Aren't Grandmas suppose to be nice?

This week has been crazy. Christmas totally kicked my ass. And there was family drama, yippee. My uncle T has been struggling, 10 years ago he was assaulted and had severe bra!n damage. He was only given a 10% chance of survival. When he lived he was expected to mostly just sit and stare.

But he has recovered a lot, most people would just think he is a bit odd. He had the front lobe of his bra!n removed, so he makes a lot of poor choices. One of the poor choices was having a child, who is in the process of being removed from his custody. He is unable to maintain a job, he tried for many years, but just keeps getting fired. He refuses to tell people about his brain damage, so they think he is weird. I think he would have been better off being more open about this, but what do I know. The custody thing, I just don't know what to think, a lot of what we are being told doesn't make sense. My mom is heart broken for him, he is her baby brother.

Anyway, two days before Christmas his apartment building burned to the ground. So we have been scavenging closets and cabinets for stuff to help him out. My grandma immediately started telling us that her and her husband couldn't help him because they have no money. (they bought a $75,000 boat in August) My mom said she has some money set aside and maybe after the holidays a furniture store would have one of those deals for a couch and end tables for $700 and she could buy it for him. My grandmother's response? "No I want him to have nice furniture, not cheap stuff ". Who says that? Naturally, my mom was pissed. Not to be a jerk, but he lives in sect!on 8 housing, lives on disability and is losing his kid, does he really need the "best" furniture. He has nothing, I 'm pretty sure he is ok with sale stuff.

So, bottom line, my grandma sucks.

Odds and Ends

My goodness I disappeared there for a few weeks. All sorts of crazy going on at work and at home.

• Ellie got her first tooth the day before Thanksgiving. Owen and Maddie didn't get a tooth until they were 8 1/2 months so she is clearly way smarter than them. She also chose that day to finally start liking solids.
• Thanksgiving was great, except for the screaming migraine I got just as dinner was served. So I ate quick and took a lortab and went to bed. Poor Bud had to clean up all by himself. But I had made enough mashed potatoes and gravy to last a week so that was awesome!
• Not awesome? My monthly friend came back. I did not miss that bitch. I was hoping that it would hold off for a few more months, I even waited to give Ellie solids until she was 6 months. Oh, well.
• We caught a group of students cheating and had to break up a whole ring cheating little asses. They are honors kids, so we were super frustrated with them. It created many hours of extra work, rewriting tests, giving new versions of exams.
• I have many letters of recommendation to write, which sucks. I am terrible at writing letters, and when I have to write them for Yale and Harvard I get all nervous. It is very stressful.
• Owen's teacher sent home a note today saying he went to the nurse's office today because he wasn't feeling well. He had no fever, but he seemed to struggle through the day. Does this mean we are suppose to keep him home? I don't think she knows he is a total hypochondriac. His stomach always hurts, he loves staying home sick. He does have a cough, but otherwise he runs around like normal. So I guess we will send him and feel like we are neglectful.

I still have some Christmas shopping to do. We don't know what to do about Ellie, technically I wouldn't bother giving her anything. But Owen and Maddie will be heartbroken if she doesn't get anything. So we are planning on finding stuff in the garage and wrapping it. Hopefully that will satisfy them.

How wrong?

Is it wrong to tell the children, every time they fight, a puppy dies?

Signs your child is not quite "normal"

This has been a difficult week. Ellie has been waking up a few times a night, she loses her pacifier and gets herself unwrapped. We are still swaddling her because she will pull the pacifier out and throw it across the room. You know that hysterical baby way they toss something, then realize, dude I totally want that. So if she is swaddled it takes longer for her to lose it. Which, when you are crawling under a crib feeling around for a clear pacifier, you want the longest interval possible. I don't even pretend to clean it off for her any more. A little dirt never hurt is my motto.

Which reminded me.... My family has always had a saying when you drop a fork, or pacifier or whatever " you have to eat a pound of dirt before you die". Which makes sense, why worry about every speck of dirt.

However, as a three year old I took this very differently. I thought it was more like a rule. I wondered what would happen if you didn't ingest enough dirt accidentally. What if I died young and hadn't eaten enough dirt? Would I be required to eat the remainder of the pound of dirt in one sitting? This concerned me quite a bit. So I decided the best course of action was to eat a spoon of dirt each day. This way, if I died at four or five I would have a head start on the bucket of dirt I was required to eat. I figured I would have to guess at how much dirt was in a pound, it sounded like a lot. I think I did this for a few weeks before my mom caught me. Then we had a long talk about figures of speech.

Notice how I never thought that if I never ate dirt I wouldn't die. Even at three that was a sort of optimism I couldn't even imagine. I don't know how I would respond to one of my kids explaining this thought process to me. A therapist? An exorcist? Sesame Street?

Bedtime Math

Teething + 6 month shots + gas = the suck of all hell - any sleep for parents



Good times

Trick or Treat Success!

And not a single person shit themselves!

Trick or Treat Fail

I never had a store bought costume while growing up. My mom would pull out the sewing machine and dad would make accessories like light sabers and wings from wire hangers. I was a clown, Holly Hobby, and a train engineer (fun). When I was 5 one of mom's friends offered to fix me up as a gypsy. With veils, and scarves and EYELINER. Holy crap, I was excited. I couldn't wait, it was going to be the best Halloween ever.

But I was not quite a normal kid, and apparently the week of excitement over the whole thing took a toll. As dress up time approached, my excitement peaked and I..... suffered some "intestinal issues" and spent the whole evening in the bathroom, crying. What 5 year-old gets themselves so worked up over a costume? This was the first of many times my anticipation got the best of me. I bet I was the only bride to take a precautionary Imodium the day of my wedding.

Work? What Work?

Blah, what a week, last week. Maddie has the fever on Tuesday and Wednesday. I stayed home with her on Tuesday and Bud took Wednesday. We got back to normal on Thursday, and Owen woke up at 5:00 am on Friday with a fever. So I was my turn again.

I hate missing work, it is more work to be gone than to be there. I took Owen in with me on Friday morning so I could put out lesson plans. My students get behind and it interrupts my flow. Parents start to get snippy if you are gone. We usually end up missing about 4 days each per year. Bud had a parent get all over him last year when he took off two days when Ellie was born. She sent nasty emails asking why it was ok for him to miss, but her daughter was penalized (make up work) if she was gone. Hmmmm, what could be the difference?

We are just hoping to keep Ellie from getting it, we have become obsessive hand-washers around here. I feel like I am scrubbing in every time I pick her up. But she makes it worth your while.

Awkward Moments #1

I am home today with Maddie, she has a raging fever, red eyes and a raspy voice. Swine flu? Who knows, Bud is also starting to feel sick, so I am considering taking Ellie to my mom's for a few days to minimize her exposure to the germiness.

For some reason this week I remembered one of the most humiliating experiences of my life, so hey, why not share it?

When I was twelve my parents moved from a biggish city in CA for a tiny town, in a rural state. It was my dad's hometown, and his family is completely nuts. You know the people in Deliverance? they are like that. Seriously. I had an uncle in the same grade as me, and he was very, very weird. Weird like, if I posted a picture of him, you would be afraid his crazy mountain man eyes would see you through the computer screen, and he would find you and eat you. So I won't post a picture. (you're welcome)

Anyway it was tough to make friends when your family was freaky like that. Also I was awkward, and mostly a lot of the girls were bitches. At least that's how I remember it. I was very shy, and for some reason at the end of 8th grade I decided to force myself to do things that scared me. I tried out for a play, and ironically got the part of a very popular girl, ha ha, now that's acting. I also joined the dance team, for my freshman year. Most schools would have tryouts but this school was so small, they didn't have that luxury. I found out there is a reason for those tryouts people. Good reasons!

I practiced our first routine like crazy, I went to all the practices, I went to another girls house to practice. The days before the first performance I spent time practicing at home in front of my mom. (we didn't have tv, so she was happy for the distraction). Our first performance was at the first basketball game of the season. Basketball was huge in this town, everyone came to the games, even people who didn't have kids. There was no movie theater in town, what else were they going to do?

