maddie for next year. I would have bought most of her clothes for next summer if I could have found more in her size.

Currently, I have to drive 15 minutes to get to a Target I am not that fond of, the layout is confusing for me. Or I can drive 20 minutes to the one by my mom. But... there is a new one opening by our house in 2 weeks. I can't wait, I plan to spend a good part of opening day there. But there will be no clearance.

Owen has had some real bed wetting issues. And by issues, I mean every. single. night. For a long time he would not wear pull-ups. We finally got him to wear the Goodnights, we called them boxer shorts. Now we are using the new Underjams. He has super sensitive skin, and they rub against his legs. My solution? He wears boxer brief underwear under the "boxer shorts". Anyway, on our vacation he stayed dry for eight whole nights, he was so happy, we were puzzled, we expected some sort of tapering off. Well, the last three nights he has woken up wet. He is so bummed about it. I'm wondering if sleeping on the floor in a strange place kept him from sleeping as deeply as he does at home. I wish I could help him somehow. We talked to his pediatrician and he said it is just an issue of maturation. I think this is why he keeps telling us he doesn't feel like he is five. Well it has to get better eventually, right?

How Do I Know?

I have two beautiful children (confirmed by outside sources) who on occasion make me crazy and usually make me exhausted. And for some reason I want another..... I can't explain it not even to my husband. But I need to try because the decision needs to be made soon. Our son just turned 5 and our daughter turned 2, I am 37 so the window is closing. Maybe throwing it out here will help me get a handle on it.



Owen is learning how to swim, even though he is nervous about the water he gets such a big smile on his face while he is paddling towards me, his joy in his accomplishment is undeniable. The other night he started crying when the movie he watched for a second time in three hours ended. When we asked what was wrong he said "sometimes when you watch a beautiful thing twice it makes you cry". He has been writing on every piece of paper he finds "I love my mom I love my Dad" then these pieces of paper find their way onto a dresser or counter or purse to surprise us later.



Maddie is learning how to skip, she runs from the kitchen to the living room and every other step she throws in a little hop and a huge smile. When she got home yesterday she bounded through the door ran through the house and started asking "where Owen?" She loves spending time with him, even though he torments her. When she asks her dad for something she lays her head on his lap with a smile to ask for it, where did she learn that? And when she asks for kisses she says "mama piss face, mama piss cheek".



Everyday is magical with them, how can I just say that's enough magic for me, I'm good for a lifetime. My husband says it doesn't matter how many kids we have I will feel the same. And he has a point....logically I can see it, but my heart just aches for another pregnancy. That first time you feel the baby kick, seeing their feet on the ultrasound, their old man face and scrunchy eyes when they are born, the ripply thighs and secret compartment neck folds. How does anyone stop?



When I think of Christmas thirty years from now, I feel another person there, it just feels like there is one more child waiting for us. Does that sound crazy? Anytime I mention a third child people act like I am crazy. They point out we have a boy and a girl, what more could we ask for, as if, because we have filled the gender slots we have nothing left to experience. Is it greedy to want more? Will our children suffer because we won't have as much money for them for college if we have another child?



My husband is happy with two. He compared the difference between two and three kids to the difference between buying ten acres and buying Kansas. However, he understands how much I would like another and is willing because he loves me. This makes me feel a lot of pressure, like I'm the only one making the decision.

Sometimes I see the wisdom in just two kids, especially when they are fighting with each other and Bud has class. If two drive me nuts does it make sense to have another? Also pumping at work....gahhhhhhh. Also having to lose the weight ago (ok still). But I think it is just cold feet because it is such a huge decision, and again, why am I allowed to make these life altering choices? Where are the grown-ups.

We have to have a sit down soon and make the final decision soon. I am a teacher and because of my AP classes both of my kids were born in May, after my AP kids take their exam and close enough to the end of the year that my maternity leave rolls right into summer. Then the babes were about 4 months before I went back to work. It worked well for both the other kids, but is it too much to have 3 May birthdays? Will this make people think we only like each other in August?

Oh, Internet tell me what to do. Like a magic eight ball!

Terrible, Terrible Twos

Oh what a day with Maddie. She has had such a hard time the last few days and today was the worst. She completely lost her shit. You know how sometimes (most times) during a tantrum you are frustrated (ok pissed off) with their behavior? I just felt bad for her today, she was shaking and couldn't breathe. I know how that feels when you just got overworked and can't calm down.

I worry about her, Owen had tantrums but he was a lot more laid back than her. I also get sick of people saying its because she is a girl. It's not because she is a girl, she has an intense personality, she knows how she wants things to work and gets frustrated because her skills don't match her expectations. I know that feeling, I have experienced it everyday since giving birth, it pisses a person off. Don't blame her gender, blame her personality!

Summer, What Summer

After three weeks of summer vacation I am finally off. Well, I still need go in on Monday and put in some orders for books and pick up some things I would like to work on at home. I think most people would be surprised at how much time most teachers work during the summer.

I participated in a few workshops over the last few weeks and did some test writing for our school district. This week's workshop was miserable, the instructor was big on name dropping so I started a tally to keep my self awake. I quickly realized I needed another category for every time he referred to his own awesomeness (ROA). I really hate listening to someone stroke their own ego in front of a large crowd.

I still have an online class that just started this week but it should be relatively easy. Bud starts his summer classes in two weeks, which will finish right before the school year starts. Whoooo

Wow so this whole post is me complaining, excellent way to start! For some happy news, my BIL and SIL had invitro this week so hopefully in two weeks they will get that positive. I am sending my best wishes out to the Internet.

Breaking Away

I have a blog about my kids for our family, however, I want my own spot to talk about what ever I want, without worrying about my Mother-In-Law or grandma or aunts getting offended. Not that I plan to be offensive, I just don't want to have to edit myself so much.

I want this to be a place to discuss recipe ideas, good fast dinners for a busy family, how to get poop out of the carpet, why I don't like our neighbors, how does my mother NOT like The Office? and share funny stories of my strange life. Of course, since my family doesn't know about this, I am basically talking to myself, which I am use to.

I teach high school math (yeah, I'm totally cool) and my husband Bud is a history teacher. We are at the same school which is great, we don't see each other a lot, but if needed we can find each other quickly. We have two children, my son Owen who is 5, and our daughter Maddie who just turned 2.

Lippy was my nick name in my early 20's because I have a bit of a sarcasm issue. I got the nickname from a chick who punched me because of said sarcasm. I hope a few people eventually read and enjoy!