The morning of the big day I woke up sick, my mom gave me some NyQuil and told me to sleep it off. I hadn't taken much NyQuil in the past, and had no idea how it could mess a girl up. I slept for a long time that day. Then woke up in a fog in time to go to the game. Our uniforms were black leotards with white fringe! Sexay hot! We were told to get black nylons, so my dad had pick some up for me. I had never really worn panty hose before so imagine my surprise when I put them on in the dressing room an found that I was suppose to get sheer to waist! Girls were yelling at me that I couldn't wear those, luckily someone had an extra pair. We also were painting our faces half black and half white, naturally I did mine backwards.

So half-time starts and we head out in front of the crowd! The gym was packed, you could smell the boys who had just left the court, and the air was humid from the all the people. The music started and I.... couldn't remember a bit of the routine. I stood there, periodically I would try desperately to join in, but was always a full 8 counts behind everyone else. It was the longest three minutes of my life.

Back at the dressing room, the advisor yelled at me. I got dressed and went to wash my face. I sat in the bathroom crying for a long time. Then I decided I was NOT going back into the gym. My mom had come to the game to see me, so I figured I would wait outside by the car for her. Naturally, it was raining. So I sat in the pouring rain, on the ground, crying for the second half of the game. My mom had anticipated me wanting to leave, she was waiting inside by the door. Eventually, she figured that maybe she missed me go back in the gym, so she went in to watch the rest of the game. It took forever for her to find me.

She did inform the advisor that I had known the routine I just panicked. So for the rest of the year I was forced to practice each routine blindfolded a few times. I guess the theory was to make it so automatic that even if I freaked out, my body would take over. I must have learned them well, because for years if I was drunk and trying to impress a boy, I would totally start one of the dances. I am sure I looked totally cool, even without the fringe.

Empty(ish) Nest

Bud is out on a daddy furlough this weekend, he is in Denver visiting his brother. They are going to the Cowboys/Broncos game today. This is also a chance for him to meet his niece. She was born the end of February, but she is smaller than Ellie. He left on Friday night and will get back on Monday afternoon.

My mom usually pick Owen and Maddie up on Saturday to take them to piano lessons, then has them spend the night. So this is a nice chance for me to get quality time with Ellie. She is five months old today, my last baby is five months old. We have had a nice day together, I enjoy being able to focus on her, especially since she seems to be teething. She has pooped out of 3 outfits in less than 24 hours, one was so bad I tossed it, so I guess I am focusing on her and her laundry.

I really wonder how single parents manage. This past week I had a kidney stone. If you are looking to spend 6 or 7 hours rolling around on your bed in excruciating pain, while trying to figure out how much lortab you can take without barfing, I totally recommend passing a kidney stone. Bud wanted to take me to the ER, but I am a pain in the ass and wouldn't go. My brother gets them all the time, and according to him, they give you an IV of fluids and pain meds. Well I can do that at home without waiting in a long line. (I can't do an IV obviously, but I can drink a lot and take my own pain stuff) Anyway it seems to have passed, but I kept thinking what would I have done if it had happened while Bud was out of town? What a suckfest that would have been.

Also, if Bud is gone I get totally paranoid. The weather has finally cooled here at night and we sleep with the windows open in our room, but not when he is gone. I am worried about someone breaking in, and also fire. I am scared shitless of fire y'all. When I was 8 my dad caught me climbing out my bedroom window, he started yelling at me for taking the screen out, until I explained I was practicing for a fire. I was even crawling from my bed to the window with my eyes closed in case it was dark during a fire. So....issues...I've got a bunch. Anyway, now I am terrified of not being able to get three kids out by myself. Last time Bud was out of town, we only had the two kids. I was outside at midnight one night figuring out if I could lower the kids from the patio cover outside our window. I have spent time finding different routes to get the kids out depending on where a fire might occur. Do other people do this or am I just completely nuts?

A Useful Project

Remember when I mentioned Maddie had lost her kitty? Still no luck on finding another one. What kills me is knowing somewhere out there is a kitty sitting unused in some toybox. I know we have stuffed animals laying around our house and somewhere is a mother desperately trying to find one.



Then I thought "hey there should totally be a place where people can post pictures of animals they are looking for!". Apparently the internets are 10 steps ahead of me. What next? Buying stuff on the internet?



Anyway this website is pretty cool. You can send in a picture of what you are looking for, and maybe someone has it or has seen it online somewhere. I check every few days to see if I have anything that someone can use. I did have one stuffed animal, and I sent it off a few weeks ago. So if you have a bit of time, go take a look and see if you can help someone out. I will warn you some of the stories are a bit sad. Kids in hospitals and such. Those are the ones I would really like to see found.

Hot Lunch

Dinner discussion:

Bud: Owen do you want to buy your lunch tomorrow? The menu is tacos, with an apple and a turnover.

Owen: What's a turnover?

Me: It is a crust with fruit inside.

Owen: I have no idea what you are talking about.

Me: Crust, pastry, dough with filling inside maybe apple, or some other fruit.

Owen: What?

Bud: LIKE A PIE! Do you want to buy lunch tomorrow or not?

Owen: Ok


Next day in the car:

Owen: Why didn't you guys tell me I was buying lunch today?

Bud:???????????

Bud: How was the turnover?

Owen: What?

Me: The turnover, how was it?

Owen: There wasn't a turnover.

Me: Then what did you have for dessert?

Owen: There wasn't a dessert.

Bud: There is always a dessert.

Owen: I don't know what you are saying.

Bud: grips steering wheel

Me: *kill me*

Owen: Hey, why didn't you guys tell me there was going to be pie?

Are all 6 year old boys like this? When does it end? Every conversation is like this, he just don't focus. I pity his future wife.

What a pain in the....

My whole life I have had headaches. I was diagnosed with migraines when I was two. (I don't know how they diagnose that but whatever) I remember leaving my friends house one evening when I was suppose to spend the night because I had a migraine. They have varied in frequency depending on the amount of stress in my life. The last few years I haven't had many migraines. But I do still get wicked bad headaches. (Many people assume a really bad headache is a migraine.....but they are different).

When I had my six week check I mentioned to the doctor that I was getting headaches nearly every day. She told me to see my primary care doctor, which I told her for the last 6 years I have been pregnant or nursing, she IS my primary care doctor. Which she didn't find amusing, if I ever find a doctor with a sense of humor, I will never leave them. So I made an appointment with a new doctor and finally got in last week. Basically I feel like I am falling apart. I have scoliosis, which causes a lot of back and neck pain, which triggers many of my headaches. I also have the tummy troubles. Teaching is not the best profession when your intestines decide liquification is the best option. So I went to the doctor and described all my woes.

For the stomach she suggested probiotics, less fatty foods and GASP cut out my three beautiful Pepsi's each day. So she sucks. But maybe has a point. I love my soda, it is a bright spot in my day. I love the taste, the caffeine, but mostly the carbonation. So I need to find something bubbly, but less harmful to the belly. Sigh

For my head, she gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxant, which should reduce my neck and back caused headaches. I mentioned the breastfeeding and was surprised by her response. She was very "breastfeeding is nice, but you need to take care of yourself, and take medication that YOU need to feel good." Which is odd, because when you are pregnant doctors don't really give a shit about you, just the baby. So that was totally weird, but she did prescribe something that should be okay.

So I took one Friday night, and maybe went into a coma, Bud said he kept checking to see if I was still breathing. I didn't even wake up when Ellie woke up in the morning, Bud got up with her. I think I slept for 9 straight hours, which is amazing for me. I usually wake up a lot with my back hurting, or to go to the bathroom, or because I one of the children's breathing changed rhythm. Then I can't fall back to sleep, and I lay there for an hour or two. So the sleep was great but I don't think I can take them on school nights. Unless I got to bed at 8:00.

I didn't take one Saturday night and woke up this morning with a horrifying headache. I realized I only had one soda yesterday, so some of it was caffeine withdrawal. So I took a few excedrin migraine(worthless), took a nap, then I finally took part of a lortab (they make me sick so I only take half), and drank two Pepsi's (apparently pain in the head trumps pain in the belly)

Anyway, I am thankful I don't get migraines like my SIL. She starts projectile vomiting for hours. One afternoon she called me when one started. I got to her house 15 minutes later to take my nephew for her. She had left a trail of vomit throughout her house. I really wanted to be the awesome SIL who cleaned it all up for her so she wouldn't have to deal with it later. I really tried, but finally gave up, because it was bad and I figured my brother could handle it. She gets them once or twice a month, she has tried a variety of medications, but hasn't had a ton of luck. So I count myself lucky.

Perspective

It's funny reading comments on the last post. I started by saying that being back at work was killing me, but thinking about it made me realize it is Bud and I being back at work that is killing me. All three of my kids are born in May, which means that after a few weeks Bud has been home with me.

All summer I have read blogs of many awesome ladies who had also recently had a third baby (is three the new two kids?). I spent all that time wondering how the heck ya'll do it without your husband at home. How do you wrangle two older kids and tend a baby? I had it easy because Bud and I could switch off, one baby equals two older kids. Even during June when he was finishing his masters I could still run and shower and not wonder if the kids would burn the house down. If one kid kept me awake, I could sleep in and he could get up with the kids. Very few mothers have that luxury.

If I stayed home the schedule wouldn't change that much. I would take the two girls with me to drop Owen off at school, I would still need to get them ready to get out the door. Then we would probably head somewhere to run errands or something. Then home for lunch and naps. Then pick up Owen and the rest of the evening would be the same. I wouldn't need to pump, but we wouldn't be able to afford the cleaning lady. ( which I am kind of embarrassed about having, it seems snooty, and lazy and pathetic) So I would have to spend more of my time cleaning. Plus I am guessing Bud would not help as much.

Work is the easy part of my day. Teenagers are fun, I love my job. Financially, I have to have a job, I am lucky enough that I have one that is fun. It also gives me the opportunity to spend more time with my family than most other professions. I frequently wish I could stay home, but I don't know that I would do that great of a job. I am not good about doing "kid stuff". Bud is always the one to suggest going to a museum, or park(I'm not an outside girl), or a movie. When he stays home with a sick kid, the house is cleaner, dinner is done and the tv is off.

Anyway, I know we will find better systems to make things run more smoothly. I need to let go of my dinner expectations. I really hate take-out, so I attempt to cook full on meals everynight. I need to let Bud cook two nights a week and stop being a control freak. Soup and sandwiches is a perfectly acceptable mid-week dinner. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy, more of a weekend dinner.

Where does the time go?

Being back at work is totally kicking my arse. It takes a few weeks to get back up to speed, and each year I question if it is even possible. Owen is at a new school, and is in a before school program since his school starts an hour and a half after we need to be to work. Maddie and Ellie's daycare provider was out of town for the last three days, so we had to take them to our daycare lady's DIL (also does daycare). Ellie didn't care but Maddie was freaked out the first day. ( Owen informed us he didn't "feel good about leaving Ellie in a strange place, what if one of the kids hurt her. Now that they are done, he feels bad for thinking the DIL couldn't handle it. He was born with ingrained guilt. Sweet.)

Here is how our day looks

3:00-5:00 give Ellie her pacifier 1 to 739 times (her awesomeness seems to have gone to hell)
5:00 wake up/ get up if I am awake from pacifier duty
5:00 - 5:40 shower, makeup, hair find clothes that fit
5:40 -6:45 pack up milk for Ellie, feed and dress Ellie, pump, nag at Owen and Maddie to hurry
(Bud does lunches for us and Owen, gets kids breakfast, fixes a bagel for me, loads car and helps nag)
6:45 leave house
7:00 leave driveway (I don't know what happens, there is a time zone shift)
7:10 Drop off Ellie and Maddie
7:20 Drop off Owen
7:30 -3:10 Work ( pumping during lunch, eating with one hand)
3:20 Pick up Maddie and Ellie
3:35 pick up Owen
4:00-5:15 fix dinner, feed Ellie, throw in laundry, yell at kids for fighting (Bud helping w/everything but the feeding)
5:15 - 5:45 Dinner
5:45 - 7:30 Owen's homework, piano lessons (both me), Maddie's "homework and piano lessons"and cleaning kitchen (Bud), trying to eat feet(Ellie), throwing up on carpet(cats), baths, more laundry
7:30-8:00 Owen and Maddie jammies, teeth, lay out clothes for the next day, put away laundry, bedtime stories(usually Bud)
8:00-8:45 Ellie bath, jammies, thank God no teeth, feed
8:45-10:00 pick up house, make stuff ready for the next day, look at lesson plans for next day, pump (both of us for everything but pumping)
10:00 weep and go to bed.

The only thing saving my sanity at this point is that we have someone come every other week and clean. Thank goodness Bud actually does his fair share or I would never sleep. I am hoping I will get into a better groove soon I haven't been able to comment on other blogs the way I would like. I am still reading, during night time pumping.

Lippy

As I mentioned before my nickname was Lippy in my younger days. (now it's just bitch, whatever) I decided to tell the story of how I got the nickname.

A little back story. My best friend V is a year older than me, and when I was 17 she dated a guy who was a few years older, we will call him Not a Nice Guy, aw screw it let's call him Ass. She liked him but after a month or two she found out he was seeing someone else as well, we will call her Stupid. My friend was bummed and irritated, but they weren't serious, so what can ya do?

Fast forward a couple weeks and Stupid and her sister Skank were hired to work at the same place V and I worked. Fun times. Anywho, V was also friends with Ass's roommate, that's they met, so she would hang out with Roommate occasionally. Now Roommate was older and could buy booze, yay Roommate, way to be over 21.

So one evening we were hanging out at Roommates place drinking. Then Ass came home with Stupid, at first it was awkward, but V really didn't care. So a fun time was had by all.......until more drinking had been done. Suddenly, Ass started saying we needed to leave. I wanted to go anyway, so V started trying to round up the other girl who came with. I put my coat on and waited on the couch. As got more and more adamant about us getting out, I explained we were leaving pronto, but he just got more and more agitated about it being his house. I, reasonably, pointed out that it was also Roommates place too.

Ass went crazy, he stormed over to where I was sitting on the couch, picked me up at threw me across the room, into the wall. Now, my dad was an alcoholic asshole while I was growing up. Emotional abuse was not unheard of, but physical......no. I expected Ass to feel like, an Ass, so I turned to yell it him. But he was coming at me with his fists. So I turned and got the hell out. I had bruises across my chest which was impressive, since I had a winter coat on as cushioning.

V was totally freaking out, we considered calling the police, but since there was underage drinking on our parts we were afraid to. We went to a bar that had after drinking hours dancing, and we ran into Stupid's sister Skank and another sister. We immediately told Skank what happened and that we were concerned about Stupid, since obviously he was not right in the head. Also Stupid had a 2 year old, and that didn't seem like a good situation. Well, Skank informed us, that she was only getting one side and I maybe deserved it. Funny, at the time I was offended, but now I see that maybe the way they were raised was really messed up.

We ran into other friends of ours and naturally started talking about what happened. Skank got really pissed and told me I was spreading rumors, and better shut up. Well, it was on. I was sarcastic at a very early age, and was particularly drunk that night. So I started mouthing off to her. V was standing in between, trying to smooth things over, and just when everyone would calm down, I would peek over her shoulder and throw another witty barb at them. V would try not to laugh, and work to chill them out again. This went on for quite some time, at one point Skank reached over V and punched me, in mah face. Sadly, I was so drunk I had to ask people around me if I was punched. I really wanted to beat the hell out of Skank, but eventually V got me out of there.

A few months later, Ass went after Stupid, surprise. And then Stupid and Skank could see how right we were. We all became friendly, and Stupid and Skank started nicely calling me Lippy, as opposed to calling me Lippy little bitch which is what they had been calling me.

In retrospect, I would have told my dad what happened. He would have been pissed that I was drinking, but he would have gone and kicked the shit out of the Ass. I also learned that night that you can make fun of stupid people without them even realizing it half the time. And sometimes girls will put up with crap they really shouldn't and that is scary.

Written out this story seems a lot less funny than I remember it.

Seven Years

7 years
2 houses bought
1 house sold
3 cats
0 dogs
13 rooms painted
1 bachelor's degree
2 master's degrees
1 transmission
1 radiator
2 starters
4 car batteries
1 new minivan
3 positive pregnancy tests
2 obstetricians
2 high risk doctors
1 day in November
3 days in May
3 beautiful kids
200 sleepless nights
3 bouts of croup
4 barfing flus
80247 poopy diapers
1 first day of Kindergarten
a lot of joy
a little heartbreak
a bunch of fear
hours of laughter
more love than I ever imagined

Where will the next seven take us? Happy Anniversary babe!

Third Wheel

Ellie is an awesome baby. She has been sleeping pretty well at night, most nights she is in bed by 9:00 and usually doesn't wake up until 5:00. She has even been able to go to sleep on her own. At night I set her in her bassinet with her pacifier and she will usually fall asleep on her own. She will also doze off in this chair , which Bud and I call the magic chair.

So Ellie is pretty easy at this point. Not easy is Maddie. I have am kind at my wits end with her. When Owen was this age and Maddie was born it didn't seem to affect him at all. However Ellie seems to have ruined the Maddie I have known and loved. She has constant tantrums, nothing makes her happy and she is very mad at us, particularly me.

On the one hand I can really sympathize with her. She sees Owen doing all these big kid things like reading and going to school. She sees Ellie getting all sorts of attention and cuddles. And she seems to be somewhere in between. I use to laugh at the whole middle child thing, I figured everyone has it hard in some way. I am starting to see that it may be a bit tough to be the middle kid.

However, this doesn't excuse her behavior. She sometimes hugs Ellie, reaaallly hard, or gahh has pinched her cheeks, and once slapped her on the head. She has gone after Owen with the plastic golf clubs, which occasionally he has deserved. Any little thing will set her off, she starts screaming, thrashing and kicking. We have done lots of time outs, we have sent her to her room, I am thinking an exorcism is in order.

Last week was really bad. My mom has been very silently disaproving the way we talk about Maddie being a beyotch. She thinks Maddie is a total angel and can do virtually no wrong. Then last week Maddie pitched a total fit when mom was here. Mom made a comment about there being no consequences for her acting up. Which isn't true, however Maddie had spent the night at moms house and got to sleep late and she had also been given a lot of candy. Sometimes it isn't worth having a knock down drag out with a three year old.

I just don't know how to walk the line of helping her through the transition and maintaining discipline. Dude, parenting is hard sometimes. Plus, I spend a lot of time with teenagers, some of whom are very messed up and I wonder where did things go wrong? Will Ellie's birth mark the down hill slide for Maddie? Will she end up pregnant, on drugs and drop out of school because I wanted another baby? Or because I didn't handle everything properly? Which lead to much weeping on my part last week. Then I started thinking maybe I should just run away with Ellie, so Owen and Maddie can have their old lives back. Which made me start to think I may be having some post partum issues. I was talking to Bud and my mom about it, and they both think I should mention it to my doctor. I will, but just realizing that maybe my parenting decisions today won't condemn Maddie to a life of deliquency is pretty helpful.

Woo, this has rambled on alot. Any advice on dealing with a three year old would be great. By the way three year olds are way worse than the two's aren't they?

Tough Act to Follow

For those of you who were impressed with these mushrooms I made, check this out:

That is a cake made by my sister in law. And no she isn't a professional. I took a bunch of pictures, my mom freaked out when SIL started cutting it up. She really is talented. She is also an engineer, which maybe helps. I really need to step up my game. Thanks Vicki (bitch).

P.S. I really do love her. And yes the whole thing is cake and fondant. I did help, I lent her my fondant roller.

In Sickness and Health The Finale

So I spent Saturday morning waiting for some test to be done and for my doctor to release me. In the meantime the nurse came by with pain medication. She brought liquid lortab, which I can't take because it makes me throw up. Now I'm not a doctor, I don't play one on tv and I didn't even sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I don't think throwing up is a good way to keep a cauterized throat from bleeding some more. When I told her that it would make me sick she offered crackers to settle my stomach. Yeah, 90 minutes of throat cauterizing, I'm sure a few packets of Saltines would really hit the spot. I explain all I could take was demerol and morphine. She called my doctor and came back to inform me it would have to be in shot form...like it was a punishment or something. Okey dokey.

Finally a blood person showed up to do a crazy test. The cut your arm and dab the blood every 30 seconds to see how long it takes for you to stop bleeding. She gave the range of average times and said that they kind of give up after 9 minutes. Sure enough nine minutes later I was still bleeding. She took some blood for testing and left. Mom and Bud were out getting a bite to eat, thus I didn't have anyone in the room with me who was coherent. I forgot to ask how I would get the results.

My doctor came in and I was expecting to be released, but he wanted to have me stay another night. Gahhhhh. I really don't like hospitals, and it was depressing. They don't have a wing for crazy complications so I was in the orthopedic surgery recovery area. The nurses didn't know what the heck to do with me. When my mom said she was visiting her daughter they tried to send her to maternity. Because when you are 31 you should be having babies, not tonsil problems.

Months prior to the debacle my brother got my mom tickets to Paul McCartney, I was suppose to go with her, but as luck would have it that was the day I was in the hospital. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to go, even before the doctor said I had to stay another night. So it was decided Bud would go with my mom. Their only concern was me being left alone in the hospital. My brother and almost SIL came to the hospital to sit with me. In my family you are not allowed to be sick or in the hospital by yourself to get rest, you must have constant companionship.

Now at this point Bud had only had 4 hours of sleep in the last 60 or so hours, and my mom had not slept all of friday night either. So they went to the concert and got lost on the way back to my moms. They were at a stop sign and had no idea which way to turn. They were one block from her house. They had to drive around for a while before finding it.

The next morning I was finally released. That night I started throwing up again! I used the trash can, and Bud picked through the trash to happily announce that there was no blood. For some reason I kept throwing up for a few weeks. I was in the bathroom peeing at one point and coughed, next thing I know the door is open and Bud was asking if I was ok. The whole thing really traumatized him. They never really figured out what the problem was, there was speculation about some ibuprofen I took for cramps. Who knows? I have never had problems since. I think my doctor was also traumatized, he said he had never seen anything like that in the 27 years he had been in practice.

It took me a few months to feel back to my old self. It took me even longer to gain back all the weight I lost, I had to wait until the last possible week to have my wedding dress fitted because I didn't want to it to be fitted when I had lost 15 or 20 pounds that I needed to gain back. Even with all that trouble I would still have chosen to have them taken out. When they were removed my doctor found a lot of dead tissue so they would have kept causing a lot of problems. I stopped getting sick as often once the tonsils were out.

But the biggest thing for me was seeing how Bud took care of me. It was so great knowing I was marrying someone who would take care of me, no matter how gross and nasty I was. It was the first time since I was a little girl that I could completely let myself go and know that he would handle everything. He gave me a sponge bath in the hospital so the nurse didn't have to, he held my hair when I threw up, he picked up prescriptions at the store, carried the TV up and down stairs depending on where I wanted to lay, he called my sub and coworkers everyday to make sure my students would have productive work each day. Knowing I would grow old with someone who would always be there for me was worth every bit of pain and suffering.

In Sickness and Health Part 2 b

So for the second night in a row we were heading out of the house late at night with a bucket. Bud had only slept about 4 hours in the last 36 hours. The hospital was in an unfamiliar part of town for us, and the area wasn't well lit, we could see the ER doors but couldn't figure out how to drive up to them. I was calm but Bud was freaking out (a preview to drives to the hospital in labor) so he opted to 4 wheel through the empty lots rather than drive around anymore.

My doctor had called ahead so as soon as we walked in the intake people sat us down to sign papers. While I was filling out paperwork my doctor came in the door, gave me a hug and informed me the "team" was on the way. I had a team! It was very comforting, and the fastest I have ever been through the ER. The dr informed the front desk Bud could finish my paper work and he took me back to prep for surgery. I was immediately changed into a gown and given a (terrible) IV. ( I am a total wimp about IV's.) We took this opportunity to call my mom and brother to let them know what was going on. My dr said the surgery would probably take 20 minutes, so Bud told my mom it was up to her if she wanted to come. It was 1:00 am by this point and she doesn't like to drive.

I was wheeled off to the OR, the anesthesiologist took one look at my IV and asked "who the hell did this to her arm?". He patted me on the arm and said "don't worry honey, I will fix this for you." I don't normally enjoy people being all patty, and huggy and calling me terms of affection, but in this case it was really reassuring. Then they started the drugs and the nurse told me to count back from 100 and put the palms of her hands on my neck and pressed down. Just before passing out I thought, damn they are in some kind of hurry.

When I woke up I begged for some carmex for my super dry lips. That is my tip for anyone going to the hospital, take carmex. The nurses slapped a ton on me and I loved them. I saw Bud and mom on my way to the room, they each held my hand for a minute, but weren't allowed in my room because it was the middle of the night. I kept waking up the rest of the night and would see one of the two of them peeking in my door to check on me. I found out later that they avoided looking at a clock during the surgery, finally when they did look they realized I had been in surgery for 90 minutes. Shortly after that my dr came out and told them I had 13 spots in my throat that were bleeding. The would cauterize one spot and move on to another, then another would start up again. Finally, after an hour and a half they got all but one to stop. The decision was to wake me up, and keep me from having any food or liquid for 6 days. Ok, maybe it was just five hours. But I had been drinking 12-15 bottles of water each day. That was the longest thirstiest 5 hours of my life. They gave me some of those damp spongey things to suck on, but those were no relief. I was told I would go through a few tests the next day.

In Sickness and Health Part 2 a

This should really be labeled Part 1/2 but whatever. For as long as I can remember I have had a lot of problems with my tonsils. When I was little they wanted to take them out, but my parents didn't have the money or insurance. (what it was the 70's). So I was just stuck with them. The summer of 2001 I had a really bad bout of tonsilitis and had a quick care doctor tell me I just had to live with chronic tosilitis because I was too old (screw you buddy) to do anything about it. But when I went to an ENT and he thought that was total crap.

So a few weeks after Bud and I got engaged I had my tonsils out during spring break. Which is surprisingly an out patient procedure. I remember being in so much pain and having a really long list of meds to take, pain medication, antibiotics, and nausea medicine. During the day my mom would stay with me while Bud was at work, at night Bud stayed with me. I was in a lot more pain than I expected. Most pain medication makes me sick, the doctor couldn't have me throwing up so, I got the only thing that works well for me, Demerol (wooot). Which really doesn't get rid of the pain, you just don't care about pain any more. I couldn't eat anything solid and the only thing that sounded good were banana popsicles. I would wake Bud up multiple times in the night to go downstairs and get me another popsicle, and he would do it.

Anyway, after ten days of recovery I still felt like ass. But I had a cheerleading banquet to go to, I was the head advisor (shut up, I know..it was a total joke. Cheerleaders didn't even talk to me when I was in school) and the dinner had been planned for a while. I still couldn't drive because of all the medicine I was on, so my SIL drove me and Bud picked me up. It was like being in middle school all over again.

After we got back to my house Bud ran to the store before going home to work on a paper. I was drinking 12-15 bottles of water each day so he figured he would run and grab me some, then head home. While he was gone I got really nauseous and threw up blood, lots and lots o'blood, all over the bathroom. When Bud got back I was crying so he went into the bathroom and kind of freaked out a bit. He started to clean up the bathroom, which I shit you not, I had manage to throw up on every wall, the sink, behind the toilet, the only surface I didn't hit was the ceiling. I can't really explain what happened, I was aiming for the toilet, it just didn't work out. I was barfing into a bucket at this point and Bud was really worried. He called the doctors emergency number and the two decided I needed to get in to the office immediately. So we headed off, me with my bucket, Bud driving.

When we got to the office the doctor was waiting for us. He checked me out and could see a spot that was bleeding. He needed to get some special gauze on the bleedy spot and also use a suction thing to suck out the blood or something, but when someone jams gauze down your throat your instinct is to fight them. So he has his forearm pressed against my chest while trying to shove stuff into my throat while I gagged. Poor Bud was just holding foot and leg since that was all he could reach. After an hour or so of us wrestling we finally got to go home. The dr told Bud he had to watch me all night to make sure I didn't choke on the gauze and bring me back in the morning. So Bud rented some movies and playstation games and watched me sleep the rest of the night.

In the morning we went back to the dr office and had the dressing taken out of my throat. We went back to my place and Bud slept for 4 hours. Then he went home to work on that paper. He came back later that evening ( I didn't have a computer) so we could hang out. I started feeling sick again when into the bathroom and more blood! I came out of the bathroom crying and Bud just sat me on the couch, got me clean jammies out of the dryer, found the bucket and called the doctor. He told the doctor we were heading to the hospital and we would me him there...............

(to be continued) I know longest story ever.

Sunscreen, not just for children

We had such a great time on our trip! The kids were awesome in the car, Owen and Maddie watched movies, Ellie slept and I got to read a book!

We went to Sea World on the first day. As soon as we got out of the car Maddie saw the roller coaster and immediately said she wanted to ride on it, Owen was adamant that he didn't. Sadly, Maddie is a bit too short. We made sure the kids were all covered in sunscreen, but I got distracted and forgot to sunscreen myself. So 2 hours into the day I was burnt to a crisp. I put a ton on after that but it sucked. ( I started peeling and Bud can't leave it alone. He was peeling big chunks off today and offering me money to eat it. I don't know what is wrong with him. )

I had worried about the kids begging for stuff. So we told them as soon as we got to the park that the would get a souvenirs, but not until the end of the day. Maddie fell in love with a dolphin hand puppet with a squeaker. She waited patiently all day and we bought it just before we left. The next day she wanted to take it with us and we let her. She also had her kitty, it is the head of Marie from Aristocats attached to a little blanket. What are those things called anyway? we use to call it kitty head. Anyway as we were leaving the park we realized she didn't have the dolphin or kitty.

Bud ran through the park looking for them and we went to the lost and found, but they hadn't been turned it. I was so sick over it, I started crying. She has had that kitty since she was 10 months. I got it at the Disney outlet for two dollars. When I realized how much she liked it I started looking for another, my sister-in-law found one. We have switched them out for washings, so I knew we would be able to replace it, but now we don't have a spare. I have googled looking for another, I would pay a lot for another one. The folks at lost and found said they would mail them if they were turned in. Can you believe someone found them and kept them? I can see with the dolphin because it was obviously new, but kitty was nasty. Maddie rubs it on her face and the fur is all matted up. It is clearly a lovey for a small kid. What kind of ass keeps it? Anyway she woke up a few times at the hotel asking for blanket kitty. Broke my heart.

Conversations with a 6 year old Part 2

Owen was helping my mom organize some things in her classroom.

Grandma: blah blah blah curse curse

Owen: Grandma why do you say shit so much? Shit isn't a nice word you really shouldn't use it.

Vacation

As parents we are total wimps about taking our kids to the traditional family recreational spots. We had planned a family vacation to San Diego this week but at the last minute we changed our plans because of Bud's "procedure". (Don't go getting any ideas Internet, we will be home! With guns! Flamethrowers! And small children who will wear down your soul with requests for snacks! So don't think you can come rob our house). Anyway we will be going later in the summer. This will be our first real family vacation, that doesn't entail visiting people. We are traveling just for the "fun" of it.

Most summers we travel to PA to visit Bud's family. However, these are not really "vacations", maybe a vacation from sanity, a vacation from regularly scheduled meals, a vacation from privacy and a vacation from central air conditioning. I love our visits with his family, they are a lot of fun and I really feel like I am part of the family. BUT they never eat. I don't understand this, it will be a full two hours after a meal time and then they finally discuss what to eat. Then someone has to go to the store, then there is the actual preparation. This is not a concept I am familiar with, my family plans lunch while eating breakfast, and plans dinner during lunch. And there is much snacking in between, in addition to reminiscing about meals we have eaten in the past, you know with pictures of the food. I was always hungry in PA, but now we buy a bunch of food our first day, and we eat whenever we want.

Over the years we have perfected our travel technique. We always rent a car, buy our own snacks to stave off starvation and we stay with Bud's aunt and uncle. They work during the day so when we wake up they are leaving for work. We always get a few hours of privacy before the chaos of the day begins. Also, MIL's house has been in the process of a remodel for 20 years. The bathroom is missing, missing, a wall. Instead there is a shower curtain, instead, of a wall. Seriously, I can't use the bathroom under those conditions. You just shouldn't be walking around the house and see someone's feet while they are on the toilet. Just......no.

So what's crazy about your family vacations? No food? Food obsession? Public pooping?

Nine Weeks!

This was taken on Monday, when she was officially nine weeks. Later she went to the doctor and had her shots. Then she spent about 2 hours crying that night. Thanks vaccines!

In Sickness and in Health

Wow this has been a big weekend. Bud had a vasectomy on Friday. Crazy. I haven't mentioned it because I know that with my age, and our income bracket we can't just keep having kids. With the complications and difficulties I don't know if I could deal with the stress. (Recap- twins! lost one twin! maybe brain damage! chemical test positive for spina bifida but ultrasound good so who can tell?) It is still sad, but even if we had ten there would still be a last baby. And she feels like such a miracle, I am afraid we would be tempting fate.

So back to the big V, I think men are treated a bit differently in these circumstances. The doctor told him to "shave his sack" the morning of the procedure. Nothing more specific. I think women would have been given better directions, maybe even a diagram. He had the same concerns I would have either a) not shaving enough and getting yelled at or b) shaving too much and having them think you are a freak. Anyway everyone told him "no big deal". All the men coming out were gimping a bit, but nothing too bad. When Bud came out he was white as a sheet. He had almost passed out while checking out, he was in a lot of pain the rest of the night and has been much more sore than we anticipated. Luckily my mom had the kids Friday night, and when we could see he was still struggling they stayed Saturday night as well.

It has been tough keeping him off his feet, he doesn't take well to just laying on the couch. I keep reminding him of all the times he has taken care of me, tonsillectomy, gallbladder removed, childbirth. But he doesn't listen, I am a bit pissed at him because he isn't suppose to lift anything heavy for another 4 days, and he carried Maddie up to bed. I know he is trying to be helpful, but if he hurts himself and ends up with complications he will be laid up much longer. Some men don't help out when they're healthy, some can't stop helping. Isn't there a happy medium?

Random Bullets

• Facebook-WTH. Are there rules or something? I find it nearly as stressful as high school. What are the rules about friending people? And then how long do you have to chat with them? What if I just want to play around on FB stalking people? I don't want to be interrupted by chatting. But if you say you need to get the kids to bed you have to get off FB or they can tell you lied. Dude, it is stressful. I don't know if I really want to get to into it or not.

• Breastfeeding- I need a system for frozen milk. I currently have about 60 frozen bags and Bud and I are both dissatisfied with the system in place. (current system is shoving it the freezer and having it fall out everytime I open the freezer) Our deep freeze still has a ton of meat, and I seem to be pumping faster than we are able to consume the dead cow. I need more ways to use round steak.

• Postpartum weight loss- FAIL. I guess downing two pieces of cheesecake while on the phone with a friend is not conducive to weight lose. It is however,conducive to not losing your damn mind. Those are my choices: skinny(ish) ass or my mind. When it appears I have gone completely crazy just assume my ass looks awesome.

• Babies- Eight 20 minute naps on my chest throughout the day make a crabby baby and a crabby momma. Consolidation is the solution! Try it, I think we all will appreciate the difference.

Conversations with a six year old

Owen is loving the trip to Washington. My aunt and uncle have 3 acres of land which is way better than the 100 square feet of yard we have. Anyway, he calls us everynight and this was part of my conversation with him;

Me: How is the weather there?

Owen:_________

Me: Is is hot or cold?

Owen: It is hot and cold.

Me: When is it cold?

Owen: On both ends.

Me: Both ends of what????

Owen: Both ends of when its hot.

Kids got a point.

Letter to the Internet

Dear Internet,

Just so you know I pushed a baby out my hoo-haa six weeks ago with a bit of "damage". So your twice daily emails touting penis ENLARGEMENT, not so much. Seriously, the idea makes me cry. Leave me and the bruised hoo-haa alone.

That is all,

Lippy

Start Saving Now

Owen is losing his first tooth. It has been super loose for about a week now, yesterday I took a look at it and noticed something interesting. The adult tooth has popped up well behind the baby tooth. I imagine this is a sign of orthodontia in our future. We have a dentist appointment in two weeks, hopefully he can tell us how much money we should start putting aside each month to pay for the braces and headgear that I am sure will be required. That combined with Maddie's love of her thumb should make us very popular to some orthodontist.

I am hoping he loses the tooth in the next 30 hours. He leaves on Wednesday with my mom and nephew for a 10 day trip to Washington. So if he loses the tooth on his vacation I will be very sad, no one in this house has the stomach for speeding the process. We agreed to this trip months ago, and now are nervous about how long he will be gone. It will cut down on the amount of fighting, I am sure Maddie will still be her stellar little self, but at least she won't have a big brother pestering her all the live long day. We are sending an envelope for each day that he is gone. I plan to include a variety of things, notes saying we love him, gum, maybe stickers or tattoos. Any other suggestions?

How do you get three kids looking cute, smiling and no red eye all in one picture?


Is it safe to assume we got this outfit for the humor factor, right? No one actually believes a baby will wear this without crying?


I am afraid to even wash it, I think the flower on the front will fall apart. But she is very stylish.

BFF

My very best friend (V) is going through some tough times. We met in high school and have been friends for more than 20 years. Her husband is an alcoholic and she has decided to divorce him. He has become progressively more verbally abusive over the last year. We live about 10 hours apart, and I just got a call from one of her friends. Her husband has been threatening to take their son and make sure she never sees him again. He has also been threatening to kill himself, and making vague threats against her. She is staying with friends tonight, and they have called the police. I wish I had some way of helping her, if I had not just given birth I would go visit her. But I really can't take a new baby (or any child) into that situation, and I can't leave her here because I am the food source. I don't know if V can come out here right now, she will need to talk to her lawyer first. If she can, I think it would be good for her to escape the situation for awhile. I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. She has worked really hard over the last year to improve her life, she has lost almost 70 pounds, she teaches an exercise class, and she has found new hobbies. She was hoping he would want to make some changes for himself, but apparently not. I remember at their reception telling him if he ever hurt her I would kick his ass, apparently I have some ass kicking to do. Maybe it will help get rid of the baby weight.

An Officer and a what?

I just finished watching An Officer and a Gentleman. I do love that movie, and with my awesome post partum hormones I got the weepies. But not at the expected part, the end when he goes to the factory to sweep Debra Winger off her feet. No I started crying during the scene when Mayo has his last chance to break the record for the obstacle course, but instead he helps the girl who has never been able to get over the wall. For some reason that was really touching. I hope that I can raise my kids so they are willing to help others.

And an update on the mushrooms.... I totally got the idea to use meringue a few months ago, when I went to Allrecipes to find a recipe I found this so apparently I wasn't the first one to think of it. I wouldn't have thought of the cocoa powder. I am also trying to figure out other uses for the meringue. Because it was so fun to make. Also I am a cooking dork.

May Madness

Whew, we are finally done with the birthdays. I'm sure next year will be great with three kids birthdays in 3 weeks. I think considering I gave birth this month that everything went well.

Owen doesn't like cake (????) so he wanted an ice cream cake, and he also wanted pizza. His party was a breeze, other than finding something to wear 5 days after giving birth. He had another dinosaur birthday, his third dino party in six years. At least he is consistent.

Maddie wanted Tinkerbell, which was a lot of fun. I had fun making her cake, it turned out better than I expected, but the pictures didn't really turn out so well.

I made the mushrooms from meringue, they turned out really well. And they were super tasty. I lost the candle that I bought for the cake, luckily Bud bought her a small Tinkerbell doll for her birthday, so I used that instead. Here is a close up of some of the mushrooms.

I can't wait to see what cakes I need to come up with for next year.

What kind of party will this one want?

Hot Potato

The whole third child thing is going well. Ellie is a great eater, she would nurse all the live long day if we let her. She is also a prolific pooper, like her brother and sister before her. And she generally sleeps pretty well. So the baby part is good, I am recovering pretty well. Until today.

I have a habit of getting stupid injuries, and I think today is a perfect example. I was heating up my lunch in microwave. When I took it out the juice from the pot roast splashed me, burning my hands. I hurried up and set it down so I could put my hands under cold water. Then I noticed my foot was also burning, somehow one of the potatoes escaped the plate, landed on the floor and I stepped on the searingly hot potato. Which was stuck between my toes. So I hoisted my foot up to the sink, while being cautious of the ho-ha stitches. I have been sitting with an ice pack for a few hours now, and the toes seem pretty burnt.

Bud was shocked that I managed to hurt myself in the 5 minutes he was in the shower. But he has not once but twice been hit by cars, so he has no room to judge.

Look Who's Here

Here she is....... Ellie Marie was born on May 4th at 10:08 am. She weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long.

I will do a more indepth story of her birth at some point. The birth itself was pretty uneventful, except for a certain older sibling getting sick as I was actually pushing this one out. Also for those about to give birth, I recommend going into labor early in the day. If you go into labor at night you will never get that sleep back. But she seems worth it.

Owen and Maddie are totally smitten with little Ellie. Notice their hair color? Can you understand our surprise that Ellie has dark hair?

Also any recommendations on how to get rid of the retained water? Bud keeps making fun of my "Fat Bastard" feet. They are so swollen the skin hurts. I have tried keeping them up, but it hasn't helped much yet. Oh and my " Fat Bastard" boobs came in last night. I need to wake the baby and make her eat before they explode.

Eviction Notice

I am so ready to have this baby. I know I am not due for another two weeks, but seriously...am done. I was have some contractions last night but they eventually petered out. Last Friday I was at 3 cm, so I was hoping to go into labor. Tomorrow is my last day of work, so that is exciting. Some of my students decorated my classroom, it was a bunch of boys, so the streamers were red, blue, yellow and green. The balloons were black, brown and green. It creacked me up, because we all know girls would have color coordinated everything. It was really nice of them, and it cheered me up a lot.

We still need to come up with a name for this girl, so we should probably get on that. I can't wait to meet her. I also can't wait to stand up and not feel like my crotch is going to fall apart.

36 Weeks

Less than 4 weeks to go...Wooo wooo. My other two were each two weeks early, so I am anticipating the same with this one. I am sure she will try to prove me wrong. At my doctor appointment yesterday I was a bit dilated and effaced, so yay.

My three appointments a week are starting to get tiresome. On Thursday I was a bit worried, my fluid levels were way down. I am trying to stay off my feet a bit and drink a ton of water. I had a lot of issues with low fluid with Maddie. She was also diagnosed with Intrauterine Growth Restriction, so I was on bedrest after 35 weeks. I would like it if I didn't have to repeat that again. I am planning on starting my maternity leave on May 4th, I have yet to make it to my target date with any of my pregnancies, maybe the third time is a charm.

My AP kids take their test on the 6th, and I would like to make it as long as possible. I have planned everything for my sub, all the worksheets, tests, quizzes and activities are in a folder dated for her. I was waking up at night worried about going into labor and not being ready at school. So that makes me feel a bit better. Of course, we don't have a bag packed for ourselves, so maybe I should take care of that this weekend.

Now if I could just get some sleep, I wake up a million times to go to the bathroom. I am sweating all the time so I don't use any covers, and I discovered I sleep better without pants. I am starting to keep poor Bud awake, which gives him more time to stress out about the papers he has to write in the next few weeks. I'm sure he appreciates that. I know he loves me flailing around trying to roll my gigantic self out of bed, the cats hate it too, but they don't help around the house, so too bad for them.

Question

Is it a good idea to rough house with the children while getting them ready for bed? Then be annoyed when they won't settle down? Just wondering........

Mom Update

As I said before my mom will wait and ignore whatever argument we have had then after a few days she calls and acts like nothing happened. Well Tuesday night after our fight she called and told me that we should do whatever we think is best! Which, as we all know, moms don't apologize so this was as good as it gets. Y'all I totally won! It was the first time, yay for me.



I don't know why mothers and daughters struggle so much. It kills me to know that someday my daughters will think I am crazy. I will at least try to apologize when I am blatantly wrong. (which will never happen, I am sure)

Normally my mom is really awesome. She is a terrific grandma, her idea of fun is to have all four grandkids (5 and under) spend the night. Then she will take them out to eat! by! herself! Dude, Bud and I think twice before we take our two kids out in public. She colors and paints with them, she lets them eat candy by the handful. It is great for Bud and I, we actually get a bit of time together. Of course we use that time to write papers for our various classes, but still, it is nice. If she could dial down the crazy it would really help.

My Mom is the BEST (sarcasm)

I am so pissed at my mother right now. I truly can't hardly see through the tears right now. She enrages me so much.

First of all, we normally get along pretty well. We have a lot in common, both math teachers, similar styles and a lot of similar views. We talk on the phone a lot, and hang out quite a bit. I could identify with the mom posts today and figured I had a bit to write about later tonight. Then I had a conversation on the phone with my mom and we got into a huge fight!

A bit of background, Owen's birthday is a week before the baby is due. Both kids were born two weeks early, so we figure we will either have a baby a few days old, or I will be on major labor watch. We can't plan a party at birthday place, because we may need to cancel at the last minute. So we need to have the party at our house. In order to make things easier we are having a cleaning lady the day before the party, we are ordering food, and in a total departure for me, we are ordering an ice cream cake instead of making it. (Maddie is two weeks later so postponing a week isn't a great option either)

Owen has gone to the same private school the last two years, they don't offer past kindergarten so the kids who have known each other for years will be moving on. His school also asks that you invite everyone so no one is left out, which I understand. Because he won't be seeing his good friends next year, and they will all kind of drift off I would like to be able to invite all of them. I figure we will include a note on the invite letting people know they need to call the morning of and see if the party is still on, this will maybe discourage some that he isn't real close to, also a home party may seem more boring than the bowling parties, gymboree parties that are so popular. But with kids and family we are looking at maybe 30 people (not counting parents of the kids we invite). That is a lot of people for our house.

The other morning I thought of a bright idea, have just kids in the morning, with a clearly defined time frame. Then have family over later in the day, and they can hang out, see the new baby if she is here, etc. Bud suggested that my mom bring T (same age cousin, bff) to the party with the kids, T would like hanging with the kids, my mom would like seeing the kids.

So today on the phone I asked her advice. At first she seem to agree, then shit got out of hand. She started going on about family only being allowed over for coffee and cake, and booted out, and getting all offended. I don't think my grandparents care about hanging with a bunch of 6 year olds, but whatever. So I pointed out that maybe people would be ok with it since I will probably have just experience labor and my whoo hoo will still be stitched, and they would be a bit understanding. To which she responded maybe we shouldn't have a party at all. yeah real nice. I got off the phone at that point.

I was fuming so I called back 5 minutes later and asked her if her opinion was really that it was better to tell Owen no party than for her to be offended. She went on about how we planned all our kids to be in May, so we should have thought about it more. She always complains about her mom being selfish and never thinking of her. I pointed out that is exactly how she was treating me, she was not thinking of me, my health or for the love pete, her grandson.

I don't think I was being unreasonable. So now we have this long process of her ignoring me til she isn't mad at me, and then pretending like it didn't happen. It is so irritating, I am proud of myself for calling her back and giving her a piece of my mind though. I swear she doesn't do this shit to my brother.

Noodles with White Sauce

I have been totally negligent is my recipes, so here we go. Both of my kids love pasta and I usually give them the option of what sauce they want to use. This is very quick, and I make it alot on Tuesdays when Bud has class. This is not the healthiest meal, but on those days you need something quick....

12 oz - 16 oz cooked pasta ( angel hair and the spiral noodles work well)
1C milk
1C mayo
1 package ranch dressing mix
Parmesan cheese

Mix the milk, mayo and ranch mix, then let it thicken for a bit. When the pasta is done and the ranch until it is the appropriate sauciness for your family. Then add Parmesan to your liking. I have never tried the bottled ranch for this, we keep a giant bottle of ranch mix on hand, so I can make just a little or a lot.

This tastes a bit like Alfredo sauce, and is probably just as unhealthy, but it is fast! And kids like it, so winner, winner chicken dinner.

Just do your job!

Bad news. Our dryer stopped working on Wednesday. As you all know with children, you can not let the laundry get the upper hand. If we skip more than a day we are in deep ummmm laundry. We have had issues with our washer and dryer off and on for a while now. One of the two keeps putting holes in our clothes, not helpful. So rather than fix the dryer we went out and bought a new set. And we bought a much better set, so hopefully we will have better luck. Now I can focus my hatred on our crappy oven. Personally, I shouldn't have to have feelings about my appliances. They should just do their job! Anywho, they will be delivered tomorrow.

We had another ultrasound on Thursday and the baby is about 4 lbs. Everything still looks good. I am sure the ultrasound tech thinks I am a cold person. They always say how cute she is, and really don't all babies look the same on an ultra sound? I don't really believe that they can tell if she is cute or not. I am sure she will be beautiful when she is born. The week after next I start going to the perinatologist TWICE a week. And my regular doctor every other week. It is really time consuming being high risk. Also expensive. The diabetes thing is going well, I haven't had any trouble keeping my number below the limit. However, I would eat a thousand oreo's if given the chance. Luckily my loved ones bring me many treats when the babe is born.

Babies!

How cute is my niece? My BIL and SIL seem to be doing really well. I am trying to come up with a great gift idea for them, something that will be really useful. But I know with each of my kids, whatever our lifesaver was changed. Owen loved the bouncy chair, Maddie loved the swing. We used the bottle warmer a lot with Owen, but only once with Maddie, diaper genie, not so much. Breast pump? a gift from the heavens.



With so many people having babies lately, and the new one on its way in the next 2 months or so I have been thinking a lot about how different it is after the first. I loved Swistle's beginning of labor post. Even more than the labor I just remember thinking "this is NOT what I expected".



I had a nice little picture in my head of what things would be like after Owen was born. For some reason I didn't really get my mind set on the labor, I just assumed that part would all suck, and I would be lucky if I lived through it. It is helpful to have low expectations. But somehow I expected a nice rosy glow after he was born. Instead, I always felt like I was doing it wrong. Don't ask me what "it" was. There are two incidents at the hospital that really stick out in my mind .......



1) Shortly after Owen was born, I nursed him for the first time. I think it went ok, but a few hours later (2:00am) he was hungry again, and didn't seem to be latching on right. The nurse was there and she was very helpful and encouraging. We tried a variety of different holds, and positions. Felt like he was having a hard time getting a hold of my nipple, she suggested ..... rubbing ice on it so it would perk up and he could get it. So there I am, with the nurse and Bud looking on while I rub ice on myself. Hot. So not how I pictured motherhood.



2) I got really nauseous the second night in the hospital. I woke up in the middle of the night and started throwing up. Well because of the stress on the various parts of my girly parts every time I threw up I also would pee, luckily I was wearing the giant pad they give you. Bud was asleep the whole time, then Owen started crying in his bassinet and Bud was still sleeping! I started crying in the bathroom, because this wasn't what I envisioned.

I now find these stories hysterical. At the time everything seemed so important, I wanted to have this nice memory to look back on. I now appreciate that I have a lot of funny stories to tell people.

I am I the only one that felt this way? It seems everyone else had a handle on what they were doing.

100/4 is not 30...... just sayin

So I have a brand new niece! She was born on Thursday to Bud's brother and his wife. They named her Isabella Grace, isn't that beautiful? She is only 5 lbs 2 oz and 18 inches, but my SIL is very tiny. She was about 10 days early, which is always nice. They had a lot of fertility issues and went through IVF so this has been a very long road.

It brings back memories of having Owen. Remember how different it is the first time? How you can just hang in hospital room, rather than being in labor and wondering how the older child is doing? When we had Maddie, Bud would leave the hospital room at 5:30 am so that he could go to mom's so she could leave for work. Then he would get Owen up and ready and take him to daycare when she opened at 7:00. Not quite as idyllic.

Speaking of idyllic, aren't pregnant hormones like being bathed in serenity all day long? On Thursday my glucose monitor stopped working, I have had it for 6 years (yes I replaced the batteries). So on Friday I called my doc so he could call in a new prescription for one. This morning I called to make sure he had called my pharmacy and he had. Then I asked about refilling my prescription for testing strips, I was told that insurance will only pay for one month at a time, which is a box, of 100 strips. Well standard practice is to test 4 or 5 times a day, which means I will run out 5 days before I can renew. The "helpful" technician informed me I can pay for some if I would like..... gee thanks. I pointed out it is mathematically impossible for 100 strips to be a month supply, but maybe math is not her strong suit. I understand it isn't her fault, but seriously she could have been a bit more helpful. Or at least understood the point I was making. If she had just said "yes, you are right you will run out. I suggest calling your dr and having him call in a more specific prescription for you" that would have been great. Rather than "yeah that's how it works I guess...hm". So clearly the best option is to cry about for 20 minutes, which I did.


But I have a new niece withe a head of dark curly hair.

Technical Difficulties

Yippeee we finally have our new laptop. On Tuesday it was only 40 minutes away, then they shipped it 10 hours away. I don't understand the shipping system, oh well. We finally got it on Saturday, the same day our other laptop developed a worm! So instead of Bud and I spending our time on Saturday working on separate lap tops, Bud spent his time battling the computer demons. He thinks he finally got it fixed. Keeping my fingers crossed. I have a bunch of lessons due by midnight tonight so I am sure I will be busy until late.

Mom took the kids overnight, so that is helpful. I got a decent night sleep, so that was good. Mom called a bit ago, Maddie was having one of her screaming fits. She rarely does that in front of other people, everyone thinks she is an angel. Usually she is, but she is stubborn, and feisty and when she is mad she goes into these rages. You can see she is trying to learn how to control herself, and you can see what a struggle it is. I feel so proud of her when she manages to pull herself together.


I have neglected recipes lately, also I have neglected cooking. I am sure cereal is a nutritious dinner for growing children. Another popular option has been "whatever you find in the fridge, that is not growing stuff". Yep low standard parenting, I am so proud. I hope this summer when we are both done with our classes we can get a system that works better.

Last weekend Owen and I made these brownies . They were so good, and Owen loves helping in the kitchen, instead of semi-sweet Owen made up a cup of random chips, milk chocolate, white chocolate and peanut butter. I am sure brownies are on the gestational diabetes diet, right?